"When things go wrong, this is what you do. Make good art."
Neil Gaiman
I've always loved this quote. On more than one occasion, I've had the feeling that I wouldn't have made it if it wasn't for art in my life. Too many things going wrong. Growing up with too many struggles, too many separations, too much trauma. Perhaps you know what I mean.
So, this being my first post here on Steemit, I've decided to talk about art, which is something very dear to my heart. But not drawing and painting just yet (that will come later, for those interested in tips and techniques). What I'd like to talk about here is that thing that makes art possible in our lives. And that's where most people get it wrong.
Cause it's not talent.
It's a vow.
Let me explain.
My father always wanted to be a musician, to play the piano but never got to do it. Once he told me about the time when he told my grandfather he wanted to be a musician. He was 6. And my grandfather told him that "pianos are for faggots!", and that he should "forget this nonsense and toughen up". He never got to play it. Instead, he became an engineer. Nothing wrong with that, except for the fact that it was not his calling. But worst of all, he did toughen up. And that's when the artist inside of him started to die. And now he's really dead.
So, let me say this straight because I too have tried to follow this dreadful advice. And it almost killed the artist inside of me too. And perhaps I would also be dead by now.
Drawing, painting or playing an instrument are just the visible part of art. On the inside, there's something else going on: a battle between remaining sensitive vs. hardening up. On one side, the world says "toughen up". Or the other, our hearts need to sing and dance and remain open, soft, and not just beat, bang and clock in mindlessly.
And even though my father tried hard to teach me this lesson, to toughen up, I failed. And even though I've tried really, really hard - and it was the most miserable time of my life - I failed. And I wish he'd failed at it too. Because if you really learn it, live it day in and day out, and start to believe in it, it will kill you too. Either slowly - of boredom, lack of connection, loneliness, depression - or with one quick blow. Either way, the price is just too high.
I know what you're thinking.
Sometimes life is just hard, and we must endure the storm. It's true. But that's precisely the reason why we must regain our softness, remain malleable. Reset. Cause other storms will come. And if we've become hard, we'll just break. Or we'll be carrying storms inside of us wherever we go. And that's just not the way.
So, what's the solution?
Don't keep any storm inside of you. Let it out by going in. Feel it. Whatever is there to be felt, feel it. That's the only way it'll leave your system.
And even if you need to use certain masks when you're out there, in the world, that's ok. But please take them out when you're by yourself. That's the true art of life. Of being with ourselves, soft, naked, without masks. And it all begins with honoring our feelings.
That's the prerequisite to art. And that's the vow I was talking about.
Since my father's death, I've made this vow. To honor my feelings. Everyday. Moment by moment. To give space to my heart. I've cried many, many times. And I've discovered that there's lightness on the other side of sadness. There's joy. There's peace. There's art. And there's renewed strength. And I wish I could show him that. Help him find it too.
But this is not something I can give you. Only you can.
So please, give yourself this gift. Make this vow now. To never abandon your heart, your sensitivity. To never turn your back on your feelings. That's the first step towards any kind of art.
And remember this: there's no substitute for feeling our feelings. Feeling is the evidence of healing. And healing is the greatest of all arts. The one that turns any activity, even the most mundane, into art that will make you fly.
That's what Neil Gaiman was talking about, and that's what I've been doing. Feeling a lot, remembering my father a lot, spending time with my own kids, laughing, crying, playing, loving. And healing.
And, of course, drawing and painting a lot. Mostly animals. Mother Nature.
That's what I'll be posting in here mostly. My paintings and my journey - of healing, art, Nature and reconnecting with myself.
And perhaps you will find yourself down the same path too.
J.P.