Growing your hair long sounds like a pretty simple thing to do... you just, kinda, don't get it cut...right? That's what I thought, too. But over the last two years, I've learned something new -- and it's not just about hair growth: It’s about patience, people, effort and respect.
When I decided to grow my hair long about two years ago, it was an entirely new idea for me. I never really liked the idea of long hair, and I never really saw anyone who had long hair and thought, “Wow, that’s amazing”. I don’t know exactly what made me change my mind and decide to give it a go – maybe it was that I wasn’t in school anymore and I could actually attempt it without severe bullying, from teachers and students. Maybe it was that I had just quit my job which was a harsh, strict and physically stressful environment to be in. Or maybe it was a combination of the two, and I just needed a change. Whatever it was, it set me on a life-changing journey (seriously) because I learned a lot and I’d like to share a few of those things with you guys.
WHEN YOU CHANGE, THE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE CHANGE
When you spend your whole life doing one thing and all-of-a-sudden, without any warning, start changing how you do things, people start to notice. The people in my life who started noticing right away were my family, of course.
My hair was getting messy. I combed my hair every day and I washed it every couple of days, and yet my hair was wavy and oily. It felt and looked like I was wearing a dead animal on my head. Whenever I visited my mother after I started growing my hair out, she would always tell me that long hair doesn’t suit me; how my hair type wasn’t the right type to grow long. She told me constantly how oily it is, how wavy it is and how I couldn’t possibly be serious about sticking with it. She basically explained to me every time I saw her that what I was doing wasn’t going to work out and that I should save myself the trouble and cut it now, before I really even started.
Of course, I knew that my hair wasn’t looking good. But I did the best I could to look after it. Combing and washing it regularly wasn’t working out. But if other people could manage to grow long hair, why couldn’t I? So I ignored the people who questioned my decision to grow it and their suggestions that I cut it. I was sticking with my decision –
Even if it did look like this:
As time went on, I was bothered with questions about my hair. I was constantly asked questions along the lines of, “when are you going to cut your hair?” which I didn’t like one bit. When they asked this question, they completely disregarded my choices and told me that they expect me to cut it eventually, and soon – if they had their way. It was rude, honestly, and it got annoying. I ignored that too, after a while.
THE BUN
In my efforts to try and make my hair look better, I started to experiment with tying it up. I’d looked up best ways to tie your hair if it was getting too bothersome having it down. The best option by far was the ‘bun’. This involved started to make a ponytail and then just folding it on itself and tying it in place, pretty much. It took a little while to get my hair length long enough to tie it, but I was eventually able to do it. It was very primitive and it didn’t look great, but I was trying. I kept it tied like this in cases where letting it down made it look worse. Here’s the photo:
ESSENTIAL OILS IN YOUR HAIR
It was around this stage when I learned of something new that completely shifted my attitude about my hair, because I was starting to dislike it. I was researching how to better care for hair and came across the usage of Coconut Oil. I was curious and researched it deeply to find out exactly how it could help me. So glad I did because it fixed many of my problems that occurred on the hair growth journey.
I got my hands on a jar of it and I combed it through my hair after every time I had a shower. The effect it had on my hair really surprised me.
When you wash your hair, you are washing out all of the dirt in your hair, but you’re also washing out all of your oils. Hair thrives on that oil. In order to keep it alive and healthy, the body over-compensates for that loss of oil by producing way too much of it – so much so that the hair starts to look overly-shiny, unclean and becomes gross. You could feel the oils on your fingers when you put your fingers through your hair. What the Coconut Oil did was replaced the oils in your hair, successfully convincing the body that it doesn’t need to produce much oil. If you put it in the hair right after the shower, like I did, you get the most benefit.
As a result of doing this with the Coconut Oil, I had the right oil levels and my hair started to look better overall – it flowed over my head easier and was looking and feeling much healthier. I cannot recommend the usage of Coconut Oil highly enough for the beginning stages in hair growth. Look what it did for me:
HAIR TOOLS, DO I USE THEM? SHOULD YOU?
