Here, man is not the boss. Man and woman have to work to meet the family's needs.
On a sunny afternoon, mid-October 2014, in Uiboa village in East NusaTenggara, I was involved in an interesting discussion about gender equality.
We invited some villagers to discuss the action plan for livelihood program in the village. We discussed many things related to village history, livelihoods and pests that eat away their corn and vegetable crops. Also about fungus that recently damage their seaweed, source of people income in recent years.
That was a serious discussion. Except when they respond to my friend's questions about the pattern of roles and responsibilities of family members, about the distribution of work between husband and wife, between men and women.
Instead of answering, some of them just laughed at us. They said the question too excessive.
"Why do you researcher love to ask that question?"
"Sorry Mama, we want to know who do what, to make sure our intervention to the right target," replied my friend.
Satisfied laughing at us, they tell us that in Uiboa, the distribution for both men and women are almost the same. Yes there are several differences and segregations, but it is on the merits of propriety and safety.
Like catching fish or sailing, more dominated by men. To grow seaweed, the role of men is when laying seaweed in the ocean. While tying the grass on the planting medium is performed jointly by men and women.
Mother or woman is responsible for managing and processing food. Cooking is also a part of women's work. But men also do this job.
After that discussion, we (who were called as"researchers"), went home while laughing at ourselves and our too "scientific" question.
Belajar Keseteraan Gender dari Penduduk Uiboa
Di sini, suami bukan bos. Katong, man and woman, sama-sama bekerja untuk penuhi kebutuhan keluarga.
Siang terik medio Oktober 2014, di salah satu rumah warga di Desa Uiboa Semau, Nusa Tenggara Timur, saya dan beberapa teman terlibat dalam diskusi menarik seputar kesetaraan gender.
Kami mengajak beberapa warga untuk mendiskusikan rencana program penguatan livelihood di desa mereka. Kami membahas banyak hal terkait sejarah desa, mata pencaharian, tentang hama yang mulai menggerogoti tanaman jagung dan sayuran. Juga penyakit jamur yang belakangan muncul dan merusak rumput laut, satu komoditas andalan pendapatan warga beberapa tahun terakhir.
Itu diskusi serius. Kecuali saat mereka menanggapi pertanyaan teman saya tentang pola pembagian peran dan tanggung jawab anggota keluarga, tentang distribusi pekerjaan antara suami dan istri, antara laki dan perempuan.
Bukannya menjawab, sebagian dari mereka justru menertawakan kami. Kata mereka pertanyaan itu berlebihan.
"Kenapa e Bapak Ibu peneliti suka sekali nanya itu?"
"Maaf Mama, kita mau tahu siapa mengerjakan apa, biar saat program nanti bisa tepat sasaran," balas teman saya.
Puas menertawakan kami, mereka menceritakan di Uiboa atau di Semau umumnya, beban aktivitas harian antara laki-laki dan perempuan hampir sama. Pemisahan lebih didasarkan atas kepatutan dan keselamatan.
Menangkap ikan atau berlayar misalnya, lebih didominasi oleh laki-laki. Untuk menanam rumput laut, peran laki-laki adalah saat meletakkan rumput laut di lautan. Sedangkan saat mengikat rumput pada media tanam, dilakukan bersama-sama oleh laki dan perempuan.
Sementara ibu atau perempuan bertanggung jawab untuk mengelola dan mengolah pangan. Memasak juga merupakan bagian dari pekerjaan perempuan. Namun tidak jarang laki-laki melakukan pekerjaan ini.
Usai diskusi, kami yang disebut "peneliti" ngehek itu, pulang sambil menertawai diri kami sendiri dan pertanyaan kami yang sangat "ilmiah".