from my first book available at www.SacredWordPublishing.net
Today
Fall 2000
Today,
Falling feels like flying.
Today,
Smiling feels just like crying.
Today,
Pain feels like pleasure.
Today,
Death feels like a treasure.
I have no control;
I’ve lost myself.
My instincts feel like they’re dying.
When I try to talk,
All I hear is wind.
All my goals are defying.
I’m trying so hard.
But the pieces don’t fit.
Everyone’s around me,
But no one gives a shit.
My guiding star in the sky,
Is slowly going dead.
Now I am lost,
And my star is infrared.
Sonnet 117 (Rearranged)
Winter 2000
Although temptation will rise, my truth be down,
For now, all of everyone’s beliefs are still not found.
And beliefs will still be frozen away.
My vagrant sentiments slowly fade to gray.
All I believe I’ve seen, I’ve smelt, I’ve heard;
Hopes, to me, are dead, uncomely, nonadjacent, blurred.
Everyone’s canvas of dripping paint is harshly smearing,
I don’t want your pathos; don’t start your pity tearing.
Public allows you to believe in an unknown celestial body.
All it will do is dehydrate your haggard body.
Every sticker on every seat next to me
point forthwith at my head.
Can we possibly get ahead
if we don’t acknowledge that we are ahead?
Until the single tired sunlight comes of proof,
yours will not be mine.
However, for now, there is nothing, nothing for me to find.
Fall Like a Shadow
Spring 2001
You will never stop falling,
Even if you’re just a baby;
You will fall by crawling,
You won’t get hurt, maybe,
Because you’ll never stop going down,
Even as your lips fall into your chin,
They’ll form a never-ending frown,
It is forever, it has no end.
Shadows will forecast along the left side,
And you will be longingly sad;
There is no new place to go to and hide;
Now you realize this shadow is bad.
There’s no escape at the dawn’s settlement,
No place this darkness can’t see;
It shall only get worse with complaintment,
Take your time, and have no hurry.
Ripping the Universe
Spring 2001
Fallen stars, and fallen beams,
Ripping the universe at its seams.
Crying bodies and crying arms,
Ripping the universe by its harms.
Anguishing light and anguishing minds,
Ripping the universe as it combines.
Drowning air and drowning clouds,
Ripping the universe as it crowds.
Fiery Earth
Fall 2001
A great ball of misery is going to hit earth,
A fiery hell will mourn the sense of birth.
There will never again be,
Another one of me.
I will be gone forever until a new explosion.
And no applied science will stop this corrosion.
All of mankind will be peeled away.
And this shattered world will be even less an array.
Trapped in My Horror Dream
Fall 2001
I’m captive of my horror dream;
I need a ride back to life.
My blood is stained, so it seems,
Darkness singing, oh, hallow knife.
Everything screaming, “sinner die!”
Black on red dripping out of my skin.
Boiling tears come out, I pain cry.
It burns so harshly, but feels so keen.
I am hate, and I am sorrow.
I am the worst thing that you’ve ever seen!
I am not here; I don’t live in tomorrow.
I die alone. I died alone. I am alone.
You are darkness; you are sickness.
You are carelessness; you will never atone.
I am now bleak; you are quickness,
Now I believe nothing can fix this.
Not Quite Knowing What to Do
Fall 2001
It was like a forever day today.
So many issues filled with irony.
Hostile people everywhere,
Filling the surface of my mind.
Conceited, mindless people,
Cramping the safety I couldn’t find.
My time didn’t have an agenda to follow by,
So, I answered to all the criticism with lies.
While everything piled up,
Bunch next to bunch,
I went at it onto my victim,
Punch after punch.
No physical tangency,
No synapses involved at all,
Just emotional warfare,
Bringing my leaves to fall.
And if I sat down,
I would not know what to do,
So, I just ran away,
Trying to escape the truth.
Not quite knowing what to do,
I just slipped up,
Not caring about anything,
I just went to sleep.
It was like a forever night tonight,
So many tears brought from fright
Futile beings everywhere,
Crimping my eyes.
Troubled, infidelities in people,
Showing no surprise.
Change
Summer 2002
Changes in places.
Changes in faces.
Changes in everything.
Changes in spring.
Changes in leaves.
Changes in sleeves.
Changes in chum.
Changes in autumn.
Changes in feeling.
Changes in healing.
Changes in splinter.
Changes in winter.
Changes in emotion.
Changes in devotion.
Changes in comer.
Changes in summer.
Changes in my seasons calling out sorrow.
Changes in my days, with nothing promising me
tomorrow.
Fallen stars fall today, but tomorrow they may rise.
Guiding stars fly today,
but tomorrow they may fall from
the skies.
Distance
Spring 2002
Flaring nights can’t beam through lights,
that withhold the pressured existence.
Light speed waves couldn’t crash graves,
that are in-between our unendurable distance.
Living divinities will adapt affinities,
which will make nirvana unstable.
Moonlit skies will curiously despise,
to create the appearance of sable.
Although distance will part,
We will ripen and grow,
I’ll forever stay serene;
In your heart, I’ll lay low.
Nobody will detect that in your heart I’ll glow.
Impossibilities ne’er perish; for they didn’t years ago.
Unto your eyes can see,
What all my mind perceives,
Until all the stars die,
I’ll never let you cry.
Forever, until the sun’s light darkens,
I’ll always hold my love for you.
Flee away,
Before I say,
I’m leaving today.
I’d not depart my cradle,
Unless for ameliorating reasons,
I’d not be absent for long,
Only until the convert in seasons.
Destination, unconceivable,
Unless optimism were to arrive.
Consequences unbearable,
Until we begin to contrive.
We’re alive.
