I am someone who likes to test certain societal norms and boundaries. I believe it is important to challenge what is out there, instead of just accepting the things that we are told. Although I love being the open-minded person I am, sometimes I can get myself into trouble asking too many questions. I always wondered what life would be like if I didn't challenge norms and just followed society like a sheep. Would life be easier, simpler? I wasn't sure, but there is only one way to find out...
Through Embodying a narrow-minded individual for 9 days.
Narrow-mindedness is defined as lacking tolerance or not having the mental faculty to see beyond the superficial and recognise the underlying truth.
Of all the possible things to make one feel utterly uncomfortable for 10 days why did I chose to be narrow- minded ?
Well, I was brought up by parents who taught me to ask questions and not just take things as they are. There were absolutely no signs of traditional gender roles and stereotypes in my household growing up. I have memories of my father packing my school lunch and braiding my hair while my mum watched the news with a cup of coffee.
As for religion I have been exposed to several different types. My father who is atheist married a jewish women, his parents are born again christians and my mother is Christian and I am, well undecided. So i guess you could say I am Agnostic. Discrimination against race and sexual preference was also absent from my home.
The above has completely shaped my beliefs and views of the world. I think it is so important to broaden the mind and experience things for oneself.
In order to prepare for this body intervention, I had to do my research. I needed to get into the minds of the narrow-minded. To think how they think and act how they would act.
I found an article that lists a few signs of a narrow-minded person.
Tends to generalise everything
Is judgmental
Enjoys pin- pointing shortcomings
Not open to new ideas
Usually not the most positive people
Doesn't like anyone who disagrees with them.
Day 1 : "Where it all began."
The first day of my intervention is here. I have chucked all my open-minded ideas and excitement to learn new things and challenge my beliefs out the window!
I started the day by sitting in traffic and yelling at all the taxi's who in my narrow-minded opinion are only here to make our lives even more stressful than they already are.
After arriving to my first lecture of the day, I decided that complaining about late comers and the mass of work would be appropriate. I then decided to give the 'stink eye' to anyone that I didn't find to fit certain criteria.
I am finding it incredibly difficult to define the line between being narrow-minded and being just plain rude.
There were a few horrified stares directed at me, but by the end of the day my fellow class mates started to realise this to be a complete act and so I have decided that tomorrow I need to take more drastic measures in order to really up my level of discomfort and push the boundaries.
Day 2: " God made Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve".
It's day 2 of this 10 day body intervention and I am already starting to feel drained! Drained from my constant negativity, and always being on the look out for ways and moments in which I can be totally obnoxious and ignorant.
Today I decided to focus on gender roles and discrimination against sexual preference. This was not going to be an easy task as I am completely against gender and sexuality bias!
Before college I sat in bed pondering ways in which I could really make this work. I thought back to June 2013 when I went to visit my grandmother in Cape Town. She has always had certain beliefs about the way people should behave.
One of her famous quotes is, God made Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve!" Yes she is my grandmother and yes I do love her, but come on women ! Get with the programme, we live in the 21st century, such things should no longer be a concern. In fact, I still can't understand why its taken this long for people to get their heads out from their asses and just accept the fact that people are different.
I remember going out to a nice restaurant with a friend and his family. We chatted about the day and exciting things to look forward to that week, everything was great until his mother decided to whisper under her breath how gay the waiter was, and how glad she is that her son didn't decide to be gay. I was horrified and immediately asked what she had meant. She told me her belief that people have the choice to be gay or straight. My face turned red with rage. I couldn't hide my frustration and spent the rest of the evening battling it out with my friends mother.
That definitely wasn't my proudest moment. I did eventually come to realise that although I did not agree one bit with my friends mother, I knew that she was entitled to her own opinion, whether I liked what she had to say or not.
I am very lucky that despite my grandmothers skewed views, my father has never been against gays, and in fact has many friends that are gay and even chose my God father who is gay.
I continued my 2nd day of the intervention by commenting on anything that didn't fit 'traditional gender roles', such as women carrying things without the help of a man and the way in which people dressed which didn't fit their gender.
In Creative development class we were shown videos of a man by the name of Steven Cohen, who is gay and Jewish. He uses his body as a form of art to spark certain emotions from his viewers. Finally the moment had come where I could really put myself to the test and make myself and those around me rather uncomfortable. When asked what I thought about Steven Cohen I said "God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve!".
Day 3: "We shouldn't judge people through the prism of our own stereotypes". Queen Rania of Jordan
It's day 3 and what a waste of a day it has been. I woke up, studied, ate, studied, ate, and studied some more. Nothing of interest to this assignment happened today, and so i decided that instead of saying end of day 3 and to be continued, I would do some research to find out possible reasons as to why people are narrow-minded.
A theory that I found to be quite relevant to my body intervention is known as the Schema theory. A man by the name of Jean Piaget introduced the term Schema. According to his stage theory of cognitive development, children go through a series of stages of intellectual growth. In Piaget's theory, a schema is both the category of knowledge as well as the process of acquiring that knowledge. As experiences happen and new information is presented, new schemas are developed and old schemas are changed or modified.
For example a young child may first develop a schema for a horse. She knows that a horse is large has long hair, 4 legs and a tail. When the little girl encounters a cow for the first time, she might initially call it a horse, as it fits her schema for the characteristics of a horse; it is a large animal that has hair, four legs and a tail. Once she is told that this is a different animal called a cow, she will modify her existing schema for a horse and create a new schema for a cow.
Schemas although good for helping us interpret and group vast amounts of information, they can also be harmful because by holding certain beliefs, this existing schema may cause people to interpret situations incorrectly. When an event happens that challenges these existing beliefs, people may come up with alternative explanations that uphold and support their existing schema instead of adapting or changing their beliefs.
To me this makes so much sense as to why people act and think the way they do. While growing up, I was taught to analyse things for myself rather than just be told what is considered 'right' and 'wrong'.
Day 4: " We are constantly doing gender" - Judith Butler
Woke up at 4:30 this morning to quickly cram in info before my test, on the effects of media on society and theorist and writers such as John Berger, Laura Mulvey and Judith Butler, who all have strong opinions on the subject of gender and the way in which society has really shaped our behavior and the way we act and what we deem to be appropriate ways of thinking and doing according to our gender.
Critical studies is a subject that has really pushed me even further into understanding the importance of being open-minded and how easily society can mould our way of thinking and make certain behaviour that doesn’t fit the norm seem completely wrong.
Feminist theorist, Judith Butler states that gender is performative. By this she means that gender is not an essential category. We have created what it means to be male and female and we are constantly ‘doing’ gender. When we do gender, we act in a certain way, we embody and believe certain gender norms and engage in practices that map onto these norms. To read up more on Judith Butler’s theory, click on the link below.
After my test I went to blow off some steam at the gym with a few of my fellow classmates. I decided to skip my usual Thursday routine of lifting weights because as we know, only men should be strong and muscular. The ‘ideal’ woman needs to be thin, and so I needed to do copious amounts of cardio where I will not sweat, but perspire the sweet sweet smell of a bouquet of roses.
After my 45-minute work out, I went back to class refreshed, deodorized, and free from unwanted hair - completely ‘feminised’.
Day 5: "racial greetings by brothers and sisters".
Today I decided to do some research and look for blogs and websites that have content based on certain issues in todays society. These blogs and websites focus on certain societal norms and certain religious beliefs, many of these blogs were run by right-wing extremists.
The first website I found was that of the American Nazi party. I start reading through their about page. It starts off by saying, "racial greetings my brothers and sisters".
The leader of the group goes on to say "Each of us must decide just how far we will let the situation in America deteriorate, before we decide to take action to correct it. If you have had enough, and are willing to join the ranks of your ancestors who forged this land from a wilderness teeming with savages, and to keep it from returning to that state, we urge you to become involved. For your children's sake, if not for your own. For White WORKER Power!"
I found a number of other websites and blogs that have different views to the one above but they are all extreme and could be said that their views are quite narrow-minded.
Religion is on of the most sensitive issues and although every religion encourages the idea of peace and tolerance, not many remain in peace or tolerate anything when it comes to their religion. History is full of religious wars and some of them have continued for years and killed many. Is this not some sort of narrow-mindedness?
I think a prime example of a situation in South Africa where people are willing to kill or hurt others because of their own narrow-minded views is Apartheid and Xenophobia.
South Africa’s xenophobia reflects the country’s history of isolation.
This narrow-mindedness, suffered by both black and white South Africans, is a by-product of apartheid. For black people, apartheid was an insidious tool used to induce self-hate and tribalize people of the same race. For white South Africans, apartheid was there to make white South africans superior.
I decided to go to a friends youth group tonight. I have been before, but the last time I went as the open-minded person I am, and asked a whole bunch of questions in order to further understand the Christian religion. I think I ended up pissing the priest off because i kept asking why instead of just going with what he had to say. So this time I decided to keep quiet and just go along with everything.
I have to say I had a lot of fun tonight. I do how ever still believe that there is nothing wrong with respectfully asking questions, rather then just going with something because someone says you should.
Day 6 : " Is it a girl or a boy?"
Gender socialization is a process that I think has quite a lot to do with the way we think and behave which could perhaps link with certain characteristics of being narrow-minded.
Gender socialization is the process of educating and instructing males and females as to the norms, behaviours, values and beliefs of being either a male or a female.
Gender socialization occurs through 4 major agents: family, education, peer groups and mass media.
Preparations for gender socialization begin even before the birth of the child. One of the first questions people ask of expectant parents is the sex of the child. Preparation for the birth often take the infants sex into consideration, i.e. painting the room blue for a boy and pink for a girl.
Gender differences are a combination of social and biological forces. Sometimes one or the other has a larger influence, but both play a role in dictating behaviour. The link below is a good example of how much gender socialization actually affects our ideas about gender.
Gender is such a difficult topic. Do we try remove all ideas around gender from our homes? Because this is so embedded in our way of living, won't it completely confuse children?
I decided that because today was focused a lot on gender I would ensure that I act and dress very feminine and don't do anything out of the 'norm'. So i cooked my family dinner and instead of playing need for speed with all my friends I did my nails and read a magazine.
Day 7: No more black babies.
I started an au pairing job today, which was quite exciting. I can finally say no to those pathetic shooter girl outfits and heels!
As much as I really wanted to teach my new au pair kid about the importance of being heterosexual, and feeding him chicken all day long, cause we all know how much black people lose their shit to fried chicken wings, I though ummm maybe not today.
I bought Senzo a packet of jelly babies to say hi, I’m your new au pair, don’t freak out I’m really chilled and we will have tons of fun together.
I knew I had to do something out of my comfort zone today, so I decided that before I would give him the jelly babies I would throw out all the black ones and re close the packet with good old Mr Prit. I’m still cringing thinking about my horrific act! I assumed that he wouldn’t notice the ‘black babies’ were missing, but to my dismay he did! “Aaaaah this packet has no black ones! They are my favourite!” I replied with a convincing “That’s so not cool!”
When we got back to his house I asked Senzo what homework he had for that day, he said his teacher hadn’t given them homework today because he was too busy sorting out a fight. He then told me that the fight started when a boy started teasing his fellow classmate because his mother is Gay. I was shocked. I thought that surely parents of this young generation don’t teach their children that discrimination is ok???
I was thinking about this poor boy that had been bullied for having a gay mother the whole way to Senzo’s soccer practice. When we got to the soccer fields I saw he had 3 girls playing in his soccer team. This made me so happy and relieved that in some ways society did seem to be growing and gender roles were slowly starting to become less prominent.
On the way home Senzo also told me he wanted to start drama lessons. When I was in school it was considered ‘gay’ for a guy to want to sing and prance around on stage. So I was really thrilled he wanted to give it a go. Although because I am now narrow-minded, I am trying to repress my excitement.
Day 8: Faulty theories
My sister is busy writing exams and asked me to help her study for History since I really enjoyed history at school and excelled in all my history exams.
She is learning about some important theories of late scientists in the 19th century that have had a huge impact on discrimination, focusing mainly on racism.
The first theory we looked at was called Scientific racism, which is the study of human societies, their behaviour and customs.Scientists were obsessed with measuring an categorising everything including people. they measured their heads,lips,noses and other physical features and believed that these were linked to mental ability and personality types.
They believed that social factors could be analysed and categorised the same way data is in natural sciences. Scientists developed the theory that human kind was made up of separate types or races that had distinct physical differences. They made links between these physical features and mental abilities and reached unscientific conclusions about what the 'typical' characteristics of each race are.
Racist views were now supposedly based on science.
The next theory was called Social Darwinism, which came about when a man by the name of Herbert Spencer applied Charles Darwin's ideas of evolution to humans and called it the theory of social Darwinism in which he believed that certain human races were at different stages in the process of evolution. Social Darwinist believed there was a hierarchy of races and that the Europeans were the most advanced because they had developed better technology and had conquered other parts of the world.
