Since I opened my account on Steemit weeks ago I have been fretting over what I would be sharing with the world. I procrastinated so long that last week it took me a few days to find my password again to login. And I procrastinated some more, until today.
While doing a routine attic check in my home (something that I have done numerous times before like to change a light bulb , to investigate a noise, etc..) ,something happened that a profound effect on my life , so I decided to share that experience. But more on that later.
Since I am finally making a post, let me quickly introduce myself. My name is Robin, I live in the Northeast (USA), I have two incredible children, a wonderful wife and I am on a journey. Yes, a journey. A life journey that includes a bunch of mistakes, unnecessary stress, momentous insights, some realizations and lots of love. At times I feel its all to overwhelming and other times I realize the b.s. I am creating long enough to get of glimpse of the truth. The truth being that happiness and peace is all just a shift in my perception.
I really love my family. When I sit in silence and contemplate my world, I see how fortunate I am. But.. when the daily grind, the mental gymnastics and some of the things I misplace value on get hold , I forget. I forget who and what I really am. I get lost in this imaginary fog of stuff. This is where I suffer. Until I realize what the truth of my life really is or if something happens (which jolts me to understanding this) , the suffering continues. But fortunately these periods of disillusionment are getting shorter and those instances of realizations of happiness and peace are getting more frequent. These lovely instances of love, peace and joy are holy instances. I cherish them, they bring me back to the truth.
My 40 year plus journey so far has been full: love, loss, poverty, wealth, lack, abundance, loneliness, companionship, excitement, fear (lots of fear), anxiety (even more anxiety), denying god, accepting god, seeing separation and seeing oneness.,
All this, all of it, I accept as part of my spiritual journey. The road that has led me to this point is what it is, but now I am at point where the road branches in two directions and I cannot continue on same direction that has brought me.
One road is living a life knowing that everything , I mean everything is for my highest good and that I never travel alone on this road, god is always with me. This road has me valuing only what actually has value,: love, peace and joy. They are changeless and therefore constant. Accepting all of this is my freedom.
The second road is living a life believing that I am alone, that the buck stops with me, that my highest good is not guaranteed. That my happiness is controlled by something outside of me. This road has me valuing all sort of things that change. Valuing the valueless is a prison. A prison where there seems to be no way out because what you are placing value on is constantly changing.
I have reached this fork in the road today. I must choose. Which ever one I choose I will be fine because choosing the second road will only delay my freedom. BUT today I choose.
During my routine attic check (which was an unnecessary chore I did today because of my belief in fear, lack and needing to be in control), I slipped and fell through the ceiling. For some reason, my elbow and underarm cause a support beam and I was saved from plummeting 20 feet to the hardwood floor below. My wife and children stood watching, in horror, as I narrowly escaped ,at best two broken legs and a serious concussion, as I would have hit the solid wood banisters on the way down. I came down from the attic knowing I just got lucky.
"Would I finally learn my lesson now?", I thought to myself. There are at least 100 different ways I could of fell, all leading to serious injury or death. I slipped and landed exactly the way I was supposed to. I held my family in my arms knowing what the lesson I had learned.
Today, I choose to take the branch in the road that leads to my freedom.
I am grateful. Thank you.