Hi Steemit Community!
This will be my first ever post here and I would like to introduce myself. , in the family, I was treated just like a prince since I was delivered ten years after my fifth sibling was born. When I started to study I showed them how good I am in school. As I take my steps and move forward towards my studies they expected me to become more achiever to the point that some of my batches being compared to me...that's when my insecurities start. I want to prove I may not be the best but at least I'm one of the top.
When I went to college, I chose bachelor of science in mathematics, the course I pursued. Why math? because that's the only subject I found interesting among the others (not thinking what would it be like in the future). one of its curriculum is basic programming where we used c++ as the language. At first, I considered it as one of the most terrible subject. I know nothing about computers! even afraid of touching its keyboard that I might damage it! so how the heck am i gonna survive this subject?! Good thing that my boyfriend is a ComSci student and he taught me...I was amazed how people can interact/communicate with computer using this language..realized that computer may be more intelligent compared to an average human but we are still dominant because we are the only one who can give and create the rules...I really enjoyed it! in return, I got a good grade for this subject.
In contrary, almost failing grades for my major subjects. I never thought that it would be that hard. Having bad grades was the reason why i was kicked in my scholarships..I was down and upset..how I could be such a failure?!
I'm thinking to quit and shift to other course but that would take additional two years..which my parents can no longer support my financial needs. And decided, whether I like it or not, I have to finish it.
Life would never really good to me. October 2012 when my father got his early retirement from his job and before the year ends, my Mom got stroke..how miserable life can be? I don't know what to do. I'm tired of everything..but as I stared to my Mom, I realized that my life must still go on and should struggle even more instead..for her..because I love her so much..I still have the promise to be made, to be her only child who will finish my studies..because among the siblings, no one of us still have the paper proving of being profession
Finally, I may not be included who graduated on time, yet, I can still be part of the ceremony wherein I can take my steps on stage and call my name written on a paper; proof that I survived and finished my course! Hooray!
I got my first job where I took my OJT (on the job training). My salary was not that good but not bad at all, thinking that it would help a lot. It may not provide everything we need, but at least it can provide our needs and sustain some of the medical needs of my Mom. I'm glad that I can help.
Life still tough on me, 31st July 2014, when my got her second attack, and this time is the toughest one...when I saw her, I told God, "If this would be the right time for her, please be it. I don't wanna let her suffer more". after five days of being comatose in ICU, she left us.
We need to be strong and console each other. Despite of what had happened, we still thanked God for those people He used as instruments who helped us along in the way of our journey...who support us not only emotionally but also financially, her medical needs.
This is my first time to share my life because im afraid to receive criticsm or let someone knows the negative part of me, but then I realize I'm not the only person in this whole wide world who has experienced those problems. At least, I have the guts now to impart my story. And I know that whatever problem that will come in my way, I know God is always there...my past made me stronger and definitely have the courage to overcome and cope whatever it would take.
Thanks for your time. Thanks Steemit guys
God bless!