Should I wait until I have atleast 100 followers before I introduce myself?

I think not. Chances are very few people will read my post, then again I think it's for the best. So without any further delay I introduce you all with a peculiar 6'5'' Indian boy, 'me'. "Really", you say, a 6'5" Indian guy. Well my parents and the whole town was surprised to see what I had grown into at the age of 16. By then I had not achieved much, but an uncanny anatomy which for most seemed abnormal. I couldn't blame them, I looked like one of those thin hippies but without a beard. I was born in a small town, Ozar with little over 2000 population back then. It is a township built for the workers of HAL. If you are wondering what HAL is, well it is the Hindustan Aeronautics Limited division, the one where my father helped assemble jets. Life was good back then, little to worry about, lesser to no concern about what lied ahead. But heck my father thought I was growing like a tree, as if I was consumed by something. I like to believe, it had more to do with my genes but my father was only 5'10", that couldn't be just it, the environment too played its part. You see the town was so pure with less to none pollution, the air itself had a mesmerizing effect on your soul. But my father was concerned for me and started endocrinological treatment on me which stopped me from growing any further but it had affects on me, I believe it changed some chemical composition of hormones inside me . But nevertheless, everybody was happy and so was I, we felt we had had a triumph over nature's order. I would realize in the time ahead though that I lost more than what I achieved.

School time was fun, even though my parents expected a lot out of me, it did not trouble me as I liked performing. Even the teachers at school took me for a bright one. Heck the principle of our school for some reason thought I was going to top amongst all students. Maybe he was tired of seeing a girl on the top of the list but that was a sick thing. I clearly remember the day I was at my regular Friday NCC drill when the principle who happened to be our Lieutenant called me upon and said to me, "Swapnil, you are going to top this years results". And I was like "Okay". I couldn't come up with a better response to that but I made him think I understood. When the results came I didn't top. I did not even manage the top ten, not that I could not but I was in love with a girl. And for me pursing it remained of the greatest value. They say love is the best feeling in the whole word. It made me happy, invincible and a hopeful romantic. But all that was shattered, soon my parents found out my affair. You see unlike the western culture, Indians prefer their children remain single until they marry to someone. It was some drama I had to go through. My father had us moved to a different city to avoid any continuation of my affair which made me change my school. Long distance killed my first love.

My Midlife Crisis

Junior college was very different from school, I was in a new city which was a lot bigger and crowded. I had to figure my ways through in my new world an I cannot exaggerate how difficult it was. Even the buses I took to commute to college contributed to my struggle. You see the buses were designed for average heighten Indian males which according to a survey is 5'5". That didn't allow me neither a comfortable sitting position nor allowed me to stand straight. People used to think of me like an alien just landed into their city looking to fit in. My abnormal posture didn't help me bring any good attention but only the worst. Each day was a struggle for me in that strange city. It made me feel embarrassed for who I was and it shattered any self confidence I had or the desire to stand out. I was not very good at making friends during then and neither am I today. I still remember the first day of my college, I was already late and until I figured which classroom I was to be in I had this bad feeling like I was going to be in trouble. I walked up to my class door hoping it was the right one and I saw two elderly males standing outside conversing. I figured one of them was my to be class teacher, so I confirmed with him that I was in the right place before entering the class room. As soon as I entered the room I was welcomed with a loud applause and some cheers, I simply couldn't think if they mistook me for someone special. I continued towards the boys seating section only to find the class overcrowded by at least 15 to 20 students. There was no vacant seat I could find and I was already at the end of this big large unfriendly room. Out of those odd 120 people, I heard a voice from somewhere saying, "You can sit here". I cannot stress more on how relieved I was to hear that. His name was Balraj and he was sitting already with a boy and he offered me a place beside him. He was my first friend at Junior college and in no time I made quite a few. But I could never trust a person so easily with the whole world outwardly secretly making fun of me. Those two years of my Junior college were among the roughest times of my life and I believe they had a major role in deciding what I was going to be. But not everything was bad, I fell in love again which made me feel pure and innocent. I even gathered the courage to ask her out in my own lame way which of course she refused. She was my classmate. I had never seen a girl like her and I doubted if I ever would. She was kind, gentle, gorgeous and quite. I was really embarrassed after she declined my proposal I had to now face her in class and during practicals each day. But everything seemed to have worked out in my favor. There began some chemistry between us and each time I looked at her I found her checking me out. Initially I was scared thinking she was eyeballing at me for being that forward. She was from a very small town and had moved here for studies and I don't suppose she expected anybody to ask her out. Time passed by, I avoided any eye contact but I enjoyed the attention. If only I could gather that courage once again that drove the passion from me once. I guess I didn't want that girl to see how fucked up my life really was. I like to think I never meant to cause her any trouble.

