Ok, I'm officially tired of being the sacrificial lamb of this ridiculous show. I'm tired of going around trying, and I say TRYING, to be humble, when deeply inside I'm as arrogant and selfish as they come. I have given terrible direction to my personal life movie and it's time to make changes.
I thought I wanted to live in Nature and to become someone who served as an inspiration to others, and also that people would come to my side to build a new kind of civilization that was deeply connected to our roots.
The only person who came to my side had a good heart but never stopped talking and got on my nerves super quick with her never ending speeches about sacred numeric codes, fifth dimension and her obsession with royalty and saints. I don't think she's a bad person, I just can't coexist 24/7 with someone like that.
So I find myself in this dilemma of going after what I really want or staying here alone, with little sunlight since the winter is coming, attempting to play the hero. Yesterday I meditated on the concept that I am the only one who truly exists, that all else is illusion. It's a painful thought, makes you work on detachment so badly. But when I embraced it, it was no longer interesting to play the hero.
Why be a hero? So that others can live their lives in peace? But there are no others, so what's the point? So that others will clap, give you likes and hearts on social media, and say what a cool guy you are? Again, there are no others.
It makes me think what is it that I truly desire. Assuming there is no one else to judge me, what do I want? Well, I want endless money flowing into my account so that I can just have those humans that lust after coin doing what I want. I want to just ask and receive.
Let's be specific though because I already have endless money flowing into my account, but right now it's only enough for me to live as this crazy lunatic who has to do incredible efforts to get very little done. I want it to be at least 30 dollars a day to start with. When I know I can manage and do well with that amount we'll see about increasing.
Don't worry. I'll use the money for the same utopia I had in my mind. Just going to do it quickly without so much sacrifice. The game will be renewable energy everywhere and housing for those who respect Nature.
I want to have a nice hot shower available every morning, I want a clean and tidy environment, I want trees, plants, mushrooms and wild animals roaming around. I want all sorts of fruit, grains, vegetables, and legumes available to me every day. But I want it all together. Not having to choose between Nature and comfort. I want NATURE AND COMFORT.
I also want a beautiful female human companion. I say this explicitly so that I don't receive a dog or cat companion, since you know how magic plays out wrong if you're not careful. I want this companion to enjoy silence, Nature and has a never ending lust for me sexually speaking.
I'm done with the twin flame journey and I don't need someone to treat like I'm special. I know I'm special, there is no one else.
I'm open to surprises regarding what beautiful means, but I would very much like her aspect:
@bly.sg on Instagram if you're curious.
And that's it. That's all I want. What? Too blunt? Come on. No judging.