When you label something “good,” you may try to fit it into your life even though you don't feel inspired to. Like a healthy food that doesn't taste good to you. The fact that you can't find a way to enjoy it means it's not your path of least resistance.
When you label something “bad,” you taint your perception. Treating it as unwanted will cause you to undervalue it and turn down opportunities to find a better feeling perspective.
Labels can make things easier to classify, but the moment you label something it becomes harder to see past that label to what's inside. A label that serves you is one that makes you feel good about whatever you've labeled. If you label something and feel bad about it, you've mislabeled it.
If I label Clorox bleach as something I don't want to drink, that's accurate, but it misses the true purpose of Clorox bleach. How it can clean and disinfect and even strip the color out of certain things. It's really great at what it does.
Seeing people and things for what they're great at activates the greatness of the world around you. Misunderstanding people and things causes you to think the world is a cruel and dangerous place.
Here are some replacement questions that can help you transcend black and white perspectives, to begin seeing the greatness that's just waiting to be found.
Is this good or bad?
How can I have fun with this?
Is this right or wrong?
Where would this lead me if I treated it as my path of least resistance?
Do I want this in my life?
What could this grow into if I loved it unconditionally?
These questions help you look less at what something is, and more at what it can become. Less at what it means to everyone else, and more on what it means to you.
Where Is “Bad” Limiting You?
If something is bad, then knowing that it's not for you should be enough to cause you to never second guess it. If it keeps popping up in your mind or experience, then perhaps you want to go deeper with your clarity.
I used to think insecurities were bad. I would hide them and try to ignore them out of existence. But those insecurities weren’t going anywhere because the desires that I have on the other side of those insecurities weren’t going anywhere. It turns out that embracing my insecurities not only made me more confident and comfortable being myself, but it made me love myself and others so much more.
I used to think that struggle was bad, until I was exposed to a perspective that showed me that the things I was willing to struggle through would shape me far more than the things I think I desired. That willingness to struggle is what allowed me to break the inertia that kept me from wanting to explore my insecurities at all.
I used to think that inertia was bad, until I realized that sometimes we have to slow down to turn around. And if you try to press the gas while life is putting on the breaks, you’re just going to burn yourself out.
Where Is “Good” Leading You Astray?
I used to think creating perfection was good, until I realized that striving for perfection caused me to often give up on creating anything at all. Now I just focus on creation, trusting that consistent creation will lead to natural improvement. Trying to create something that’s out of reach, only leads me to giving up. Might as well work with what today’s me can do right now, instead of constantly feeling like I’m falling short by not living up to what I know I could one day be.
I used to think that looking cool in the eyes of others was good, until I realized that the higher other people think of you, the less likely you’re going to feel free to try something new and make mistakes. Now I welcome opportunities to look less than my best, because I know I will just turn that many more heads when I decide I feel like looking my best again.
I used to think that holding myself to high standards was good, until I realized that that sort of elitism caused me to look down at anything average, instead of recognizing that average is pretty freaking amazing. Just think of all the amazing things the average human mind and body can do. We’re so used to comparing ourselves to the best of the best that we forgotten that we are the best of the best. We are capable of doing things no other species on Earth can even come close to, and yet we take it for granted because some other human can do something we can’t.
The old me would want to become that better human that others look up to. But now I realize I want to become the version of me that I look up to. Someone who loves purely and deeply. And revels in the joy of life. I don’t need to separate myself from others by grand achievement. I want to connect with others in this beautiful shared human experience.
It’s lonely at the top because when you want to be the best, you won’t be satisfied until you’re better than everyone else. You will keep pushing until your desire dies or you break down from exhaustion.
The reason it takes so much hard work to separate yourself from the pack is because you weren’t meant to be a lone wolf. We are made to build and thrive in communities. And anything “good” that leads you astray from that, will only lead you away from your true nature and potential.
Conclusion
Good and bad are not absolutes. They’re directions on a compass. The only way to stay on course is to continually calibrate that compass. To question your assumptions of both good and bad, and be open to proving your present self wrong.
Your future awaits you, and whether or not it’ll be as good as you hope or as bad as you’re fearing rests entirely on your ability to discover what’s true for you, and let go of what was true for the old you.
If you can identify the parts you like about the bad, and the side-effects you dislike about the good, then you can get clearer on what you're wanting and why you've been calling these things into your experience. Then it won't really matter what happens down the road, because you'll be able to find the right perspective to carve your way through the mountain of possibilities that await you.
Thanks for reading!
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