TOPIC: SIX (6) KEYS/TIPS YOU NEED TO KNOW BEFORE YOU GET MARRIED (Pastor Mrs. Jackie Talena)
Text: 1 John 4:6-7
The following are tips/keys you need to know before you get married:
(1) Study to show yourself approved. Whatever you don’t take your time to study, you will never learn or understand. The more you study, the more you know. There is no mystery in marriage but lack of study makes it complex. You must understand the specimen you are going to use for the experiment.
(2) Invest more in the foundation rather than investigate. Whatever you value, you invest in and whatever you invest in will yield result. Invest in the person you want to marry, don’t investigate them. Until you have invested in a person, you have no stake and no right to investigate. Invest in their spirituality; invest your time in the person you want to marry.
(3) Why exactly are you getting married? Don’t marry because you are getting old or because of parental, peer or societal pressure. You must only get married, as a woman, to help a man become a better man. As a man, you must only marry to show the love of Christ to that woman.
(4) How compatible are you? Marry the person at the same intellectual, spiritual level with you.
(5) Be ready to reverence the three personalities involved: God, your partner and yourself. You must validate yourself. As long as you have no self worth, you can never reverence your partner.
(6) What is your love language? Are you aware of your own love language? It is only when you become aware of your love language that you can communicate it to your partner effectively and teach them to love you the way you need to.
TOPIC: ROMANCE IN MARRIAGE (Rev. Joshua Talena)
TEXT: ECCLESIASTES 4:9.
INTRODUCTION
Marriage is a blessing only when it works according to how God intended it to. Marriage hurts itself. Marriages are hurt by self-sabotage more than demonic attack. The mismanagement of marriage is the reason why people experience hurt. Change begins when understanding meets with action. You can never bring about change without understanding. If you don’t learn marriage, you will come under attack of marriage. Wisdom is the key to romance in marriage. Songs of Solomon 4:2-10. Romance is the play-play side of a serious business called marriage. Where there is no romance, any little fault will cause crisis, ex-lovers become convenient roommates.
Romance can be killed.
REASONS WHY ROMANCE DIES:
(1) Nonchalant attitude.
(2) Lack of self-care. Don’t stop looking good because you are married.
(3) When family routines and pressure arrest the dynamism of marriage.
(4) By withholding appreciation and ignoring memorable moments. When there is shortage of appreciation, romance dies.
(5) By magnifying faults and allowing curse and abusive words. Don’t “try to get the best out of your partner” by cursing, instead be the best partner for them.
(6) When third parties influence or come into your home. The only third party must be the Holy Ghost.
HOW TO IGNITE ROMANCE:
(1) Place romance high on your list of necessities for a fulfilling marriage. You must learn the power of words, the language of love and your own love language.
(2) You must learn to touch (the power of touch). You must learn to touch with skillful hands. Sex is the last thing in romance.
(3) Satisfy the basic duty and obligation required from you as a spouse. As a man, you must provide for your spouse. Finance sponsors romance. As a woman, you must cook for your husband and care for your home.
(4) Do little surprises and upliftments. Spice up the life of your partner through little gifts, loving text messages, sing songs to your lover. Your gift must not be expensive, it must express how you feel towards your spouse. Value people and show them that you do.
(5) Lift your commitment to the relationship higher than feelings. Whether you feel like it or not, be committed. Don’t trust your feelings, feelings can fail you. Love is a combination of feelings and commitment.
(6) Intentionally revisit the things that ignite your passion. John 21:5-18(MSG). Luke 5. Even Jesus took Peter to revisit sites to reignite Peter’s love. Passion is very important to keep romance in marriage. Passion is the sponsor of love.
(7) Work in the love of God. When you operate the love of God, you will never lack romance. When your feelings fail, let the love of God sustain you until the feelings begin to come back. You must identity why the feelings went away in the first place and address it. Marriage is a journey of purpose, it will not always be rosy like an Indian film. Only the love of God can sustain you in hard times.
I pray for you, may the love of God sustain your marriage or relationship in Jesus mighty name. Amen.