Hi, I'm Rocky Romano, I'm 64, I've been through a lot of shit, some fun, some not so much. I once married a professional dominatrix, that didn't work out so next time I married a stripper. Surprisingly, that came to a bad end too. I fell in love with a Tijuana hooker and spent 11 days in jail with her, (not the same cell), I'll tell you more about that later. I'm barred from Canada and Mexico but really I'm a very nice guy, I've been a best man 9 times for 5 different guys so I know I'm a good friend.
I'm sorry to say my dick is pretty small. When my first girlfriend left me, she told me, "Rocky, I'm leaving you for one reason, and one reason alone, your dick is too small." I told her, "Size doesn't matter, it's how you use it!" she said, "Okay, well in that case, I'm leaving you for TWO reasons."
A hooker in Vietnam once asked me why my dick was so small, Vietnam!. I wouldn't have minded so much if I was in Africa. One time after I took off my pants, a girl asked me, "Who do you expect to satisfy with that thing?" I told her, "Me".
Well, enough jokes about my dick for now. I've had a lot of fun and a lot of problems with it, mostly with hookers and strippers. I've probably went down on 200 of them in my life, I just seem to get carried away with things when I've had a few drinks, (and by "a few" I mean about 20, I'm a recovering alcoholic). I'm not bragging about dating hookers and strippers, the reason I did is because I'm not great looking and I have a very difficult time talking to normal women, I usually just stutter and say moronic things, I'm not good under pressure. With hookers and strippers, I basically pay them to get to know me and after a while of talking to me, me giving them lots of money, and me giving them world class pussy lickings. we would start dating. But that's all behind me now, I'm happily married to a beautiful 30 year old woman, (not a hooker or a stripper, but a nurse! Perfect for an old sick fuck like me!) I love her with all my heart and she loves me too, I'll tell you how I did that and how you can do it too, without being handsome, glib or rich, if you're a guy with relationship problems, I'm going to give you a solution. This isn't a sales pitch by the way, I'll just tell how to do it in an upcoming blog!
I've been playing poker for a living for the last 30 years and it's been a real roller coaster ride, I sure wouldn't recommend it to anyone I liked. I've been broke more times than the 10 Commandments. When I do have money, I usually blow it with gusto. One time I won 35K in a poker tournament in Los Angeles, by the time I got back home to Vegas at the end of the week, I didn't have a cent of it, plus I blew the 5K I went there with, 40K in a week. I figure I spent about $39,000 of it on strippers, booze and coke, the rest I just frittered away. When I went back to L.A a month later, I went into this topless bar I liked and one of the strippers told me I owed her 500 dollars for lap dances she gave me on credit, of course I couldn't remember, I told her, "Are you kidding?!? I blew at least 20K in this place last week, mostly on you!" She said, "That's why I trusted you, I don't give lap dances on credit to just anyone!!" Hmm, credit from strippers in a topless bar, that might come in handy, I guess I should be proud, I paid her. They say, "A fool and his money are soon partying.”
That's me. I know these are jokes, but for me they are real life. :)
