I wanted to share a bit about what music means to me. I was in an extremely toxic relationship for almost 10 years. I wasn't allowed to sing, or listen to what I wanted on the radio. I had to pretend to enjoy what my partner listened. to. Anytime I tried to sing, I would be shut down. Told to shut up. The music would be turned up over my voice, or someone would sing over me. I was never okay just being who I am.
I have been singing since I was a little girl. Singing, has always been that ONE thing that, when I thought I had failed at EVERYTHING else, I KNEW I could still sing. That changed in that toxic relationship. It changed. I started to doubt myself. I started to believe I wasn't any good. I didn't deserve to sing. I wasn't good enough to share my gift with the world. If... if I even had a gift at all...
When I met Pickle, he wanted to sing WITH me, not against me. He wanted to hear my voice. He wanted me to share it with the world. He made me believe that maybe, just maybe, I do have a gift after all.
In the few months we've been singing together, I have grown. I have allowed music to heal me. I have allowed music back into my life. I have learned what I love. I have been educated on music genres, and capos, and guitar strings and tuning. I've learned to harmonize, and project, and memorize and be okay with me.
So, what is music to me? Music is the one language that allows me to feel. The one language that allows me to heal. The one language that has this mysterious force that gets so deep into my heart, where even I'm not allowed to go. When words fail me, music speaks for me. It calms the anxiety in my soul, and I had lost that. I had lost myself, and now I'm found.
bold#Rex ❤