The last theory we looked at was called Eugenics. This was a far more sinister idea behind scientific racism. The Developer of this theory believed it was wrong to protect the under privileged and weak in society. Only those with 'good' genes should be supported. They believed people with the right physical and mental characteristics should be encouraged to have children. People who did not have the 'right' genes such as mental patients and criminals, had to have a compulsory abortion, or sterilisation or prohibited sexual relations.
Any of this sound relatively familiar??? Nazi Germany adopted the belief of Eugenics and applied these ideas to their own society.
Th reason I am discussing these old theories is because I believe it is a good example of narrow-mindedness. These ideas were pseudoscientific because they were not based on proper science but on prejudice and faulty theories. Despite this fact, people still believed in it and treated people according to their so-called 'hierarchy'.
Yes, go ahead, have your own ideas and beliefs, but don't go discriminating people who don't fit your 'ideal' characteristics.
My Granny is very sick and so I decided to spend the day at her old age home and chat to all the old 'smellies' in there.
My one friend Daffy is 87 years old and she sits and cries each and every day because she says she feels lonely. It is heart breaking! But recently she has stopped crying. I started to analyse this situation further and I saw her giving Bernard a fat smooch on the lips!!! I could not believe my eyes! They looked so happy and that made me so happy.
But today when I arrived I saw her crying again. I asked the manager of the old age home what was the matter, she had been so happy these last few weeks since she met Bernard. The manager told me that Bernard's family refuse to see their father with another women after the death of their mother.
Maybe that's not exactly being narrow-minded but surely that is a characteristic of being narrow-minded?? Not being open to new ideas perhaps??
I don't know???
I walked around staring down at people who didn't fit my idea of the 'ideal'. I actually got a head ache from making fun eye movements at people! This really tall women actually asked me what I was staring at and I said "sorry its just my face". How embarrassing! Nothing else blog worthy happened today. Lets see what tomorrow brings.
Day 9 " its finally over!"
Today is the last and final day of this 9 day body intervention, and the hardest day to date.
Today went beyond trying to be narrow-minded and completely uncomforatble. Today really got me to reflect and really think about my beliefs. Because I am so open-minded I have never really followed a certain religion, I like certain aspects of certain religions, and there are certain parts of religions that I believe in a bit more then others, but I've never been able to completely dedicate myself to a religion because I constantly ask questions and when I get answers like "its in the bible" or "I just know" It makes it hard for me to just let go and just believe. I have to say, sometimes I envy people who are so sure about their religion. Especially on days like this.
I lost my Grandmother today. I had known this day was coming for a while, she was suffering and I really wanted her to be at peace and be happy. She didn't deserve the life she was living, she was completely dependent on others for completely everything and I know she wasn't happy. I have to believe that there is a much better place, where she will be reunited with my Grandfather ,free from Alzheimers and Authritis.
Even though i'm note sure what I believe, I think sometimes all you can do is hope.
I had no energy and fire in my soul to complain, to be negative, to be unapologetic, to be biased, to be judgmental, to be ignorant, I had no energy to be closed-minded.
But I did light some candles and insense and just sit and self reflect on all that I have learnt and experienced through out this journey. I have learnt that my parents have shaped the person I am today, and I am so incredibly happy that they taught me to be open-minded and experience things for my self because when you do life is a lot more exciting and bright.
I have learnt that you can find something negative in EVERYTHING, but the trick is to not search for those negatives because if you do, you will find yourself stubbing your toe or hitting every red traffic light- Negativity follows you when you follow it.
I also realized that to demand that everyone always remain open-minded about absolutely everything is itself closed-minded, since it fails to consider the possibility that some people may have concluded on sufficient evidence that some hypothesis is true or false, and also the possibility that some things are not worthy of consideration.
No matter where you go there will always be people who are racist, or sexist or just plain narrow-minded, but what’s important is that we try teach people how much better the world is when we don't discriminate and we learn to understand other peoples beliefs rather than completely ignore or disregard them.
Through research I have come to understand people a bit more, and know that many people are the way they are and think the way they think because of their up bringing and people they have surrounded themselves with. So instead of getting irritated by them, I need to understand that I was just very lucky to have come from a family who taught me to be open-minded and many people weren’t taught the way I was, and that’s ok too.