Feels great to be part of the Hive family!
Three and a half years ago I was homeless in Baltimore City, MD strung out on heroin. Prior to that I was bartending at a dive strip club in East Baltimore that I happened to live in as well. Though I was surrounded by bar patrons and the employees that worked there I felt completely isolated, lonely, and hopeless. The only time I would leave the strip club was to go across the street every morning to the maintenance clinic to get dosed 120 mgs of methadone or the 7-Eleven across the street to get my cigarettes and food (if I felt like I could eat). Other than that I didn’t leave the club.
I had my drugs delivered to me every day- sometimes a few times a day. I was surrounded by people, but felt completely alone. I was a shell of the man I once was and certainly am today. I hardly talked to anyone, I didn't eat, I didn't shower, I didn't do anything but live to use and use to live. That is- if you can even call it living. I had lost over 100 lbs in less then a year and only weighed 160 lbs, if that. I overdosed 12 times in 2016 and lost the will to live. I was defeated on all accounts.
Somewhere in the middle of all this a close friend mine Owl 
I never should have left the safety of my friend Owls house, that same night I ended up getting my car shoot up in Baltimore city. The fun didn’t stop there however. I ended up driving right outside the city lines that night to let the heat die down. I didn’t really have any place to go so I found a nice quiet parking lot in the county and proceeded to get high. It was there in that parking lot I had a drug induced heart attack.
I was in the hospital for almost a month after that, the Drs found that i had Endocarditis which was caused by the growth of bacteria on my heart valves. That bacteria growth lead to an infected mass called a "vegetation". The bacteria was introduced in to my bloodstream through shooting up in unsterile environments. My first day in the hospital is when they put me on methadone because my body could not of survived going through the opiate withdrawals.
One would think with two different near death experiences sitting in the hospital on suicide watch I would think about turning my life around. Though I did think about some of the things that I happened to remember Owl telling me, that was not enough. Even overhearing my own mother pray to god that I would just get it together or just die so I would be relieved of all the worldly pains I was going through was not enough either. All I could focus on was getting that next fix. So it should come as no surprise that as soon as I got out of the hospital I was right back at it again and harder then ever.
Things only got worse for me in the last month of active addiction. Due to a fight at the club I lost my job and my place to live. Completely homeless with snow falling around me I resorted to sleeping in abandon houses and people’s sheds. I’ll never forget spraying spray paint into a bowl and lighting it on fire just so I wouldn’t freeze to death at night.
Around New Year’s Eve a complete stranger snuck me past his roommate so I could have a warm place to stay. I started my “detox” there- hidden in his closet from his roommate. At that point I come in contact with a close friend who offered me a chance out of Baltimore down here to South Florida.
Two days later, I boarded a train for the 24 hour trip to Florida from Maryland. I think it’s worth mentioning I almost missed the train because I needed to get one last fix before I left Baltimore. I ended up overdosing in the bathroom at the train station. That was 1/2/17 and it was the last time I used. If dying in the bathroom wasn’t enough, the 24 hour sleepless train ride, complete with seizures and vomiting on a poor little old lady, definitely was a nice way to end that chapter of my life.
Little did I know that the trip would change my life forever. I wouldn’t want to trade my new way of living for anything. Getting sober allowed something amazing to happen. I started living my life again for the first time in 10 years.
Once I got to Florida I started by following a few simple suggestions and working the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous with a sponsor. That gave me the strong foundation I needed to create a life beyond my wildest dreams!
In the last few years thanks to my new found sobriety I have been able to continue my education and become licensed in crisis prevention and intervention along with other accreditation in the behavioral health field. This has helped tremendously with my career in the substance abuse and mental health field.
I have also been able to start a few of my own companies and gained financial security. Along with hiring others who are looking to better their own lives. These companies and projects have a wide span but the recovery related ones are sober homes, book publications, Recovery Inc, and an addiction help line.
Those are nothing compared to regaining my self-worth and a healthy relationship with myself. Let’s not also forget being given a chance to regain the trust of a good bit of my family along with many old friends. Thanks to sobriety I’m also happy to say all the relationships in my life today are healthy ones- especially the one with my girlfriend.
Three and a half years ago I didn’t know or like the person in the mirror, but I’m happy to say today I have a life beyond my wildest dreams. If you are struggling, I just want you to know I understand the way you feel and you don’t have to go down this road alone. Please reach out for help! I’m always here and your life matters!
You matter!
for never giving up on me and introducing me to Steemit&
for being so open with his health battle in the past which gave me courage to be open about my addiction.▂ ▃ ▄ ▅ ▆ ▇ █ █ ▇ ▆ ▅ ▄ ▃ ▂
Please visit my website or call 888-343-6693