Also available in PDF form, this is the "Operation Manual," for dating Michele McMillan. This may or may not work with similar women. Feel free to edit as you see fit for your own personal needs.
A Layman's Guide to Dating Michele McMillan
By Michele McMillan, with Introduction by Michele McMillan, and Illustration by Michele McMillan....
Introduction 3
Libra Tiger Traits 4
Libra Tiger Compatibility (Love & Friendship) 5
Libra Tiger Business (Career & Goals) 6
Oh No We're in An Argument 7
Deductive arguments 8
Inductive arguments 8
Connotative Arguments 9
15 Common Logical Fallacies and How to Spot Them 9
What Does She Eat? 15
Is She Mad At Me? 18
Body Maintenance 19
In the Bedroom 20
Religion 20
Dealing with Other People 21
Children & Adoption 21
Past Relationships 22
Post Relationship 22
Goals 22
Triggers, Pet Peeves and Criticism 23
Music 24
Date & Gift Ideas 24
Appendix 24
Emergency Emotional Contacts 24
Past Relationships Policy 25
Copy of Most Recent STD Tests 26
Introduction
If you are reading this, chances are you have already met me. If not, allow me to introduce myself. I am Michele McMillan. I have survived riding on the hood of a car, jumping into the window of a moving car, being ejected from a moving car, being dragged down the street, Stage 3 cancer, the Southside of Chicago (south of Hyde Park), attempted murder, attempted kidnapping, pneumonia, asthma, seasonal allergies, verbal/mental abuse, over 30 moves, prescription drug side effects, and the 90's to name a few. I don't need any more drama in my life, and I am looking to decrease stress in my life, thus I wrote this manual for my potential partners. Please feel free to reference this document where applicable, as I will.
According to Myers-Briggs, I am INTX. I usually test pretty high as a Perceiver, but have many Judging qualities. For example I love to explore to new things by jumping in head first, but I also like to keep a loose schedule, and you can expect my phone alarm prompts almost every hour. I'm open, decisive (unless it I say I don't care, then I really don't and you should expect no penalties), I'm disorganized when under stress, but like to keep my work area a certain way. I'm very flexible, and tend to live in the now. My preference is to work ahead of the deadline, but I also acknowledge my best work is usually what I make at the final countdown.
My sign is the Libra/Tiger, although I typically am not into astrology, I feel it is necessary to get this out of the way for those who are. Also, this gives me another arbitrary criteria by which I can describe myself in terms the reader may find valuable in a qualitative sense.
To save time, I have found a description which combines Eastern and Western signs, and I have responded inline. http://astrologyk.com/zodiac/chinese/combinations/tiger/libra
The Tiger’s colorful imagination and his sharp sense of humor are some of his less prominently recorded character traits. (I'm not sure what they mean by sharp, is that like cutting or harsh? I tend to avoid insulting or self-deprecating humor and typically instead opt for word play, playful over-confidence, or stating things that are ironic) