A few images before I get started...
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| My wife and I crewing a Tony Robbins event here in San Jose @ SAP Center. We go to quite a few of these events and love them. | My daughter and I @ Mount Herman for ziplining |
About me....
Hello, my name is Justin Balesteri, or simply Jay, I'm 39 years old, and have been many things in my lifetime, and to be honest, it keeps getting better.
I have been a furniture mover, carpenter, web developer, software engineer, and life coach. I am currently a father, husband, cancer survivor, engineer, and coach.
I do not multitask, but I do many types of tasks. It's amazing what you can achieve when you elimate the noise around you, and maintain a positive outlook. This has not always been the case, and you can read on if you care to know more. If not, thanks for your time and hope to engage at some point.
Thanks,
Jay
- Chief Engineer, Peak State Software
- Life Coach, Genuine Spark
I invite you to check out my wesbites and reach out if you believe I can provide value.
For those of you that wish to hear more, as promised, here is the story...
I preface this extended intro by saying it may have some bits that are a bummer, but I promise it ends positive...
I never had a particularly pleasant upbringing, which lead me down some bad paths in my youth. I eventually ended up state raised for most of my youth. I went through boys ranches, group homes, juvenile hall, and eventually youth authority. Somehow I managed to learn a trade while young from my dad and I was a carpenter for almost 15 years.
My youth left me with a case of complex PTSD that I tried to self medicate for years with substances and alcohol. Suffice it to say that didn't contribute much positivity, but did teach me some valuable lessons.
I am also an avid motorcyclist since about 12 and I injured my back in an accident in my late 20's, making construction no longer viable. I had gotten blessed with an introduction through a friend for a Flash Developer role for a military contractor. After a few years there, I found out that I needed to get a spinal fusion from my earlier injury. They were downsizing our office, so I went out on disability for surgery and while recovering I decided to become an actual software engineer.
I decided to find the resources online and teach myself. In a few short months I was able to teach myself to build websites and phone apps. By the way I got a GED my freshman year of high-school, and I personally have never valued traditional "education" for myself.
My family and I scraped together what we had and moved to Silicon Valley. I took a few shitty contracts to get some "on paper" experience, and those lead to better roles. However, although I do like engineering, and appreciate the good pay, I was not very happy. In fact I was angry a majority of the time and it was exasperated by my job, traffic, and pretty much everything.
For a few years I was feeling run down and just not well. I found out almost 4 years later that I had cancer that whole time. When they found the cancer it had progressed significantly. I went through treatment, consisting of several rounds of chemo and surgery, and I beat that shit!
Through all of the PTSD, surgeries, cancer, and everything else, the two ladies in the pictures above were in my corner. I am so grateful for having them in my life and often reflect on that when I want to feel better. After my cancer was gone, my wife went to an event in LA by herself. The event was Unleash the Power Within (Tony Robbins), and she came home on fire with positivity. I unfortunately shit all over that and was not in a good place to be around someone all happy.
I stopped talking smack about the conference and eventually apologized to her for being a jerk. She forgave me and "bamboozled" me into saying that I would attend an event in New York. I say she tricked me, but she knew that I have always wanted to visit NY, so she proposed that we go to the conference then take a holiday in the city.
I agreed and begrudgingly went to the conference. The first day I was wanting to walk out because I was having full blown anxiety attacks from the crowds. There were 13,000 people and everyone was hugging eachother, screaming and dancing. I walked out quite a few times thinking I was going to leave. On the last trip outside I ran into a veteren that was going through the same stuff. We agreed to stay the rest of the day and let our significant others come together for the rest of the conference.
When I went back in they were going through mental exercises to get into what they were calling "Peak State". I said, screw it and followed along. It started to change my mood and the anxiety started to fade. After a few hours of this we were lead outside to do a 'firewalk'. I have done the research and understand that there is science behind why you dont get burned while "firewalking", but that didn't matter. It was fact that it is so analogous to other "difficulties" in life and you just have to push through it.
I came back the remaining days and really enjoyed myself. By the time we left the event, I was sad it was over and had no issue high-fiving or hugging complete strangers. I liked the event so much that we have been going back to them every 3-4 months since. We have volunteered to "crew" the event on the last one, and I think I benefited more by serving others than I did attending.
After attending these events and helping others with issues that are relevant to my previous issues, I decided to help coach others. I now do this and engineering, with the goal of expanding my software company so I am no longer actively working and pursue coachng full time.
I have learned in the last year that we carry around so much bullshit and baggage that we really limit our capacity and achievements. We spend so much time concentrating on the negative that it doesn't take much to feel like crap. If you focus on the positive and have a little bit of gratitude, you can sustain a healthy happy life full of energy. I watch very little TV and try to spend most of my time doing something productive, yet enjoyable.
Long story short, incarceration saved my life, cancer saved my soul, and a positive attitude saved my sanity.