Resilience, or our ability to bounce back quickly, is an art.
That's my perspective and I'm sticking to it.
Not too long ago, I realized one of my gifts is to pass on "resilience" as an art form. Before I dive into solutions, I need to share a little about me. Like some of you, I was born with deep compassion for all life. But, I didn't always practice compassion towards myself. I was programmed to view my life in terms of my inadequacies instead of my strengths at a very young age.
I was also pigeon-holed as a "good girl." A role I disliked, but it was simply conditioning and training by well meaning people. Unfortunately, many still associate beauty and sensitivity with goodness. Not usually a smart idea. I learned to use my beauty and my charm to get away with a lot of crazy stuff very early on. I also learned to suppress aspects of my wholeness too. This caused senseless "inner violence" or torment for years. Resilience became my teacher.
For several decades, I kept FN myself up. My Emi (Yoruba for the breath of life) was slowly being sucked out of me. What was worst, I was the one doing it to myself. While deceptively small in stature, my Soul is huge. Soul turned into passion creates suffering. Soul expressed in the flow is grace. I did a lot of suffering until I finally got it.
Through the process of re-evolving, I became tough skinned, pretty hard-core and developed a few sharp teeth to keep myself from killing myself. Where am I going with this?
I've learned why pain is often an opportunity for reaching greater depths. I learned pain and suffering are not the same. I also learned all pain is self-inflicted at its core. Lastly resilience and pain are deeply amorous partners. They work in tandem. You don't have to agree with this one. Life is the best teacher for this knowledge. At the root of all, lies our own inadequacies, fear, and other demons. They come up periodically to realign us with our Soul's purpose. It may help to gain greater appreciation for the word pain. We are less likely to act emotionally about it. Take a look.
PAIN Noun (Online oxford dictionary)
- physical suffering or discomfort caused by illness or injury:
- careful effort; great care or trouble
Etymology - from PIE *kwei- "to pay, atone, compensate"
I learn to build greater tolerance, a key component of resilience. I learned how show up in this world authentically and to embrace my own inner cult(ure). Our "pain" and our grace are both vital parts of life. Also known as severity and grace, two pillars on the tree of life. When we experience our lessons deeply (embrace it), then let go of it fully, we build resilience. It's a dance and our eternal dance partner is our Soul. It is holding onto pain that causes suffering. By learning to yield to our Soul we all become better dancers. We learn to take the middle path, more often.
3 tips for building resilience by your priestess with the most'ess:
#1 - Don't take anything personally. EVER. Thanks to one of the best books I ever read, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, I've embraced this thought form in all of my living cells.
#2 - Remember everything is temporary. ALWAYS. Bad days don't last forever. Neither does good days. I've been through enough cycles of "bad and good days" that I've become an observer in my own life. Own your spiritual revolution.
#3 - Love yourself unconditionally. Unconditional love is deep connection and integration; it's love without resistance. Notice, I didn't say acceptance or approval. Loving without resistance. Like everything in this polarized realm what we call "love" shows up from multiple perspectives. Often our resistance protects us from ourselves. Loving yourself without the need to protect yourself from you will blow your mind :-). Just the programmed mind, not our universal mind.
Yes, you will still have to work on yourself, improve your personality and build a better character. But these three things will support you.
*I sense I need to say, there's a whole lot more to this, but long articles can have low readership. HA! So connect with me if you need more.
That's it for now. Thanks for reading. I really appreciate it. Tell me what you think. What's your thought on resilience? What's your thoughts on this article? :-) Follow, comment, or just rub me my genie lamp with a upvote.
N'Spirit!