Creatively support your mental health - the "WHY" game

There are two ways to live your life. One is to let your thoughts and emotions control you and the other is for you to control them. This is not something that you can master overnight, especially if you are dealing with anxiety or depression but let me tell you a little secret... People who have or had those problems are more likely to learn how to control their thoughts and emotions and after they get better are much more healthier and happier than those that did not have those problems. This is because we start working on ourselves only when we have the problem. If you do not have it, be wise and work on yourself too ;)

Ever since you were born, you have been training and tutoring your brain how to work. Everything that you experienced with your senses was translated to signals that reached your brain and provoked a certain reaction, mental, emotional, or both. You can not control the outside world but the inside one is all your doing. No one created your thoughts but you. Own it. Accept responsibility for them. Maybe you made a mistake or two, maybe even more and it got your brain screwed up and depressed. That is nothing that can not be fixed but do not beat yourself up about it and respect results too fast.

Imagine a little baby trying to walk for the first time. It will fall a lot. When it does fall, what do you do? Do you scream at that baby, call it names? Do you say it is stupid and incompetent? Do you say: "Hey baby, you fell down! You will never walk so give up! I don't think I have ever seen people act that way. People encourage the baby, help it up and say: "Try again" with a smile on their face. That is what you have to do with your brain. Encourage it and remind it to try again and try again and try again and try again and try again...

If your brain is not working to your liking, retrain it. It can be done. All you have to do is pay attention to your thoughts and not allow them to flow naturally without any control. Direct them instead. This is not an easy process but there are ways to make it fun. Just like exercising your muscles. It can be hard and you can hate it or you can put on some music, pick the fun ones and move your body until more time passed than you realized and there is sweat all over. Your brain needs exercise too. Not exercising is what got you where you are now, and exercising will get you out.

There comes a time in every child's life when it starts asking questions. Most of those questions start with the word "why". They want to know why is the sky blue, why do they have to eat their vegetables, why is the power out, why does a chicken have two legs and a cow has four. So many whys. Every answer you give them will make them ask another question and when you answer that one, they will ask you another one most times interrupting you while you talk to ask you yet another one.

Kids know that questions are more important than answers. Without questions, there would be no answers. They love questioning so much that they will not wait for you to finish your answer before they ask you another question. When they are satisfied with what they have heard, they will make another question and they will keep doing that until we teach them that interrupting is bad. Then we lose our patience and interrupt the questioning with answers like "Because I said so." and in the end stop them all together with "Not now" and finally "Stop asking questions!" I loved having those why conversations when I was a kid and I really enjoy them as an adult. I have so much fun when I get the chance to be around children and play along with the "why interrogation". That is why they became an inspiration for the mental WHY GAME that I play with myself. I will teach you how to play with yourself too. Hmmm... That sounded kinky... Scratch that. I will teach you how to play with your brain.

Like any other game, you can either win or lose this one too. Luckily, you can always start over and play again until you win. That is kind of the point of getting better, right? Not to give up. As with any other game, we have rules and players. There are two players every time, you and your brain. You lose the moment you stop playing and the brain remains the only one in the game. As longs as you are playing, you are winning. Simple, right? There is no end you have to achieve here.

The game starts with your reaction to something, anything and any reaction. Your brain is doing the answering, and you are doing the questioning. Why, why, and why, only why. Whatever your brain response is, just ask why. You do not even have to wait for it to finish. You can interrupt it whenever you want by another why.

Imagine that your brain is a person. Your next question to it should always be in response to what it just said. If it said I do not deserve this, your next questions should be:

Always ask two questions with the second one being its last answer in a question form with the word why at the beginning. Maybe your brain will answer something like I don't deserve this because I am not a good person and I think I do not deserve it because there is proof all around me. Now we introduce THE RULES. Whenever your brain says something negative, say BAD BRAIN! and when it says something positive say GOOD BRAIN! just like you would if you were training a dog. After you say that, move on to your next two questions, for example:

Your brain may answer I am not a good person because I am not like others and that is why I think that! or it could go in another direction and say something like I am depressed and this is not true, I made myself think that I am not a good person. Since this is a slightly more positive answer than the last one, because your brain did acknowledge what was going on, you should respond accordingly.

You following the rules means saying GOOD BRAIN and BAD BRAIN to its responses and always asking two more questions but just because you are playing by the rules does not mean your brain will. It may ignore your questions and say something completely different or ignore you all together. When that happens (and it will), just keep following the rules. If it starts talking about something else, ask another two questions regarding the thing it is now talking about and if it is ignoring you repeat your questions or ask it why is it ignoring you. It will probably say that it is ignoring you because the game is stupid or something like that. Fine, just ask it why is the game stupid and why does it think that. Even if your brain responds with something like Hey look, that bird is pretty! continue the game by asking two more why questions like:

First response there is GOOD BRAIN because even though the brain maybe did not answer your previous questions, it did respond with something positive. Remeber, the point here is to recognize if the response was positive or negative, focus on the why questions and not give up. As long as you are playing, you are winning. When you stop, you lose. It is normal that you will eventually stop. You will not be playing this your entire day (but then again, if you can, go ahead), just make sure that you start playing it again when you notice that you have not been playing for a while. There is nothing wrong with playing this game a couple of times during the day and no matter how long you managed to play it, give yourself credit for playing and then start again.

We are often prisoners of our own thoughts and no one out there is controlling us accept us. You could blame the media, your parents, society or the books you have read but it all comes down to your thoughts. Maybe it is time that you accept responsibility for them. No one can make you think something but you could make yourself think all sorts of things.

Your every emotion is valid and important. To get somewhere you do not only have to know where you are going but you have to know where you are right now. How would you know where to go if you do not know from where you are starting? Accept what you are and where you are. Accept why you are where you are and why you are who you are. One of the benefits of this game is your brain responding to your questions naturally. It will always say what it wants to say. By listening to those answers, you will get a better idea about your current condition and know where you are and how you are. Sometimes we are not really aware of that. We may think that we are worse than we are or even that we are better than we are. This game provides a fresh perspective.

Control is important. You should aim for a state of control over your thoughts and leave the place where you are controlled by them. Every time you stop yourself in the middle of something, you are taking that control back. Every time you ask your brain those WHY questions, you are stopping it from further rambling and taking you where you do not really want to be. Where do you want to be? Who do you really want to be? By asking your brain WHY questions you will get there sooner because you will trigger it to think. It will think and it will think more and more but it will think what you make him think. This game will help you. Have some fun and try it. What have you got to lose?