This is directly from one of my written journal entries (with some edits for formatting, spelling and grammar). Might as well start with a proper and in depth intro. But first a picture of me!
I chose this picture, because
1) I can't stand pictures I pose for. I like the pictures that are taken without me noticing.
2) I'm laughing. It was the type of laughter that comes from some where very deep. It came from being vulnerable and having my worries washed away.
So who am I?
So lets try identity labels: Mexican, male, 20+ years old, college student, experimental physicist, asexual, part-time: sociologist, engineer, and computer scientist, and advisor.
All things considered, the more I think about these labels, the more inadequate they become. I could rattle off a bunch more but in the end, none of these labels really capture who I am. They are like movie or book genres to me. They maybe give an idea of what I'm about, but they have no real information about my story. So, rather than labels, let's try ideas.
A juxtaposition between logic and emotion, between Classics and Romance
This is pretty hard to articulate, but stay with me. I have always been very good at and fond of the maths and sciences. Logic and evidence are paramount to me. They have served as my compass in navigating ambiguous situations and complicated problems. However, I learned young that emotions, particularly my own, were hard to separate from logic. Often the two are presented as a dichotomy, yet I wonder if they are really opposites. How often have my logical conclusions been dependent on an emotional state or visa-versa? Is logic, in fact, a more complicated emotional state? Is it absurd to live only in one and exclude the other? Is it a contradiction to live in both? Why? How does it feel? When these ideas manifest in my personality, they come out as someone who is clearly emotional but lacks the impulsivity. A person that, although very measured, deliberate, and calculating, really enjoys connecting and empathizing with others. Someone who cares, but isn't necessarily nice. Emotionally distant, but not emotionally inept.
A reflection of you
As mentioned before, I empathize strongly with others. It's important for me to try and understand why someone is a certain way. I am aware of the difficulty of such a task, but the rewards are often worth way more than the costs. I like looking deep within someone. I take in what it is like to be in another's situation and ask questions (directly or indirectly) to confirm or invalidate my suspicions. All this to make the unknown, known to the other. To reflect who they are in my personality or in conversation. Of course, not everyone appreciates this, so I really only bring things out when the other person seeks to improve themselves. However, my experience tells me that more often than not, people wish to become better versions of themselves. I am perfectly willing to help them along the way.
PC: Open
I don't bring many assumptions or expectations with me. Some of this is emotional baggage, but mostly it has been to my benefit and the benefit of those around me to listen. Rather than always trying to find rhyme and reason, sometimes taking a step back, and letting things in is all that's needed to develop an understanding. It can be incredibly hard to see the big picture when you get caught up in the details. This also brings some amount of very needed humility in my life. Often, I can get really caught up in my own ego. Bringing different experiences, thoughts, and people into my life help to suppress it. It also just makes life seem way more lucid and awesome!
The End
Well, serious props to anyone that stuck around this long. I appreciate it :D I'll post again soon enough.