Its amazing how we limit ourselves without even knowing what we might be doing. Sometimes we are tricked by our own emotions that strongly convince us that things feel right, that a decision is correct after thinking about it. Its only right because when we were thinking about it, we kept thinking the same way and thinking the same thing.
I met a young lady in the temple sometime back, sweet, playful character with such a smart mind. She mentioned to me that she was looking to move jobs and spice up her vocation. I obviously let her have my email address and advised that if I had a suitable position available, I would reach out to her, other then that, I could definitely forward her document on to a few of my agents.
It so happened that in a matter of months, I had an opening and invited her over for an interview. The whole process was awesome. What a fantastic interview, even though she had never been for one in four years. She answered every question with intention, proper reasoning, facts and engagement. The end of the interview meant "make her an offer". She was yet to undergo assessments and checks etc but the panel was convinced that she was the perfect match.
After not being able to get a hold of her for two days, she called me this evening to respectfully withdraw before taking the assessment. I know I could have said ok and moved on to my next candidate but something about this lady pierced me to say "do you mind if I ask why". She proceeded to stumble and say she was not sure but she was too busy and that maybe it wasn't the right time and that she did want a job but it had just come so quickly. Her mumbling never ended until I said "did you actually want a job or were you testing the waters", I further mentioned that I am not holding on for her, I merely would like a confirmed answer so we could proceed further. She couldn't give me that. In all her business and want for growth, she had decided that she wanted change but wasn't ready for it. She got what she asked for and was about to reject it. This is the self inflicting problem that a lot of smart and ethical people practice. I used to believe that I couldn't be in HR until I had finished my degree, I convinced myself that I needed to be better, "I wasn't ready" I would say. But when I finally got into it, I realised that I was giving myself a hard time for no good enough reason. HR was easy, it was great and I was smart enough to do it with or without a degree.
This lady has a similar problem, although not doubtful of competence, she hasn't defined factual and practical arguments for the job but mostly impractical ones against it. It wasn't even a confirmed job offer yet. Of course we spoke for more then an hour around goals and dreams and readiness. How when we want something we should ask, then do the work and then take the next step, get on the podium. How nothing can be handed to you without you creating that pathway, growing your own career. She said she knew these are the answers but I could tell that she was stuck somewhere, she was looking for answers but hadn't trusted herself enough.
I guess I'm writing because I was interested in her mental block, I was so interested in her and her style of thinking. Its so important to be able to keep your focus, have a good sounding board, keep company with a league above yours to see the possibilities and maybe not everyone has the luxury of all or any of this. I think regardless of employment as an HR professional, the societal and motivation factors were big role players in this scenario. Thats an obligation as a human being, to grow someone, to show them the parts where the road winds and to move them as someone had moved you!