Another African tribe expresses gratitude in a similar way by saying, “I sit on the ground before you.” When someone wants to make his gratitude known, he goes and just sits quietly for a period of time in front of the hut of the person to whom he is grateful.
One of the fundamental qualities invariably found in a grateful person is humility. Gratitude is the overflow of a humble heart, just as surely as an ungrateful, complaining spirit flows out of a proud heart.
Proud people are wrapped up in themselves. They think much of themselves and little of others. If people or circumstances don’t please or suit them, they are prone to whine or become resentful. This month’s study reminds us that “God opposes the proud.” The concept is that He stiff-arms them, He keeps them at a distance, He “sets Himself in battle array” against them.
But when we choose to humble ourselves, as we are exhorted in James 4, God draws near to us and pours His grace into our lives. His Spirit does a cleansing, purifying work in our hearts; gives us victory over the noisy, demanding tyrant of self; and enables us to be thankful people, even in the midst of challenging circumstances.
Humble people are wrapped up in Christ. A humble person thinks much of God and others, and little–if at all–of himself. He recognizes that anything he has is better than he deserves. He does not feel anyone owes him anything. He does not feel entitled to have more, or for life to be easy, or for everyone to love him and treat him well. He is grateful for the least little kindness that is extended to him, knowing it is more than he deserves.
The biblical account of Ruth is one that I find particularly moving and instructive every time I read it. Ruth was a woman with a humble heart–a trait that is a companion virtue of gratitude. She didn't claim her rights. She didn't insist that Boaz provide her a living by letting her glean in his fields. And because she relinquished her demands for certain expectations, she was able to be genuinely thankful when she actually did receive the blessing of his generosity. Ruth 2:10 and 13 are not a show of false flattery, but the expressions of a heart operating out of humble gratitude.
Too many of us live with a chip on our shoulder, as if the world owes us something. “You ought to do this for me. You ought to serve me. You ought to meet my needs.” But the humble heart–the grateful heart–says, “I don’t deserve this, and it’s an amazing act of grace that you should minister to my needs.”
I once journaled the following prayer after meditating on Ruth’s story: “O God, please take me back to see where You found me and where I would be today apart from You. Please strip me of my proud, demanding ways and clothe me in meekness, humility and gratitude. Empty me of myself and fill me with the sweet, gracious nature of Jesus Christ.”
Ruth just went out to serve with a humble, thankful heart. And as a result, God made sure her needs were met. He’ll do the same for you.
Gratitude in the Scriptures
Read James 4:6-10.
- Make a list of anything you can recall whining about recently. Include things like frustrating people, annoying circumstances, wanting something you couldn't get (such as an uninterrupted nap), or having something you wished you didn't have (such as a cold). How does your complaining manifest a spirit of pride, entitlement and expectations?
- Sit quietly before the Lord for a time today and say, “I sit on the ground before You.” You may even want to literally bow your head down to the ground as you come into His presence, as an expression of your desire to humble yourself before Him. Confess any pride that has shown itself in complaining, irritability, anger or resentment, rather than giving of thanks. Humbly tell Him that you don’t deserve any of His favor, and give Him thanks for any specific recent blessings He brings to mind–including those situations you have complained about! (If a circumstance involves something sinful or evil, ask how He might want to use it in your life to make you more like Jesus.)
- Whom do you know who consistently exhibits a grateful spirit? What is it about them that makes them so remarkable? What can you learn from their example?
Nancy Leigh De Moss is the author of 10 books, including “Lies Women Believe
and the Truth That Sets Them Free” and “Choosing Gratitude: Your Journey to
Joy.” She is the teacher for two nationally-syndicated programs, Revive Our
Hearts and Seeking Him. Nancy’s burden is to call women to freedom, fullness
and fruitfulness in Christ and to see God ignite true revival in the hearts
of His people.
