I know why I started thinking about it.
I was out running, and my goal while running is to get in the zone. I recently made it to the level where I can go on running for 6 miles without dying, and I've found the "mythical" zone thing. Where you don't think about anything and just keep going. Your can feel your body working and it's pretty much great. I've even read "born to run" and told my wife that I want Vibram five fingers for my birthday. (Yes, we just tell each other what we want)
Anyway, I was thinking too much and couldn't find the zone. My mother is dying of heart disease and some issues with heart valves - and since there is some heredity in that, I do some freak out runs sometimes when I've had too many lazy days in a row. And on those runs I think.
And the topic of todays run
(which I have no control over, they just pop up) was aging. My birthday is coming up and I'm turning 36. And it doesn't freak me out at all. Hell, it's FOUR long years before I turn 40. And what's 40? Nothing. Even if I die young I still have 20-25 years after that. Or, I could fall on the ice this winter and die of course.
Then I started thinking about how it felt when I turned 20, 25 and 30. And I realized that I freaked out the most when I turned 20. I was a sports guy from 10 to 18 when my ACL stopped my "career" and interest.
So at that age I had no clue and I felt like I had to do something with my life. Of course I didn't, and when I turned 25 I freaked out again. This time I unfucked my life to a degree - managed to finish a worthless degree and found the woman in my life. We grew together and started doing entrepreneurial things, I became a minimalist, saved money etc.
At 30 I didn't freak out that much. We were doing pretty good and it seemed like 25 was ages ago. 35 was pretty much the same. Now we had a kid, and even though the years go by pretty fast - I'm much more content.
AND, more importantly, I have some perspective. What I realized on my jogging trip, and bear with me, this was a realization for me and maybe not by you. I'm not the most reflected person around. Why did I feel like life was rushing and leaving me in the dust at 20, while at 36 I'm much more relaxed?
Looking into the future is pretty damn impossible
I realized. At 20 you can't imagine how long life actually is. At 35 you think 20 years back (to when you were 15) and you realize that's a lifetime ago. Then fast forward to 55 (which isn't that old) and you realize that's going to take a LOOOONG time. When you're young you haven't experienced a lot of years, so you have no concept about how freking long life is. Duh! I wish I knew that at 20.. I wish someone grabbed my collar, stared me into my eyes and said;
"Hey, f---face. You are f----g Y.O.U.N.G! Don't rush life. Chill the f---k out. Have more fun. Be more crazy. Do more s--t. It's not too late to do anything at 25, you moron"
Hey, maybe if you're 25 and stressed out about life - read that speech one more time :)
Then I started thinking about getting really old
and (again, this could be very obvious to those who have thought about it and totally lol-able) came to the realization that just because old people today listen to grammophone records and eat weird candy and just stare into the wall, doesn't mean I have to! Old people today who were teens in the 50's have so different old age-lives than my generation will have.
When I turn 70 or 75 I can play all the computer games I always wanted to play, but don't have the time to. I can watch tv-shows, I can trade cryptos, I can steem about old-people stuff to other old farts. Hell, maybe I can pop lots of pills to keep me alive for decades. What do we know really? I can hang out on a beach in Indonesia and get daily massages. If I get physical problems, back problems etc I can most likely plug myself into the most awesome VR computer games imaginable. And with a little bit of luck I can be this guy at 90
And since I'm a techno positivist, I believe there are a decent odds that I can live forever. Maybe as a cyborg, maybe as a total moron in a good body, or as 100% myself inside a computer.