Discovering a betrayal of our partner is not something palatable, but sometimes it is necessary. In fact, it is much easier to make correct judgments about our partner than it may seem
Although we live in an era in which open relationships and polyamor is booming, it is true that there is a vast majority of people who still prefer the traditional monogamous couple model. Each one will have its own peculiarities, but they all share the idea that there is no greater betrayal than infidelity.
Many are the people who have not only had to go through the bad swallow of their partner's adultery, but also have been the last to find out what was happening. To live this type of situations is not usually a dish of good taste and shows us that usually does not usually meet the eyes that do not see, heart that does not feel, since before or after the truth is often uncovered.
Discovering a betrayal of our partner is not something palatable, but sometimes it is necessary. Although it may seem strange, psychology professor Gwendolyn Seydman points out in Psychology Today that five minutes may be more than enough to see if something real exists after suspected infidelity. And for this he relies on the idea that it is much easier to make correct judgments than at first sight may seem.
Naked eye
This opinion is part of an investigation in which 51 young people, who were in a relationship, had to talk about their own infidelity, if any, with the researchers. For this, the coordinators of the experiment began by asking them about the person they felt most drawn out of their relationship. Subsequently raised different issues of greater importance to reach two key moments: in the first were asked to rate their level of emotional infidelity. That is, to quantify the extent to which they were emotionally attached to that person. In the second they had to talk about their sexual infidelity and the physical level they reached.
Are the problems of infidelity related to the lack of trust between the members of the couple?
On the other hand, a member of the couple was blindfolded, between three and five minutes, and during this time the other had to guide him and give him different instructions to draw a drawing. This test was recorded and the observers had to say if they believed that there was adultery in these couples from this viewing. It may seem shocking, since at first glance there seems to be no correlation between these recordings and infidelity. However, a significant, albeit moderate, relationship was found between reality and observer responses to the following questions: what is the likelihood that interest has been taken in an alternative out of a partner? Who has flirted with another person? and what possibility is there that they have had sexual relations with a third person?
If there is suspicion, there may be something
This study may seem somewhat strange, since it raises the idea that only infidelity is necessary for observation. Faced with this approach, the research coordinators decided to take a step forward and, with new partners, conducted the same experiment, but with different questions, since the new objective was to know if the problems of infidelity are related to the lack of trust between the members, which would be translated into a greater or lesser commitment and confidence during the course of this amazing experimentation.
When you are in a relationship, personal bias can make our judgment more subjective
In this case they came back to the same conclusion: there was a correlation between reality and the opinion that the observers and reality brought. So can infidelity be seen on the basis of mere observation? Without going too deep, and in the light of the results, it may seem so, but the researchers are cautious and walk with lead feet, as they encounter several limitations. The first is that all participants are college students and it is possible that the behavior is different in couples or long-term marriages. The second is to see to what extent the level of trust influences, since when you are in a relationship personal bias can make our judgment more subjective and cloud judgment.
The nature of the study and its limitations provoke that the results obtained are only the beginning of a deeper investigation, but they do show that when we have the hunch that someone is cheating on a friend or loved one, we are probably right. Although it may not be so when this problem resides in our own relations.