Humility is the quality of being modest, reverential, even politely submissive, and never being arrogant, contemptuous, rude or even self-abasing. Humility, in various interpretations, is widely seen as a virtue in many religious and philosophical traditions, being connected with notions of transcendent unity with the universe or the divine, and of ego-less-ness.
[do action=”vfquote” quote=”When pride comes, then comes shame, but with the humble is wisdom.” author=”Proverbs 11:2″/]
Humility is the strength to put others before ourselves. There is an old sports quote that says, “There are two kinds of athletes, those who are humble and those who are about to be.” It doesn't matter who you are, at some point you will be put in your place and it’s often when you are most filled with the vice of pride and are thinking the most highly of yourself that you are humbled. No one is perfect. Everyone loses. Everyone makes mistakes. It is important to use those humbling times as opportunities for growth. Its when we are most humble that we are most open to feedback and guidance from others.
[do action=”vfquote” quote=”For over a thousand years Roman conquerors returning from the wars enjoyed the honor of triumph, a tumultuous parade. In the procession came trumpeters, musicians and strange animals from conquered territories, together with carts laden with treasure and captured armaments. The conquerors rode in a triumphal chariot, the dazed prisoners walking in chains before him. Sometimes his children robed in white stood with him in the chariot or rode the trace horses. A slave stood behind the conqueror holding a golden crown and whispering in his ear a warning: that all glory is fleeting.” author=”Gen. George C. Patton”/]
Whether you have grown up with success or have stumbled into it recently, there is a natural tendency for a man to become full of himself. People may tell you that you are wonderful, important, and irreplaceable. When you start believing what you are hearing, please remember the immortal words of former French president Charles de Gaulle, “Graveyards are full of irreplaceable men”. People admire humility in successful people. That humble winner who from observing their external attitude it’s almost impossible to tell whether they have won or lost. The star athlete who humbly carries himself in public, unassuming and respectful, the way he talks with the media and deflects praise to his teammates and recognizes others for their contributions rather than himself. There is no better lesson in humility than for leaders to spend time performing the most menial tasks in the organization.
[do action=”vfquote” quote=”But many who are first will be last, and the last first.” author=”Matthew 19:30″/]
Mother Teresa’s Humility List
- Speak as little as possible about yourself.
- Keep busy with your own affairs and not those of others.
- Avoid curiosity (though I don’t think that she is referring to learning, here)
- Do not interfere in the affairs of others.
- Accept small irritations with good humor.
- Do not dwell on the faults of others.
- Accept censures even if unmerited.
- Give in to the will of others.
- Accept insults and injuries.
- Accept contempt, being forgotten and disregarded.
- Be courteous and delicate even when provoked by someone.
- Do not seek to be admired and loved.
- Do not protect yourself behind your own dignity.
- Give in, in discussions, even when you are right.
- Choose always the more difficult task.
We are not here on earth to see how important we can become, but to see how much difference we can make in the lives of others.
The term “humility” comes from the Latin word humiliates, a noun related to the adjective humilis, which may be translated as “humble”, but also as “low”, “from the earth”, or “humid”, since it derives in turns from humus (earth). Because the concept of humility addresses intrinsic self-worth, it is emphasized in the realm of religious practice and ethics where the motion is often made more precise and extensive. Humility as a religious or spiritual virtue is different from the act of humiliation or shaming though the former may follow as a consequence of the latter. In Buddhism, humility is equivalent to a concern of how to be liberated from the sufferings of life and the vexations of the human mind. The ultimate aim is to achieve a state of enlightenment through meditation and other spiritual practices. Humility can also result from achieving the liberation of Nirvana. When one experiences the ultimate Emptiness and non-self, one is free from suffering, vexations, and all illusions of self-deception. Humility, compassion, and wisdom characterize this state of enlightenment. Chan (Zen) Master Li Yuan song states that enlightenment can come only after humility – the wisdom of realizing one’s own ignorance, insignificance, and lowliness, without which one cannot see the truth.
HUMILITY
Our popular image of manliness usually consists of a man with a cocky swagger, a rebel who blazes his own path and stands confident and ready to take on the world. “Humility” doesn't seem to fit into this image. Humility oftentimes conjures up images of weakness, submissiveness, and fear. But this is a false idea of humility. Real humility is a sign of strength, authentic confidence, and courage. It is the mark of a true man.
The Hubris of Achilles
The ancient Greeks often wrote about the importance of humility. A reoccurring theme throughout their literature was the shameful, often fatal effects of hubris-excessive, arrogant pride. For the Greeks, hubris meant thinking you were wise when you were not. One story that drives home the importance of manly humility is Homer’s The Iliad.
Throughout The Iliad, we find young Achilles, the invincible Greek soldier, sitting in his tent pouting because King Agamemnon took his slave woman. All the while, Achilles’ countrymen are dying at the hands of the Trojans. Even when Agamemnon apologizes and gives back the woman in hopes that Achilles will start fighting, Achilles still acts like a fool and refuses to do so. In fact, he starts to pack up to head back to Greece. He demonstrates a complete lack of humility. While his comrades perish, he seeks to save his own skin because of an inflated sense of self-importance and his arrogant pride.
This pride then results in the great Trojan, Hector, killing Achilles’ friend. It is only then, after it has become too late, that Achilles decides to fight. Even so, it isn't even for his country; he is motivated by the pull of revenge. After Achilles kills Hector in battle, in an act of complete dishonor, Achilles ties up Hector’s body to a chariot and drags it around the walls of Troy for nine days.
While many today think of Achilles as a hero, to the ancient Greeks he embodied the shameful consequence of hubris. While they admired his legendary fighting ability, the real lesson they took from his story was the need to be humble.
What is humility?
The definition of humility need not include timidity or becoming a wallflower. Instead, humility simply requires a man to think of his abilities and his actions as no greater, and no lesser, than they really are. Real humility then mandates that a man knows and is completely honest with himself. He honestly assesses what are, and to what magnitude he possess talents and gifts, struggles and weaknesses.
Humility is the absence of pride. We are taught to think pride is a good thing. But pride functions only when comparing others to yourself. Don’t base your self-worth on how you stack up to others. Instead, focus on yourself and how you can improve. C.S. Lewis said the following about pride:
The point is that each person’s pride is in competition with everyone else’s pride. It is because I wanted to be the big noise at the party that I am so annoyed at someone else being the big noise. Two of a trade never agree. Now what you want to get clear is that Pride is essentially competitive-is competitive by its very nature-while the other vices are competitive only, so to speak, by accident. Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man. We say that people are proud of being rich, or clever, or good-looking, but they are not. They are proud of being richer, or cleverer, or better-looking than others. If everyone else became equally rich, or clever, or good-looking, there would be nothing to be proud about. It is the comparison that makes you proud: the pleasure of being above the rest. Once the element of competition has gone, pride has gone.
What humility is not
In their quest to be humble, people often confuse humility with false modesty. I think we've all been guilty of this at one time or another. When we are recognized for a great accomplishment, we act as though what we did really wasn't that important or that big of a deal. For example, we spend many hours meticulously putting together an excellent presentation for work, and when people praise us we say, “Oh, it was just something I threw together.” We have a tendency to devalue what we've done under the pretense of humility. In fact, people often take on the guise of false humility for the sake of receiving more praise and adulation from others. You want people to think “Wow, he said he just threw that together! Imagine what he could do if he had spent hours on it.” When you do something well, don’t toot your own horn excessively, but truthfully acknowledge what you accomplished.
How to practice humility
Give credit where credit is due. The prideful man will take as much credit for a success as he possibly can. The humble man seeks to shine the light on all the other people and strokes of luck that came together to make that success happen. No man rises on the strength of his bootstraps alone. Innate talent, a supportive family member, friend, teacher or coach, and lucky breaks always contribute somewhere down the line.
