Part 1
https://steemit.com/sex/@winglessss/life-as-an-x-sex-offender-part-1
Part 2
So when I was 20 years old I had to start probation for having sex with my now wife. Now I'm a bad guy, now I'm a monster, if they didn't look at me like a sex offender then they sure do now. It's been a really long time I am nearly 33 years old so I'll try my best to describe what it was like. I was in Wisconsin when this all happened. Stay out of Marathon County. When I was locked up all the inmates said, "come to Marathon county for vacation, leave on probation" And I shit you not there was a guy in there who told me that was his exact scenario. I had a PO named James Fuls, I believe, he was an asshole. I was a dumb kid but at one point he told me and I quote, "I think you should be locked up in prison with your brother!"
So I started seeing that my PO was lumping my "problem" into my brothers "problems"
This was a circus, I was not being judged fairly so I put in a move order to move to Minnesota. Where my dad lived and amber and I could distance ourselves from people who thought I was a demon because my brother was satan himself. If they didn't know about my brother I could be judged more fairly.
It took my PO 6 months to approve my transfer. That was a ridiculous amount of time I think. But we moved. Now in Minnesota being a sex offender was NOT easier. I had to start therapy.
Sex Offender Therapy. Now by this time they have told me I have a sex problem so much I believe it too. I can self analyze and see what I did to my sisters was wrong and I need to correct that thinking. To start I want to say therapy was pretty awesome, yet pretty horrible. We had to do therapy twice a week sometimes 3 times a week, we had to pay for it, & the probation officer sat in on ALL therapy sessions! My first therapy was group therapy, there were about a dozen guys in a tiny town. Of course the new guys turn is up when it is his first day. This therapist fuckin laid into me right out the gate, he drilled me with questions for 30 minutes straight. I only really remember him asking me when it happened, what year, what month, what day, what time of day. At one point because I couldn't recall he even said well what kind of weather was outside! what time of year was it. He drilled me about what I did to my sisters over and over. Half way through the 1 hour session they called a smoke break. I went outside because I was nearly shaking I was so angry. This therapist calling me a liar, and worse I can't remember, I was flustered. The guys outside the other "offenders" said holy shit dude you handled yourself really well, I would have decked him or walked out. They also told me it was the therapists first day too! The therapist was apparently trying to make a name for himself there. I did therapy for 2 years I think, 2 times a week with my PO. And it was great (other than that first day) I heard so many terrible stories of abuse. It made my heart break hearing these guys stories, most of who were abused as children themselves. I developed relationships with these guys I drew strength from them. Most of them had some part of there life that I could relate to and learn how to handle myself better.
So I finished probation before I finished before treatment. Treatment can take as long as 5 years to complete. Because I liked treatment and valued the people and relationships I decided I wanted to continue treatment even if I wasn't on probation. Even if it wasn't forced upon me. My wife and I were going through a tough time and group therapy really helped me through it. So everyone told me I wouldn't that no one does. Everyone after probation no one ever comes back. Man were they surprised when I walked in the door after I was done. Everyone's jaw hit the floor. It was awesome. Before they let me off probation they first made me disclose every victim, every crime, and I did. That wasn't good enough, they made me take a lie detector test! To make sure I didn't have any victims I didn't tell them about. I'm a monster remember! They then made me take a breathalyzer the next day, and then I was finally released from the control of the state!
My wife and I worked everything out and got back together. One thing treatment never taught me was I could be a productive member of society, that I could be a good person. It only reconfirmed in me that I had a problem that needed fixing. So I kept going to treatment, until one day I challenged there system because no one ever comes to treatment not bound by any probationary rules. I told them I was going to the Wisconsin State Fair. And I wrote out a safe plan, a plan where I would never be alone, where there would be zero opportunity for me to grab a random child and molest them. I presented this to them and they told me it I had to abide by probation rules to continue the program, which would mean I could not go anyplace children might be. So they said if I went to the fair I couldn't continue treatment. At this point I hadn't gone to the fair in 9 years. I was going. I was going to live my life as a free adult not bound by those draconian rules. I still had to register as a sex offender for the next 10 years but at least I've now paid my debt to society, or so I thought.. . ..