It's like everywhere! You can't get away from it! I go to any public bathroom, any restaurant, at work. There it is waiting for me. Ready to make my butthole bleed. It's nerve racking enough to have to use a public bathroom around other people. The cheap toilet paper just adds insult to injury.

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I get it, if you are poor, and have no other option. I have been there. I was a free lunch kid. You make due with what you have. There isn't much excuse for businesses that have a customer base though.

I also don't understand how something that is as rough as cheap toilet paper. Also simultaneously has zero tensile strength? To be able to pull the toilet paper from the role without ripping it prematurely. You need to put the same amount of concentration as you would diffusing a bomb. It's like it's own crazy contradiction.

It's like the toilet paper taunts you, "Hey bitch! I'm gonna make your ass bleed so hard. I won't hold together if you attempt to pull me though. No! Fuck that! You are gonna have to work to get these little sandpaper squares in your hand."

It's like this horrible thing that I don't think anyone wants to talk about. I say no more! We should all rise up, and say to the businesses of the world. Please stop putting crappy toilet paper in your bathrooms! Please let us frequent your establishment without fear that our buttholes will not endure one more experience of sandpaper grinding them down! Please make our lives just a little easier.