Introductions, the 90s Way.

A photo with today's date? Since (to my knowledge) no ransom money has been demanded from the Steemit community for my release, I will not be providing such "proof of life". If anyone reads this at all, and then decides that a prostitute robot from the future might be impersonating me, that person can alert the authorities.

Having met my husband on MySpace, I can think of no better way to introduce myself than with a tried-and-true survey.

1. Last beverage:
   Ginger & Cacao Hot Cocoa

2. Last phone call:
   Last night, my husband. The 2001 Camry died at the antique mall.

3. Last song you listened to:
   S U R V I V E - RR7349 (album)

4. Last time you cried:
   Emetophobia exposure therapy.

5. Have you lost someone special:
   In 2013 we lost my cat, Cyril, for six weeks before trapping him in a humane trap. I'm blessed every day to have him back.

6. What are your three favorite colors:
   Green, Burgundy, Gold.

7. Met someone who changed you in the past month:
   I don’t meet people.

8. Kissed anyone on your friends list:
   What is this "list" you speak of?

9. How many kids do you want:
   I'm 36, the time has passed.

10. Do you want any pets:
    Three cats are enough.

11. What did you do for your last birthday:
    My husband gave me a blue carnival glass butter dish with a bird on the lid.

12. What time did you wake up today:
    5:07AM

13. Name something you CANNOT wait for:
    Come, Lord Jesus.

14. Last time you saw your mother:
    October.

15. Most visited webpage:
    Pinterest

1. Relationship status:
   Married.

1. Male or female:
   Are these the only choices? How oppressive! I'm triggered!

2. Do you have a crush on someone:
   Captain VonTrapp.

3. Piercings:
   My heart.

4. Strong or Weak:
   Weak.

FIRSTS

1. First surgery:
   Wisdom teeth removal.

1. First sport you joined:
   Volleyball.

2. First vacation:
   Cedar Point, in utero.

3. First school:
   St. Paul Lutheran.

4. First pair of trainers:
   Little blue Kangaroos.

WHICH IS BETTER

1. Lips or eyes:
   I've never tried either. I prefer chicken hearts and liver pate.

HAVE YOU EVER

1. Moved out of town:
   Michigan to Missouri.

BELIEVE IN

1. Miracles:
   Yes.

2. Love at first sight:
   No.

3. Heaven:
   Yes.

4. Angels:
   Yes.

5. Yourself:
   That would be contrary to my theology.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY

1. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?:
   At least the 1950s.

2. Are you afraid of falling in love:
   I freely chose to jump down that well 12 years ago.

1. Who did you last say “i love you” to?
   My cat.

2. Have you ever been depressed?
   Yes.

3. Are you insecure?
   Yes.

4. How do you want to die?
   I want Christ to return before I die.

5. Twirl or cut your spaghetti?
   I don't eat processed grain products.

6. Do you tan a lot?
   I try to get as much Vitamin D as I can, but Missouri weather makes it difficult.

7. Ever eaten food in a car while someone or you are driving?
   Uncouth savagery.

8. Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
   Summer, 1986. Shucking corn at the picnic table with my dad, listening to Motown on the radio.

9. What are your plans for this weekend?
   Laundry, church, Chinese food, Netflix.

10. Do you type fast?
    Quite.

11. Can you spell well?
    W-E-L-L

82: What are you craving right now?
A neck massage.

1. Would you live with someone without marrying them?
   No.

2. What’s irritating you right now?
   My job.

3. Milk chocolate or white chocolate?
   Dark chocolate or raw cacao.

4. Do you have trust issues?
   I barely trust God.

5. Have you ever walked outside in your PJs?
   How does one earn a B.A. without doing so?

6. Do you believe everything happens for a reason?
   Those reasons will be revealed to us in the Beatific Vision.

7. Did you have dream last night?
   Yes. I was riding my bike at night, but someone drugged and abducted me and I woke up in my bed, not remembering what had happened.

8. Do you play the Wii?
   Wii goes in the potty, I don't play with it.

9. Do you like Chinese food?
   Some of my favorites are century egg, Chan Moon Kee Preserved Bean Curd, egg tofu, and those little sesame doughnuts filled with bean paste.

10. Are you afraid of the dark?
    Yes. Sickness befalls people in the dark, home invasions occur in the dark, spiders lurk, storms pounce, and late night phone calls bring news of death.

11. Do you believe in true love?
    God is love. All true human love is a gift and reflection of him.

12. Favorite weather?
    Cloudy, humid, and 75.

13. Do you like the snow?
    No.

14. Do you like the outside?
    If the weather is comfortable.

15. Do you watch the news?
    Hell, no.

16. Have you ever seen someone you knew and purposely avoided them?
    I avoid most people I know, when I can.

17. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?
    My husband, the only person with whom I can have a deep conversation.

18. Ever gotten pregnant?
    Only in dreams.

124 Have you ever missed the bus?
Only in dreams.

1. Have you ever been overweight?
   Yes, although it seems strange now. I'm not sure I could get there if I tried.

2. Ever been in a wedding?
   Once a flower girl, once a bride, never a bridesmaid.

3. Ever kissed in the rain?
   Hell, no. My husband hates rain.

4. Did you ever fail a driver’s test?
   Only the parallel parking bit.

5. Ever been outside your home country?
   A couple trips to Canada, one semester in London.

6. Ever been on a road trip longer than 5 hours?
   My parents live 10 hours away.

7. Have you ever broken a bone?
   Yes, every time a cook a chicken.

8. Did you ever win a trophy in your life?
   Some manner of academic or musical non-athletic nerd trophy.

9. Ever get engaged?
   Yes, but no proposal or ring.

10. Ever been to prom?
    Regretfully.

11. Ever stayed up for 24 hours or more?
    Yes, but it's terrible.

149 Have you ever been to a concert?
The best two shows I've been to were Efterklang in Memphis and A Hawk and a Hacksaw in St. Louis.

1. Ever had braces?
   Yes. I think I need them back.

2. Did you ever learn another language?
   Deutsch.

1. Ever ridden in an ambulance?
   No. Lord, have mercy.

2. Ever caught the stove on fire?
   No, but I've burned through two burner covers.

3. Ever meet someone famous?
   Alan Keyes.