For a cheap and eco-friendly hair net, simply walk through a cobweb
Save money on fuel by fitting larger wheels to the back of your car. That way you will always be going downhill.
Save money on expensive binoculars by simply standing closer to the object you wish to view.
Boil an egg to perfection by popping the egg in boiling water, getting in your car and driving at 60mph for 3 miles. Then stop and phone your wife to remove the eggs.
Increase congregation sizes at church by replacing traditional communion wafers for Cheese & Chive Pringles.
Imagine you are driving in London by simply sitting in your car honking the horn all day and never actually going anywhere.
Save money on expensive cat carriers by simply tying the tail of the cat to one of it's legs to make a convenient carry loop.
Never forget your wife's birthday again by giving her 40 cards all at once and instructing her to only open once a year, on her birthday.
Save money on expensive model train sets by simply standing far away from a real train.
Don't waste precious drinking time by eating. Simply stand a sausage upright in your drink and every time you take a sip, you can also take a bite.
Make people believe you are a magician by vigorously shaking a bottle of talc powder every time you leave a room so they think you've vanished in a plume of smoke.
Rappers: stop your trousers from falling down and hanging from your arse by wrapping a strip of perforated leather around your waist with a buckle at the end to tie it together.
