After the deliberation of many days, I've finally brought myself up to the daunting task of introducing myself to a community as vast and diversified as Steemit; one that has no clue who I am and makes me wonder if would even notice that I came by to say Hi.
Its a scary thought, of opening yourself up to people who are completely unknown to you, of revealing aspects of you that are personal, that are vulnerable, of allowing others to peek and have a look at the person you are, have been, and hope to be.
I know I don't necessarily have to show myself with such depth and detail, this is just a simple #introduceyourself after all, but then I won't be able to be as authentic as I wish to be and it won't be justice to anyone reading to really getting to know me.
So coming to the actual introduction, for the sake of summarizing I've already mentioned in the title my major interests and pursuits for the ones amongst us who are more impatient :D
I'm a 27 year old student of psychology from Lahore, a city that is a promise of opportunity, hospitality, and traffic blocks. I'm doing my post graduation in Clinical Psychology from NUST, a university in another city, Islamabad, that has skies, an artist's muse; sounds, a poet's dream. I love to write, travel and photograph. My friends are such an integral part of who I am, that without them so many aspects of my personality would be as lost as if they never existed. Those are the people I chose to keep close by as a part of my family. I met most of them at the hostel at NUST, Islamabad while staying there to study psychology.
Us friends on a trip to the beautiful Northern areas of Pakistan
Islamabad is the city that inspired me to capture it's beauty and wonder in photographs, because I couldn't let the sights that left me in awe be lost.
I won't call myself a photographer, but I sometimes like to be immersed in my surroundings, noticing their little details, capturing the beauty that can be found wherever I like it to be found, being in the present moment completely. It's almost therapeutic. Photography also allows me the thrill and adventure that becomes so imperative when we're slaves to our routines and everything around starts seeming mundane.
Some photos by me:
I'm still a newbie at learning the craft of photography and becoming familiar with it's gear. I still sometimes take photos with my Huawei phone. Which is one reason I'm so excited to have been introduced to Steemit. In the past few days I've already seen some beautiful work by some great photographers including 
Me taking photos with my fancy gear
As a kid, my aspirations for a future profession kept changing throughout. I wanted to be a scientist for as long as I can remember, but had moments of doubt in between where I would wonder if I should instead be a writer or a philosopher. Funny considering as a 12 year old I wasn't even familiar with what philosophy really was and what was demanded of me as writer. But I did end up taking some courses in philosophy in my undergraduation, and like to believe that I'm a social scientist now :D
Writing on the other hand has been a matter of the heart for me. I used to love to write as a kid, it always transported me to a world not my own, a world where I could be anyone, without limitations, without expectations. It always used to be a liberating experience, freeing me from my circumstances. But around the time of my O levels, I stopped writing. The reasons I'm still unsure of. What I'm sure of is that this was also the time I felt the need to fit in, pretty strongly. I was a teenager and I suddenly realized that much more important than spending time reading and writing was going out to the movies and hanging out in the malls with friends. This was also the time I felt that I do not fit in. And I'm not sure though, but I feel like I was going through a little bit of depression as well. This period of my life took away all of my individuality and my authenticity and the strong need to belong almost threatened to turn me into one of the clones of my peers, letting who I was get lost somewhere in between.
It took me some introspection, a major heartbreak, a lot of kindness from the beautiful people around me, and a lot of self love to finally find myself again. It took me especially the efforts of one particular person who has been there for me unconditionally, without ever asking for anything in return. He has been very kind, very giving to me, and has helped me to start believing in myself again. In him I find my home, my safe haven, and to him I wish to keep returning at the end of every sad, happy, exciting, exhausting, overwhelming day.
The writing has started to come back as well. I write now to make sense of the world around me, to let out what I feel and think and then watch it take it's own form to keep existing outside of me. In a way, writing for me is a way to immortalize my experiences, so they keep existing.
I've also recently started writing poetry. I'm not very good at it, I'm not even sure if what I write can even be called poetry, but I keep doing it anyways. It has turned out to be the most authentic and honest medium of expression for me. It is probably the only way I allow my vulnerability to show, without having to fear, without having to hold back. Which is why my poetry is very impersonal, very confessional.
I'll try to keep posting some of the poems I write on my blog, because it is an important part of who I am. A poem that talks about an important layer of me:
I am a sad person,
did you know that?
Spending time alone
in the corners of a room
or under the trees
kinda sad person
Sitting in the rain
watching every droplet fall
without holding back
kinda sad person
Stepping on a lizard
and crying for an hour
about being an oppressor
kinda sad person
Looking into someone's eyes
and finding years of yearning,
for love,
for acceptance
kinda sad person
Seeing someone
smiling at me
but not wanting to smile back
kinda sad person
Sending out a silent prayer
every time
I can't help someone
kinda sad person
Making sure
that everyone is heard
everyone is seen
but not being heard or seen myself
kinda sad person
Silencing my own voice
holding everything within
then writing poems about it
kinda sad person
Studying psychology has been like learning to peel off the layers from an onion. Each layer more delicate than the other, each layer demanding more care and patience to be peeled off. The parts revealed after the peeling, are always more vulnerable, more raw, and purer. I have been trying to peel off some of my layers as well, every time instinctively building up more layers around but at the same time recognizing the doubts and fears behind, acknowledging their presence, and continuing the process of discovery.
I intend to use my knowledge and experience from my educational degree as well as my personal learning and observations to build a community that prioritizes mental health, is more accepting and inclusive of mental and emotional health issues, and embraces all the aspects of human experience including sadness, weakness, and vulnerability.
Steemit sounds like a good place where such ideas will be readily accepted because of it's format. Closely knit communities, a readiness to talk about everything important, inclusivity, and strong support systems are all good elements for the promotion of mental and emotional health amongst us.
I feel so grateful towards 
So, what you should be expecting from me on my blog in the coming days:
• My photography, the process of it, and what each of my photos mean for me
• Some of my poetry, where did it come from, and how do I relate to it
• My travel stories, what I saw and did, and what inspired me while I was there
• Some content on mental health, how essential it is to have a healthy mind, the importance of processing our emotions, and some of the taboos and myths attached with mental health
I hope I can reach out to the maximum people here at Steemit, so that all my work and efforts and plans get noticed and I am able to make the difference that I intend to.
Thank you so much for reading my long and elaborate #introduceyourself. I appreciate your patience and time for taking interest in what I had to say about myself.
Love for you all!