Have you ever felt like you’re totally a different person now after some period of time? Are you still trying to be that same person you used to be like? Guess what, you are not alone.
I was once a very bubbly person and I liked going the extra mile for the people I love. I like photography, poetry and music. I love spending quality time with my friends and special someone. I just used to love letting the world know how I feel about them. But things just don’t stay the same like we always wanted them to be. There will always be changes and lots of adjustments.
(This was my baby bump just few weeks before I gave birth to my first born child.)
I just went through a difficult pregnancy wherein I felt nauseous all day and all night. And my morning sickness was terrible that I had to be admitted to the hospital because I was dehydrated. And when I gave birth to my first born, last June 18, 2020, I never had a decent rest since then. It’s just so much to take in.
(When my baby was still two weeks old.)
Well, to be completely honest, I am both very happy and tired. I feel like I’m juggling these balls and constantly dropping them. I do get so many advice from friends and colleagues about how this usually goes but I believe every mothers’ experiences are different from the other. But it still helps, a lot. And I thank each and every one of them for constantly checking on me and telling me things they’ve already encountered before. It feels heart-warming to have friends like them.
I love every stage with my little one since the day I heard her heartbeat inside me. But I just, maybe somehow, wanted to feel loved and cared about. I miss doing my hair, I miss putting some preppy clothes to look cute, and I miss beer. It’s just a little unfair why men can always be themselves but women can never be the same again. And I hope that every woman has a loving partner that they can share the challenges with. Because it’s not easy and will never be.
(When she turned two months last August 18, 2020. And oh yeah, F plastic! )
Yes, we can no longer go back to what once was but we can always embrace what now is. I lost quite a few things but I gained so much more. I may no longer have the enthusiasm I used to have but I am happy because all my reserved energy is now being enjoyed by my little one. And if people would still point out that I have changed into some boring woman, I wouldn’t care that much because I know for sure that I 100% changed into a cool mom!
(On my 25th birthday last September 1, 2020)
This is actually my first post on hive.blog, I hope you find my post lovely. Thank you and may all of you have a great day.
This has been 
saying, "Every professional was once an amateur. Do not ever be discouraged of tiny improvements, because baby steps it may seem you still did move forward."
Nikka Ganzan, the author
I was destined to be a successful civil engineer but my heart belongs to literature. And if I have learnt something from the past years of struggles, it is maybe this - "Sometimes a leap of faith is what you need in order to find happiness. Because if you are not to become a happy person, then what's the purpose of life then?".
I tried working in an industry with the use of my maximum skills in my chosen field and I was earning big (bigger than what I expected), yet I was not happy. In between those times, I found deeper and stronger interest in my first and second love - writing and photography.
And so here I am, in my little corner in the blockchain. I hope you had a good read and check out more here --->