How should I name you? guardian? brother? sister? friend? angle? heart? breath? or soul? Every label is something strange, where we have hitherto been inseparable. What if I name you ‘Me’. Yeah, it sounds better, doesn’t it? for it is slightly closer the meaning I intend to express.
In 2016, you know, I completed my study in Ar-Raniry. I majored in English Language Department. I ever studied Philosophy, yet the brotherhood you shared with me is the wisest philosophical thought I knew. I ever studied Vocabulary and Pronunciation, yet every word in Oxford’s, Cambridge’s, Webster’s and Longman’s can’t aptly describe your merit so far. I ever studied Linguistics, yet every linguistic symbol can’t successfully visualise your warm love.
A saying stated that you'll discover your soulmate’s true attitude in a disagreement. This has been proven during our meeting. I noticed that we occassionally disputed in so many things, yet this only strengthens our camaraderie. You forgave me that I sometimes was not around there to help you in desperate circumstances, as I also accepted your apology that you ever ditched me when I was in a misfortune and found nobody to depend on except you.
Years ago we met, the time went by madly fast with bliss, joy, laugh, smile, affection, temporary hatred, sadness, and tears. Every fragment finally shapes our story. Some parts of it are recorded in photographs you keep safe in your memory card, while some others you hoard as folders in your computers. However, this universe is meant to be in an equilibrium; the moon and the sun share shifts to beam the earth, the night darkness is regularly diminished by the dawn light on daily basis, babies are born to live expecting their death, flowers bloom, wither, and fall down; and of course, people meet and be apart. Should you feel the same, have no doubt to spill it out. I am eager to hear.
Thank You! Thank you for the pure camaraderie you always show. Thank you for the noble loyalty and truthfulness, I never in any way doubt that. Thank you for the burden your shoulder for my sake. How much that costs? Will you require me to pay the price? I am sure you won’t. Of the hardest thing is to find a soulmate. Of the most impressive things is your sincere heart. Of the blessings is to get through one of the life phases by your side. The next adventure of our life remains a mystery. We have no idea in which land we will die, in what way our breath will stop and how our relationship will be. Will this compassion will last only in this worldly life and perish right away as we die? or will it continue to bloom in the next life: paradise? You know, I am so frightened. I have never got through such a petrifying phase before. Every breath I take marks the seconds bringing us closer to the ‘separation’, I absolutely detest this word. After all, I don’t know how much should I thank you. I think I thank you from the bottom of my heart, yet for you, my hear has no bottom.
I am extremely pleased and thankful for everything we share. Stories about abhorrence and hatred I wrote on sand so that the rising tides may wipe them out, while stories about bliss and happiness I carve on rocks so that there is no wind which can obliterate.
After all this, I wonder whether there is still a room for me inside your heart. I was nobody when I came, then all these years you’ve lifted me up to become somebody. Now, even if I should leave, I am fully assured that I won’t be an unloved weed among blooming roses. After the darkness of lonesome, you are the dawn breaking on the horizon. Among the stench of hypocrisy wastes, you are white lilies of honesty which still blossom. Among rocky tracks of this 'fana' life, you are sturdy woods on which I hold.
Your compassion is so pure that every hearts can be impressed. Your affection marks traces in every step leading to my current achievement. When I was on the blink of despair, you always successfully raise me up and made me more energised. I can’t imagine how this life would seem to me if we didn’t meet years past. I don’t know why, when you are around, I bear no fear of the spectre of future. With this in my mind, your name is worth mentioning in every prayer. Time may fly and distance may tear us apart, yet memories about you will never fade away. I have no fear about that since from the first time we based this camaraderie on Allah’s pleasure.
Now, let me fly and let’s be apart for a while hoping that the next phases of togetherness will be more lovely. Please, have no doubt that I’d always attempt to return once I can. But, in case this is the final occasion for me to meet you in flesh, be relieved at Allah’s decision.
It’s true that even with the sophisticatedness of the current era which allows us to reach each other instantly, I’m petrified of being forgotten. Even if this worried possibility will show, it’s not your mistake. I know, we were given birth, then we walk proudly on the earth, and when we lay under the sod, some of us are forgotten and some others last in living people’s minds. And you, will you recall?
Meuriti aron taloe Beurayeung
Bak abeueng-abeueng taloe Lueng Bata
Pukeuh lam hate mantong na ruweueng
Keu sidroe ureueng faki ngon hina
Allah rakan beh po bungong naleueng
Pakri eik kureueng gaseh keu gata
Lam baten meusyen maken seumeureueng
Sang picek ruweueng didalam dada
Lon raya sabah keu gata buleuen
Dile teueh patheuen jinoe dewasa
Sama tarasa mameh ngon keu-eueng
Hantom jeuet useueng calitra gata
Taingat keu lon bek jareueng-jareueng
Paleuet beutaleueng takirem doa
Masa saboh jan tapeunyuem-peunyuem
Bek tapeuhareuem lon keusyedara
Boh tutong uroe boh tunjai ujeuen
Hana lon hireuen meunyoe keu gata
Tabri seutia han eik lon bileueng
Sisuntok zameuen hana bandeng sa
Sayang ngon gaseh abeh beunileueng
Hantom meukureueng silama-lama
Rasa nyang suci kawi ban kareueng
Dak bade tinteueng hana sapu na
Meuah ngon ampon keulon hai buleuen
Nye na leumpah kheuen kureueng keunira
Kadang pi tuto teulanjoe keu-eueng
Ban mata peudeueng meutop lam dada
Karot nyang awai bekle meucabeueng
Ngak bek meukaleueng angan ngon cita
Sangkira mudah gata lonjak tueng
Keudeh lon rayueng mangat bersama
Lon tinggai gata sinan dimideuen
Teupeuko bak leuen ngen hate rugha
Dilon teureubang laksana bayeuen
Ubak laen dheuen tanoh Irupa
Lon duek teupeukoe tahe tumpang keueng
Diyub seurayueng teungoh purnama
Teubayang gata hai bungong seupeueng
Bak sang meudiyeueng ka dikeu mata
Rihon beureuhi meunyuem lam tuleueng
Hajat meuteumeueng tameungieng mata
Meuyoe na tuah tanyoe meuteumeueng
Dilon taampeueng bak leuen bandara
Nyankeu dum dandam meukeut’am tuleueng
Pakri lon peutheun peunawa hana
Tuboh teuh jarak han sapat ruweueng
Jurang meulinteueng tutu pih hana
Dak beuranggahoe lon jak meurayueng
Panyang ngon bideueng lon sipat donya
Lon harap beujeuet ban jarom-beuneueng
Sapat meuteumeueng lam bungkoh sutra
I bid you farewell. You know, I never prevaricated the truth about you. Those memories will be hoarded safely. the future is full of surprise. Good bye!
Jeulingke, 24 September 2018