Emeka and Chisom were childhood friends who grew up in the same neighborhood. Their friendship had been as tight as their parents would allow. Friends of opposite sexes should/could not be as close as those of the same sex. It just did not work that way; their parents would say. So Emeka and Chisom had been as close as they could be according to this oral law of society.
Years have a way of changing things; sometimes damaging relationships and the people involved themselves.
It had been four years since Emeka last saw Chisom. They were no longer kids. Emeka had clocked 32 three months ago and Chisom was fast nearing 30. Their friendship, if it still existed, was not what it used to be. It had gone through so much since childhood.
First they were cool, then they were not, then they were and now, they were not cool. It was not animosity as far as Emeka knew. It was simply the way it was. Their individual experiences and resultant varied views to/on life were to a large extent, to blame for that.
Although unmarried, Emeka had learnt a few things he planned to teach the children he would father.
His wife, whoever she will be, would be in on them too. Remarkable, especially for his daughters was that 'their strength was never to be measured by how much pain they could endure'. He had had his fill of that to last him for a lifetime.
Chisom was one among the reasons why teaching his daughters this was so important to him.
As a teenager, he had developed feelings for Chisom. Beautiful Chisom. Her beauty had been such that she had easily stood out in a room full of ladies. It still was and she still did.
Puberty had done her well. She had developed perky breasts and well-rounded hips that complimented her small waist and straight long legs all too well at a young age. Her lengthy jet black hair had added a softness to her facial beauty.
She had been the one every boy in school wanted to be associated with.
Chisom came from a comfortable home with strict disciplinarians for parents. As an only child, she was dotted on and had the nicest things among girls her age. Her life to onlookers like her peers was perfect.
Emeka was not a mere onlooker. He knew Chisom's life was far from perfect. Her seemingly exemplary parents had a boxing ring for a home. On days when they barely managed not to come to blows, they would exchange heated words; hurtful words that should not be hurled at anyone, let alone a spouse.
Boarding school and subsequently, university were much welcome escapes for Chisom. Her parents had stayed together despite having fallen out a long time ago. A grown Emeka could not still understand why.
Emeka continued to nurse his feelings for Chisom even after they graduated. He feared that letting his feelings known could create an awkwardness that could ruin their friendship if Chisom did not feel the same way. Whether Chisom had noticed, he could not say as she did not seem to see him in that sense.
Things may have turned out differently if he had told her and gotten to her first. When Emeka could no longer hide his feelings, he had summoned up courage and told Chisom over dinner one evening. She had recently gotten a job in an insurance firm while he was still job hunting.
Chisom revealed she was in a relationship. How had he not known? She had kept it from him since it was still pretty much new. She had wanted it to blossom before letting him know.
The lucky man was Willard, her boss; a young man in his late twenties.
Emeka had been disappointed and as much as he had denied it then, he had let it cause a strain in their relationship. He simply did not know how to be best friends with someone he loved and watch her carry on with another man. He was jealous and hurt but agreed it was not her fault.
He found an excuse not to attend Chisom’s wedding to Willard six months later. He had away from the country. The company which he had started working for had sent him abroad for training. A perfect cover for an excuse seeing as he could have attended had he really wanted to. He had not wanted to.
Keeping his distance remained till date, one of Emeka's biggest regrets in life. If he had not, perhaps he could have saved Chisom from the enslavement that had been her marriage. It had gradually robbed her of herself each day she stayed on.
Her mother would tell her.
"Take a good look at me; can you recount how many times you saw your father hit me? Am I not still here, married to him? You are stronger than you look. You have to keep your marriage at all cost. Your husband is your crown."
Chisom had believed every word of that. Society thought it a thing of shame for a woman to leave her husband and her home for any reason. It just did not care enough to hear the reasons. Emeka often wondered how an educated woman as smart as Chisom could have accepted such a norm. He may have told her not to if he had been there for her but he had not.
Losing Wilson, her one-year old son had opened her eyes.
Willard in the heat of anger had plucked him from Chisom's arms and flung him against a wall in a desperate attempt to hit her. It broke Chisom in ways he had not imagined.
She had swiftly gotten a divorce from her monster of a husband. She blamed herself for Wilson's death. Had she left earlier, her son would not have died.
Chisom reached out to him and in less than two weeks after their reconnection, he had gotten acquainted with the happenings in her life.
He saw the pain behind her smile and in her every movement. He longed so much to soothe it.
Had Emeka known how deep her cuts really went, they could have stayed just friends even if it meant he would continue to nurse his feelings for the rest of his life. Well, he had not.
He had thought he could be a part of her healing process.
"A girl once told me to be careful when trying to fix a broken person, you may cut yourself on their broken pieces."
Emeka read the words off his desktop screen. They had popped up accompanying a therapy advertisement.
He wished he had read this before he and Chisom had finally become lovers or that he had at least had some sort of warning. He may have stopped to think or maybe not; hell, he didn't know.
He had asked Chisom out ten months after their reconnection wanting so much to be a bigger part of her life.
Chisom had asked if he could accept her flaws. His reply had been quick.
"YES".
They may even have gotten married if Chisom had not stalled in giving him a reply to his proposal.
Emeka had learnt soon enough that you could not really know people enough, no matter how close they let you.
There was always a little more you could learn when you draw closer to them.
He had learnt that pain existed on different levels; some cuts went deeper than others and may never heal, even when they did, the scars stay on as a reminder.
Chisom had been afraid of him. She would flinch when he came too close. He knew why but still wondered why when in the long time they had been friends, he had never given her cause to be scared of him.
Where had her regard for herself gone? He would forget her few faults but she constantly picked on his.
This was not the Chisom he had fallen in love with fifteen years ago. This was a broken Chisom. Life had dealt her a huge blow she did not seem to be recovering from. Nevertheless, He still loved her and would show it but she would not let him. He would help her heal but she would not let him in.
In the end, Chisom had up and left. No goodbyes said, just gone to God-knows-where. They had not had a fight. He knew deep inside he was not the problem. He may have been a little too fast but it went deeper than that.
Four years on, with just an email to let him know she was fine and with broken pieces of his heart slowly coming together, he prayed that wherever she was, she would find the peace and healing she needed.
Unless otherwise stated, all images were obtained from Pixabay
