In 3 months, YouTube/Google de-partnered me (after deeming almost all of my content unsuitable for advertisers anyway), Amazon cut my royalties to 40% of what they had been, Vimeo deleted my entire backlog from their site because I couldn't keep paying to subscribe, Facebook refused my ad money because the show I am trying to advertise has "Shit" in the title even though the advertisement didn't, every single film festival I submitted to rejected me, some twice since I was entering two separate films, and I closed my latest business bank account this morning with a balance of negative $5.65. (Thankfully they waived the fee, since it was a fee for not having any money in the account...)
So, what's up?
I swear, I'm not a loser!
Okay, maybe I am. But I am a damn good loser. I have lost so many times... It is one of my greatest skills, in fact!
I'm a writer, director, producer, actor, and editor, primarily (ha! he said 5 things but then said "primarily"), but I also dabble in performing the tasks of the camera operator, director of photography, sound mixer, sound editor, gaffer, visual effects artist, composer, transcriber, subtitler, graphic designer, animator, casting director, production manager, production assistant, key grip, uhh... you know, this guy:
If you make movies outside of Hollywood in 2018, you might know what I'm talking about.
I'm one of those stubborn bastards. And I've been doing it for more than 16 years now.
Now, first of all, let me just be as clear as I can be early on: whether I do 100 different jobs on a single production or not, it is still never a "one-person" effort. There are always people helping me in many significant ways that cannot be understated in their value.
And beyond that, I'm not entitled to any more help than I get, when I have had and still have so little to offer in return. So, I appreciate everyone who has been around me and contributed in so many meaningful ways, and props to these people for everything they have done to get this crazy dream as far as it's gotten already. I wear these many hats willingly, without complaining (much), to get things done. What did I expect? I've lived out in Wisconsin for most of this time, not exactly a filmmaking hub.
But, yeah. Not too many faces left aboard the dream train these days...
Yet onward I push, lugging more and more coal into the furnace on this b. (Yes, apparently my dreams are still running on coal power.) (That might explain a lot.)
To date, I have made 3 feature films.
They are The Amateur Monster Movie, The Wayward Sun, and Batman & Jesus. I hope to introduce each of them to you guys in the future.
I have also produced 5 episodes so far of one mildly successful web series called "Holy Shit", as well as 40 episodes of a not-so-successful web series called "Friday Night Weekly", in addition to a handful of other short series, films, and skits over the years. I hope to introduce these to you as well.
Despite all that, I have not been all that successful. Neither in terms of audience reach, nor financial intake. And certainly not in terms of fucking film festivals goddammit $#%@%^#! Sorry...
So what keeps me going?
Why haven't I quit and officially just submitted my rectum to the state?
How do I not just melt over how pathetic I could reasonably feel about myself and wither into my rightful slug-like being of existence?
Well, it helps that I am doing what makes me happy, but masturbation only gets you so far.
I keep going because I hear from just enough people who let me know, sometimes in profound or very touching ways, to keep going. The emails, the Facebook messages and comments, the few Amazon reviews and fewer IMDb reviews, the $5 e-tips in the digital tip jars, I've even gotten things on LinkedIn. Oh yeah, also people in real life. You know, that old place, "real life". Just oozes nostalgia.
One time a college in Madison, Wisconsin invited me to show my first movie and speak to the class about independent filmmaking when I was only 22. That was pretty cool for me, a guy who dropped out of college, and many of whose friends were still in college, getting paid to deliver a lecture on how to do that thing they were in school for. Whoa.
None of these moments are in great numbers, but they remind me that there's people out there who truly believe in me, even if Facebook thinks I'm a jerk or most film festivals are beholden to assholes and their agendas.
Maybe I'm closing my bank account this morning, but I just got my fifth 5-star review in a row on Amazon this morning as well. And I might get another one tomorrow, or the next day, or the day after that. At least I know I won't be closing that bank account again tomorrow! (Well, actually, I will be, since the $5.65 has to refund overnight so I have to go back in tomorrow, but... uhh. You get my point. "There's nowhere to go from here but up," as they say...)
So, keep going, I tell myself. You can't be down if only 100 people heard you, you needed to amplify! Get out from under the heavy blanket and give it a "Yopp!"
Don't let film festivals or Facebooks or YouTubes or even Amazon (even if they are one of the only paychecks I am getting these days) solely determine who gets to see our work! YOPP!
So, I guess, as something of a digital nomad, I have found Steemit by advice of my long-time friend , and I'm hoping to start yopping it up here.
I'll share strategies on budget filmmaking from zeros of dollars to managing tens to hundreds of thousands (maybe more, if we're here long enough), techniques and stories of how I've gotten things done in spite of circumstances, and all the emotion, anecdotes, and equations I can manage for you. Maybe Steemit has even more to offer than I'm even currently aware of and I look forward to learning more about how I can use Steemit to more effectively release more of my company's work.
I've mentioned New Zealand. That's where I'm headed next for what will be without a doubt my biggest project to date. That I also hope to share many details with you as well, and I'm headed there next month to begin meeting with my prospective crew and cast. I'm looking forward to meeting them and introducing you to them as well. It will be an entirely new journey for me in a new country and it should be very exciting, and very challenging.
Here are two posts I've made so far on the direction I'm heading with my next project:
So, that's me for now. If you want to know anything more about my projects or my self, ask away. Maybe I will do a specific post about a topic if there's enough interest.
I'm very anti-censorship and anti-control and I hope to connect with like-minded people here on Steemit! Peace, love, acceptance, harmony, and constantly challenging ourselves and our ideas. Thanks guys and gals, be well!
-- Jozef