Would you like to know why I quit making video courses to start the Jerry Banfield Show because it's how change can take place in your life?
The First Jerry Banfield Show - I Quit!
I felt so good since I made the decision to clear out everything in my studio.
I've had so many good days, I consistently was having a lot of anxiety come up. In fact, I felt like when I was filming videos in my studio, the whole rest of my life was all about lifting me up, so that I could get sucked dry in the studio.
If you would like to read the previous blog post, click here.
Then, I'd go in there and grind out 8 or 10 videos about the MailChimp email marketing software for three hours and just come out of there thinking, "Oh, what I just did is nasty. I don't really want to make a course about MailChimp. But according to my calculation, this will make the most money. So, I'm going to teach MailChimp."
I have a lot of entrepreneurs who asked me, "Well, what should I do?"
What I'm getting some clarity on is to do something where there's no other option.
Online, there are so many people doing so many courses and so many videos. There are options. You can watch almost anything you can think of, somebody already made it for you online.
With this show, I'm truly offering something where there's not another option. There's no other things similar to this you could have gone to at one o'clock today.
Now, I'm hoping this will encourage and help more people develop things, but I'm seeing the biggest place I can give my value is to go from nothing to something, because I don't have to worry that much about how good I talk up here. There's nobody else you can go listen to.
I mean, if you want an uplifting event, if you want to do something in person and meet some new people, this is it right now, at least on this day in this area, and that's where I'm able to offer a lot of value.
That is a beautiful thing. My life looks like a miracle, and sometimes I'm afraid that I've actually died and this is heaven or maybe it's hell.
Can I share a personal story with you?
I've already gotten pretty personal, but this is going to go even farther.
Eleven years ago, I could not stand my life so much that I was obsessed with ending it. I could not imagine a future like this. I was in such a dark place, I couldn't comprehend all things would ever feel good in my life again, let alone what they'd look like.
I remember calling my dad, I'm saying, "Dad, I can't do this anymore."
I remember several nights getting to the point where I nearly ended things, and many of those nights were drinking. I go to Alcoholics Anonymous every day, I have been sober six years, and that has been essential to getting out of that place.
But in 2009, I couldn't imagine a life like this. I was a police officer. I was a police officer and all I could see was a police officer. All I could see was trying to get promoted to corporal. I couldn't even see a life outside of what I was doing. I could hardly even bring the picture into my mind.
Thankfully, I got so crazy that the department encouraged me, they sat me down, they took all my weapons off and it felt like being arrested.
I was on duty and they called me up to the station. I had just made a big arrest that day. I had found a guy that they'd been looking for and I went the extra mile, and I got him. I thought I was getting congratulated.
They said, "Come on up to headquarters."
I thought, "I'm going to get a medal or something right now."
I parked my car out in front of the station because I thought I'd receive the medal, and then I can go back on duty.
They all came swarming. People came out of the front doors and behind me, they took all my weapons off. I had lots of them on too. They sat me down and they gave me this list of stuff that I had done mostly while drinking off duty, but that I had managed to bring into work with a little office romance.
I remember making the decision as I was doing a burglary report, and up until this point for four years, I had worked hard to get to this exact point. I wanted to be a police officer at this department and had great pay, it was an awesome place to work.
I'd worked really hard for four years and I was in my dream, I was in my goal. For some reason I saw these two paths.
Path one, you're a superstar. Everybody loves you at work. You're already getting trained to be corporal, even though you've barely been there for a year. You're going to do great at this department.
Path two, there's this one of your coworkers. This is real fine. I mean, she is like a model, "You can get with her."
I'm like, "Hmm, I'm really bored with this job right now. That sounds like fun. I will take the coworker option for number choice two."
Then I realized that was going to take my career down the drain. I was going to bring a lot of bad energy and that's exactly what happened. As soon as I made the decision, everything lined up for me to get with her and everything that went good at work started going out the window.
That drove me to the lowest, one of the lowest points I've ever been in my life. As that unfolded, I got to where I couldn't stand to live anymore and started just going insane off duty.
My dad didn't think I'd lived through another night shift.
He came and tried to rescue me before, but as soon as he left, I was right back at it, getting drunk and going out on the town. I got a badge and a gun and I was drunk and "Ooh, look out."
Right two days before my last day shift, they called me into the department, took all my stuff and they said, "Here are these things you've done."
Many of which I thought I'd got away with, and they hadn't even said anything about them. These were complaints and things I'd done off-duty drinking.
They asked, "Now, what are we going to do about this?"
I said, "Well, I'll just quit."
They're like, "Good. That makes it easy for everyone. It's a lot easier than having to fire you. If we had to fire you that'd be complicated. You might even have to go to jail. If you quit, this will just be easy."
I had disobeyed orders to stop talking with the coworker because when I drank, "Hey, I don't care about anything."
The day after that, I had been dreading losing that job for a year. Even after I'd made that decision like it's not that important. I've been dreading losing that job because I couldn't imagine what my life would be like afterwards.
The day after I lost that job was one of the most relieved days I felt in my whole life, like the weight of the world fell off me. No more court cases to think about, no more work drama. I don't even have to show up for work. I don't even have a job anymore.
This is great. I can do what I want to, all day every day.
I love you.
You’re awesome.
I appreciate the chance to serve you today and I will see you again soon.
Love,
Jerry Banfield
Edits from video transcript by Michel Gerard.
Posted from my blog with SteemPress : https://jerrybanfield.com/i-quit/