Don’t name/experience drop. Have you ever been in a conversation with a man who felt it necessary to interject how he’s been to Europe twice, got a 4.0 in college, dines frequently at pricey restaurants, or knows a famous author, at points in the conversation where such tidbits of information didn't belong? These people are completely annoying and are basically trying let others know how great they are. Their exaggerated sense of self-importance leads them to demand the lion’s share of attention. These men are clearly insecure; they do not think they can win the interest of others without front loading all of their attention grabbers. A humble man can hold back on sharing his strengths. He understands that others have equally important and interesting stories to share, and his turn will come.
Do what’s expected, but don’t make a big deal about it. My grandparent’s generation understood the idea of fulfilling your duty. In his book, The Greatest Generation, Tom Brok aw made this observation:
The World War II generation did what was expected of them. But they never talked about it. It was part of the Code. There’s no more telling metaphor than a guy in a football game who does what’s expected of him — makes an open-field tackle — then gets up and dances around. When Jerry Kramer threw the block that won the Ice Bowl in ’67, he just got up and walked off the field.
Why don’t we take a lesson from our grandfathers? Do something because you’re supposed to do it, have a little humility, and shut up about it.
Perform service and charity anonymously. Prideful men want everyone to know when they do a charitable act. They drop the amount of money they donated to a cause into conversation, they post pictures of their service to Facebook, and they never miss a chance to remind someone they served of their generosity towards them. They are obviously doing service for the wrong reason: to stoke their ego and gain acclamation. Real charity is not self-seeking and is done solely for the benefit of others. Next time you do something nice, try keeping it completely to yourself. It’s a tough test of your manly humility.
Stop one-upping people. Few things are more annoying than a man who must constantly one-up others during conversation. You say, “I once went to a Rolling Stones concert.” He says, “I once had backstage passes to a Rolling Stones concert.” Whatever someone says, the one-upper must do him one better. Resist the urge to take part in these pissing contests. You usually end up with pee on your shoe anyway. If you notice someone who wants to engage in this show of one-oneupmanship, be the better man and let him have his moment of glory. People may talk about that guy’s exciting story the next day, but they’ll remember how much of a gentleman you are years later.
[do action=”vfquote” quote=”It is not titles that honor men, but men that honor titles. ” author=”Niccolo Machiavelli”/]
You Are Beautiful As You Are
There was once a crow who did not like his feathers. “I wish I were a peacock!” he would say. “You are beautiful as you are!” the other crows insisted. “How plain and dull you seem to me!” he’d complain, and fly off to admire peacocks. The peacocks strutted about with their colorful tail feathers outstretched. To the delight of the crow, some of the peacock feathers lay on the ground when the peacocks left. Crow flew down to the ground and stuck the feathers into his wings and tail. He attached a few sticking up from his head. “Now I am as beautiful as a peacock,” he said. But, when he went to join them in their strutting, the peacocks poked him and pecked him. What a fuss! “You are not a peacock,” they said, “Don’t imitate us!” Bruised and still dragging some broken peacock feathers in his tail, he returned home. After all his insults, no one wanted his company! As he sat alone, the other crows said, “It’s foolish to try and be what you’re not. Learn to love the feathers you've got!”
[do action=”quote” quote=”Some people are born on third base and go through life thinking they hit a triple.” author=”Barry Switzer”/]
The Ox and The Frog
A young frog set out on his first adventure. As he came out of the pond he saw a large ox grazing in a field. Having never before seen such a creature, he hopped excitedly to his father, the bullfrog, and said, “I have just seen the biggest frog in the world! “Humph!” said the bullfrog, “Was he as big as me?” and he puffed himself up. “Oh, much bigger than that!” said the little frog. “Was he THIS big,” said the bullfrog, puffing himself up even larger. “Much, much bigger than you!” said the little frog. “Ridiculous!” said the bullfrog, who fancied himself much more important than he was. “He couldn't be bigger than me! I’m the oldest frog in the pond. I was here first! Was he bigger than THIS?” He puffed and puffed himself up so much…he burst!