I was 18 when I had to choose what line of career I was to opt. The main heard was attracted towards engineering and the rich ones or the actual brainy folks towards medical. I had little to no insight on what my career path was supposed to be like. I was a guy who kept things from everyone and had below average performance by then. That was the time when I looked up to my brother who was already pursuing Mechanical engineering, For some reason it made sense to me as my father was an engineer and my brother was on his way to be one. And as they say an apple does not fall far from the tree, I took a leap of faith. So I enrolled in to the University of Pune for mechanical engineering.

Career Struggle

My first year at college as a freshmen was like nothing I imagined. It was really good. I was in the city of Pune, the home of education they call it. It was unlike the places I had been to, people were educated, had a certain panache about the way they did things. For the first time in my life I felt I was no different from others. I had no fear and I would not be totally incorrect to say I finally found a place were I belonged. I moved to Pune in 2009, a city 150 miles east to Mumbai (Bombay), once the capital of India. College was good. I had finally put on some weight that made me look like a human being and could say to have acquainted good sense of dressing. I made friends at my pace (you know) but I had major help from my brother. He already had his feet settled and I got to stay with him in his apartment near our college and ironically we studied at the same college. Life was good, living away from my parents certainly took the heaviness off my chest. I was independent to make my own decisions. So I made the most of it and I fell in love again and this time had a successful relationship. For two years I lived in long awaited peace of mind but then my brother graduated and moved to a different city for higher education. That was the actual time I was under nobody's supervision, it did not bring the best out of me though, only the worst. I started drinking and did drugs which I am really not proud of. I felt powerful and weak at the same time. I started to fall off from the grid and began doubting my choice of career. My girlfriend and I was in a long distance relationship. We were young in love and all we needed was someone's place to crash in to, to make love. Those few hours we were really connected but for the rest of the month, the distance would only bring us misery.

By the mid of my third year in college I really lost it. I threw away my relationship and stopped appearing for exams. I wasted two years drinking and partying like an animal, telling myself I was better than everyone else. When I think today about it. I think, I still was that scared small town boy, afraid I had no place among these people trying to make his way through. For when my brother left me, I was truly lost.

After two years of struggling to make a stance at the college, I decided to look for a job. I was 21 years old with no degree with his name and it took me a while before I finally found an actual paying job. After doing few odd jobs, I started working for a company "Concentrix". It is an MNC in the BPO sector. I worked there for almost an year. I made good friends and also excelled in my job as a customer service executive for a brand named Holiday Lettings. It seemed I had a better understanding with how I needed to communicate with the customers. I realized I was a guy with emotions and empathy, something people on the other side admired and appreciated. But something always felt missing like I didn't belong there. I guess I had became a quitter by then who was unable to decide what I really wanted to do. Hence I kept switching jobs and things at college kept getting difficult as I could never find time to study and neither did could I find the courage to face that life again. So I finally decided to drop out in 2015, something I believe I should had done long ago. I kept switching jobs in the hope that one day I would find a job that I be happy to work at. After years of doing that I realized their was no such thing.

My Crypto Experience

By the mid of December 2017, I came to know about Bitcoin and the Block-chain technology. I was fascinated to see the possibilities and in no time I opened up an account on Koinex and Coindelta, the Indian crypto exchanges and began trading. This was the time when every coin was sky rocketing and I invested whatever I could on XRP. I even made good profit out of it and learned how the market worked. If only I had more experience on how to study the graphs and avoid a crash after a bubble, I could had kept the profits. But nevertheless I learned a lot from my experience and I can safely say I understand a fair bit on how the market works.

My Choice of Career

So I decided to move on to the next best thing "Business". Today I run a small business of packaging diary products for Amul India along with two partners. Of course I had all the support from my family which made it possible Things definitely are challenging and I could not have attracted more stress in life but I think I am doing fine. I don't know but something always felt missing in my life like the one purpose or the one thing that you feel good doing and it took me 27 years of my life to understand what it is. It's not being an engineer, its not working for a BPO and it certainly is not running a business. I like to write about things!

I am not saying I am good at it but writing is what I like and hence I am here to explore this world of Steemit and to be a part of it. My name is Swapnil and I am 27 years old and this is my story😇!

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