Introduce myself Steemit says. I've been dreading this post and thus avoiding getting into too much writing on here. At this time in my life I have yet to introduce myself to....well...myself. My entire life was turned upside down a couple years back when a genetic disease, which had gone undiagnosed, progressed rapidly. What is left is a very different person. So am I Stephanie Price, A woman fighting ehlers-danlos syndrome? (...and losing some days!) No, I don't believe so. The illness is only a part of the experiences of each day. Hum....so what else is there about me? I have my name, Stephanie Price buuuutt...yawn! That can't be it! Years ago I would have introduced myself by saying I was an avid animal lover and worked in the rescue and Veterinary Fields. I would have gone on about my foster fur-kids and my two adopted fur- kids Sky and Coal. I would speak about loving to go out and commune in nature, about hiking, about barn chores, about many assorted joyful tasks involving animals. I would speak of midnight drives to the ocean and how water has always been a calming force in my life. I would talk about the relationship I was in and what that meant. I would talk about wanting to have children, biological, fostered or adopted, and wanting a large family. I may have even spoken about the dream of owning and running my own holistic pet store that funded the ability to open a pet hospice where elder and ill animals could go and live out their days, loved and cared for.
But now none of the above seems relevant. And oh how I wish it still was. I'm still grieving my old life, the old me. When the illness progressed everything that made me who I thought I was disappeared. I no longer could be around the animals I loved as my body would start to crash when around them too long and without masks and copious amounts of medication. I had to let fostering go and then I had to let Sky and Coal, my furbabies, go as well. (They're in a good home, yet that home is no longer mine.). I no longer can take long drives without extreme planning. Or drive at all, depending on flares and medication needs. Hikes are a thing of the past at the current time. No more barn chores. No more children of my own. So much of what was, (and I was)has come to a screeching halt!
So who am I? I don't know. Yet there are absolutely beautiful things that come of losing one's identity. There is a space, a pause, a hesitation when someone asks me to introduce myself. That space is beautiful. That space represents possibility! And space is endless...it may be filled with anything, even with nothing. I soley grieved the life that existed before the pause became my new reality. The clouds part more and more. This new life is full of pauses, of open spaces brimming with possibility. Who am I? How do I introduce this being known as Stephanie Price? I don't know. And so I gave fear a dirty look and started writing. I became curious of the fear, of the pause, of who I am. I fill many spaces with the presence of my partner and his two beautiful children. And I just realized that for right now, the pause is enough. I am enough no matter what I've 'lost' or what I can no longer do.. Come to think of it, the experiences of these last few years have drastically changed my definition of enough. Enough is no longer a set of Standards to reach. Enough is exactly where I am, who I am, what I am, right now. Even when I feel as though I am not enough, I am enough. And I think I just figured out how to introduce myself.
Hello #Steemit! Allow me to introducemyself my name is Stephanie Price, and I am always enough. So are YOU, I would love to see you introduceyourself as enough too!
Thank you for reading!
Wishing You All There Is,
Stephanie (enough) Price :)