Night of Shadows
Fall 2002
A doom in the night of shadows,
Horror creeps through the air.
The full moon peaks through a cloud.
Terror is seen by souls of the wicked.
Screams from scolding spirits are heard aloud.
Evil sets in at the pinpoint of dawn.
Cries heard, tears dropped from the pupil colored sky.
The hatred of souls rain down upon a crowd.
Death races throughout the terrified minds.
All is shuddery.
All of the present is gone from the future.
All is dead,
Gone.
All is black.
Drips of Anguish
Fall 2002
A drip of water fell to the ground
Leaving a diminutive sound.
Then a drip of water fell upon my face.
Leaving a sound, no other could replace.
Resplendent it was,
Gliding so brilliantly to the asphalt.
Tickling my cheek from its floating salt.
A drip of water fell to a demise.
Realizing these drips weren’t rain drops.
These come from blissful cries.
Now sorrow comes in,
and the bliss stops.
A drip of blood fell to the ground
From a higher height, left a loud sound.
Then a drip of water fell upon my chest.
While scarlet ran upon my breast.
Horrid it was,
Leaving a trail as it ran to the carpet.
Anguishing my neck as it became slit.
A drip of blood came to a demise,
Realizing these weren’t drips of blissful tears.
These come out shaded like crying eyes.
The blood runs to a stop.
Life disappears.
A promise lead to greatness.
A lie lead to anguish.
Happiness broke and withdrew to sorrow.
Sorrow withdrew the through of tomorrow.
A drip of water fell to the ground,
After hearing a screaming sound.
Then a drip of water fell from love’s face.
I am the one to love,
The one no other can replace.
Shadow as My Guide
Winter 2002
With a crinkling penumbra and death black umbra,
My shadow stay ahead of me,
Walking on a horror hill with a cracking earth beside.
The light around it shows cogent evidence,
No horrors lurk behind me.
My apparition clings to my conjoined until confided.
When I put my reliance into activeness,
The bashful light dims.
My shadow now blats
and falls weak upon the midnight.
Black.
Every step,
The dark green ground flows deeper towards my
shadow’s demise.
All my passion gone,
And forlornness will,
With the sun,
Arise.
Guide me shadow,
Lead me through the darkness.
Hold me tightly,
Never leave me in the darkness.
Give me hope,
Let me fall upon the stars.
Let me stand,
Be my guiding star.
Let the unlined sky fall alone,
Just please,
Stay near as darkness is prone to reality.
Follow me on my journeys in gray and in black.
Stand by my side through every bump and every crack.
Please carry me over lakes.
Hold me through the coldness.
Be my leader through everything, let out your boldness.
Through the crooked life,
Will you be here for me to cry on?
Through the hated sorrow,
Will you retain my contemptible body?
Through the times I will fall,
Will you be there for me to fall on?
Through anger and breakage,
Will you hold me way through the night?
Hallowed cries and molded sighs,
Embodied lies and lonesome skies,
Fallen stars and weary scars,
Invisible bars and hidden cars.
We can let anything fall through autumn,
We can’t let anything freeze through winter,
We can’t let anything melt through summer,
We can’t let anything cry through spring.
Holding on through dusk ‘til dawn,
I know you’ll be there,
Falling on through Sunday to Saturday,
We’ll stay together in despair.
Keep up with me,
Don’t fall behind.
Use a simple thought,
Cure your mind.
Be there,
Just be there.
I put my trust into you,
Shadow.
When my stars don’t shine,
My moon doesn’t rise,
When my sun flies away,
My tears fall from the skies,
Be there,
Just be there.
I put my faith into you shadow.
Collecting figure along with age,
Turning life by the page,
Ne’er depart from yr to year.
Adhere united through our fear.
Shadow,
You are my guide.
Shadow,
I know you subsist at nighttime.
Lightlessness,
I’m no longer afraid,
Lightlessness,
I have my shadow as my mime.
Now I agnise I’m withal uniqueness,
A solitary cipher cannot alter me.
I will be myself,
With or without you.
I will acquire riper,
And depart you like my friends,
But I will always have my shadow,
My shadow as my guide.
Fire Flight
Spring 2003
In midflight, I look straight down,
My mind gets a glimpse of a burning, little town.
Flames won’t quit burning my mind.
This picture won’t leave out of my inside.
Nerves immortalizing with synapses,
Until my body will collapse us.
Flaming eyes, showing in my mirror,
Heat burns my face as it gets nearer.
Burn little city, get out of my eyes.
Can we contrive a compromise?
It burns, and I’ll burn with you.
We’ll never win, together we’ll lose.
Note: A Follower into a Leader
Spring 2003
As boring as days are now…
We will still stand on end.
Nothing but carelessness and hate…
Everything to commit sins.
Fear of not being like everyone else,
Peer-pressure as they call it,
Overtakes a being.
We stand by everyone,
Not just ourselves,
We think compatible thoughts,
That we didn’t make up;
We don’t think for ourselves.
This world is full of followers;
There aren’t leaders anymore,
And the ones who are the leaders…
Not too many people tend to adore.
Think for yourself,
Think freely and carelessly,
Don’t be scared to think new things,
Let your mind explorer.
Don’t hold yourself back on one belief forever.
Embark on journey through your own river.
Let the newest of new flow into the oldest of old.
Hear the truth in everything.
Let you be yourself.
Let you be free and careless.
Don’t be scared to be a new you,
Let you explorer.
Understand the fallen cause,
Concentrate on what you think.
Don’t let the public take you over.
They’ll deceive you with emotion-based thoughts.
Play with your sweet mind,
Twist it around and see what you find.
Don’t look for beliefs that are like mine.
When you don’t find mine… then you must find yours;
Then you will be a leader.