I was at the shops one day and noticed that I could get a hair straightener for a very reasonable cost. I’d looked at possibly getting one before but I hadn’t convinced myself that it was worth it. I’d read a lot about them, and how some people tend to avoid them – convinced that the usage of hair straighteners break your hair by overheating it. I’d known women who straightened their hair regularly and their hair looked fine. It was my sister who convinced me in the end that it was definitely worth using. So I bought the hair straightener and gave it a go, with the heat on its lowest setting (still very cautious at this point).
It was absolutely amazing. I couldn’t believe the result. My hair was starting to look really nice and I was starting to feel more comfortable with my hair. The best result, however, was how it made it possible to wear my hair in a bun and have it look decent. When I straightened my hair, my hair length was much better suited for a bun.
BED HAIR & BAD HAIR DAYS
One of the biggest problems with growing my hair long was the times when my hair looked absolutely terrible, which was usually after I had woken up. Even brushing it (upgraded from a comb to a brush) didn’t really help a great deal. Those are the toughest days to have long hair because there aren’t a huge amount of solutions you can put into practice. I found that wearing it in a bun was the perfect solution when you just really could not be bothered spending a lot of time in front of the mirror trying to sort it out. But, I realised from that point on that you will have bad hair days. You will have days when you’re disappointed with the look of your hair, but the best thing you can do is allow it to motivate you to find better things to do with it, and also to make you grateful for the days when it’s working out really well for you.
SLEEPING WITH LONG HAIR
Another obstacle I had to overcome is deciding how to sleep with my long hair. When you wear it down, you risk lying on your hair and having it pulled and yanked when you lift your head. I spoke to many people with long hair asking for their solutions to that problem. A small handful said that they braided it or tied it into a high bun in order to keep it neat and out of the way. But the majority of the people I spoke to told me to just allow my hair to flow over the top of the pillow and just flick the hair out of the way when you roll over. With personal experimentation, I found that having my hair down really did work out the best way – especially as it gets longer. The problem with the braid is that it’s very difficult to do by yourself and can be harder to find someone else to do it for you every night. With the bun, your hair can feel stiff and uncomfortable in the morning when you de-bun your hair. With the free-flow, you may occasionally tug on your hair, but you’ll mostly feel comfortable with it throughout the night and in the morning. If it’s summer and it’s very hot in bed and you need a fan, you may want to tie it into a bun or ponytail (depending on the length) for those nights. Otherwise you risk suffocating on your own hair when it inevitably blows into your face throughout the night.
STAY STRONG AND REMEMBER…
… you will eventually get to the point where your hair is looking absolutely fantastic. It flows nicely, it feels good, and it looks great tied up also. You have to remember while you grow your hair, no matter how bad it seems at the time. I found it useful to post my images online to get public feedback. I spend a lot of my time on the r/FierceFlow sub-reddit getting feedback and inspiration. Though, you could do that with Steemit also. I sure will.
Finally, the best things I learned while growing my hair was
Patience: results come if you let them. Sometimes you need to wait for the best results.
People: Not everyone will support your choices. Listen to them, but ultimately make your own choice in the end. They’re not always right. People like my hair now that I’ve finished my journey to long hair, even though I’m far from done growing it – I’m just happy with it now.
Effort: Put some effort in. Spend a decent amount of time learning from others and giving it a go. It may cost you a few dollars but try something new and see how it works for you.
Respect: I learned to respect the choices people make. Especially with personal appearance and grooming. I never pick on anyone for how they choose to have their hair, short or long, as long as they are doing the best they can. Not everyone is at the point where they are able to do the best that can be done.
It’s been two years now, and I’m happy with my hair – and so is everyone else in my life. Here’s how it turned out:
Flowing #1
Flowing #2
Tied Back [Ponytail]
Tied Back [Front]
Bun
Thanks for reading! Feel free to ask me anything. For tips, tricks, techniques --anything.