Perhaps this is a fine space for the contemplative struggle I enjoyed yesterday when I realized that I really know nothing about the world that surrounds me. I can't know what someone else feels, therefor I cannot trust they even like me. I cannot know what someone else thinks to try to please them. These are just two small examples but I also realized it is the rabbit hole concept that has seized my perspective on the world going back ten years. I keep to myself as best I can. It has crippled my ability for any 'enjoyment' in life beyond difficult work which at least makes me feel productive. Life has become exhausting mentally, and now physically, as I am too old to be tormented day in and out by this mindset.