My boyfriend (at that time)and I had a really healthy relationship for almost 2 years ;22 months to be exact! We graduated from university together as we basically did the same courses for our Bachelors. Everyone admired our relationship , both our friends and family and people actually thought that we would end up getting married ,sooner or later. (We were also talking about settling down together) Few months after our graduation, he had adviced me he had gotten a scholarship to further his graduate studies abroad, in Europe, for two years. I was honestly excited but couldn’t bare the thought of being far away from him for that long .So I told myself , okay , it’s just going to be two years , we can totally do this whole long distance relationship thing! And besides I was always so supportive of him and his aspirations. We can make this work , I told myself .He told me he was going to be leaving the country around the end of September and that the finalized day of his departure hadnt been confirmed yet as his tickets wasn’t sorted out then.
So this was around July when he adviced me the good news of him leaving for abroad .The last time we saw each other was on the following month ,on August 1st and then each time I wanted to meet up , he just told me he was so busy with prepararions throughout the month of August (despite me trying to find a way for us to meet and spend quality time together). Don’t get me wrong, I am a very understanding girlfriend , but with his excuses of not wanting to spend quality time with me (esp when he was leaving soon ) made me start to question our relationship. Does he still love me?… Why wouldn’t he wanna spend quality time with me ?…Is this going to work out once he leaves ? Do I really matter in his life anymore? why doesn’t he wanna meet up? What if we actually break up in this long distance relationship? Questions after questions engulfed my mind .
( By the way , it was clear that I was more in love with him in our relationship than he was with me)
Anyways so fast forward to the 3rd of September, I was sitting at work, having such a rough morning already when I received a call from him. He sounded like he was all nervous and that something was clearly up. He began apologizing to me several times without even saying why. His background sounded so busy & noisy as well. And then it hit me- he was calling from the airport !! The fricken airport !!!! He was leaving , leaving me for 2 years !!!! Can you even believe that ? I hadn’t even said my last goodbye(in person) , given my last kiss , my last hug and he had the audacity to be calling me from the airport just 15 minutes before he flew out !!! I broke down in tears as I spoke to him in the restroom at work. My mind started to run wild. I was hurt , deeply hurt and devastated,beyond devastated ! How could he do such a thing ? We only last met on August 1st that year and that was it , he was flying out without even informing me the day of his departure ! And he was going for 2 years ,2 fricken years ! Like who does that ? What kinda boyfriend even does that ?
I was crushed ! I had only seen such a thing in a movie once (I can’t recall the name of the movie though) but who would have thought that his would have happened to me! I had sent a long message right after he had left, telling him his actions were deplorable and immature. What had I done to deserve such a thing ? And his response……’’ I am deeply sorry, I had only gotten my ticket the day before my flight departure ….” And he goes on to say how much he felt so upset with this whole situation and that even his family was so devastated with everything . I didn’t wanna believe anything that came out from his mouth , I’m so sure that flight tickets are confirmed at least 1 week prior to departure and not just the day before flying out. It was so hard to accept everything that had happened. I could never understand why this happened to me , to us .
With such a good heart, I forgave him and learnt to make things work despite what we went through.We still spoke for 3 months after he left. And then somehow, it had hit me , it had hit me hard on December that year…, if he really loved me , he would have at least informed me of the issuing of his tickets one day before he flew out. I would have understood things but no, calling from the airport , just 15 minutes before flying out was how best he decided to handle the situation ! And so I ended it ….i told him I couldnt do this anymore , esp when I was still hurting . I told myself that day (after making such a hard decision ), that I WAS NEVER EVER GOING TO LET SOMEONE TREAT ME LIKE TRASH ! And that his actions spoke so loud and clear of the person he was. I broke it off while I learnt he was heartbroken after we parted ways ! I was more hurt than he was,actually !
So I couldn’t get over him for years but I knew I had made the right decision ending things with him. Its been 4 years now since this situation had happened . I have never been in a relationship ever since but I’m so proud of the woman that I have become . This whole situation had taught me so much , it made me stronger, wiser and I had grown to learn a lot of things about love and life. Time really does heal all wounds. I’m just glad that I’ve finally recovered from everything , I didn’t expect to have gotten over him for 3 years( damn i don’t think anyone has ever gotten over their exes for that long ). I haven’t seen him since and I hope I don’t bump into him one day. I’m now residing abroad pursuing my graduate studies and I’m so glad that this situation made me push myself to do my outmost best. And now that I’ve forgiven him completely and let him go , I am ready to put myself out there again into the dating world.
I just honestly hope noone has to go through what I went through ! X