Thanks for clicking Steem members!
I'm Savannah and this is my story:
Before I start I'd like to introduce myself:
My name is Savannah, I'm 21yrs old and an aspiring musician. Piano being my number one and guitar a close second. Because I'm very new to the scene and to be safe, I'd like to keep my location a secret until I'm more comfortable. But I really hope that doesn't discourage the rest of the community to communicate with me because I'd really enjoy meeting, contributing, and learning more with everyone.
The Keys & Strings
Since elementary school I always suspected there was something different about me. My other friends and peers could do so much more than I without a second of hesitation. Everyday was a continuous fight just to stay the same person I was the day before. Countless days where moving wasn't an option, the depression took every ounce of energy I had until the 18-24hr episode ran it's course. Once middle school hit, so did the anxiety. Normal everyday tasks felt like I was seconds away from being pushed on a stage in front of thousands of people. I stopped wearing contacts and glasses so everyone would be just another blurry face. That helped for awhile but it just made the #depression worse. In 8th grade I was finally treated for Major Depressive Disorder, #Bipolar-Disorder, and Anxiety Disorder. After trying many #SSRI's and #SNRI's ( #Paxil, #Prozac, #Abilify, etc.), there came #Lexapro. I wasn't a person anymore. I couldn't feel anything which made me want to feel everything. Hurting myself (cuts/burns) came first, it felt right. During, it didn't feel wrong at all, it was something I had to do. After that, I realized I didn't want to live at all if I couldn't feel, if all I was was nothing more than a defective robot.
Then I heard this song:
The grand piano that sat for years in my family room soon became gold to me. It became my only escape from the reality I could never get away from. The sound and comfort every note and chord gave to me felt better than any #Benzo I was ever prescribed. To this day, I've gained only one other source comparable to the feeling of the pure comfort and bliss the piano grants me: my wonderful and amazing #Fiancee.
If you read until the very end of my story, I want to thank you. If I can be of any help by answering related questions or even you sharing your knowledge about the subject, I would be more than happy to contribute and learn from your experiences as well!
To Better Days..,
Savannah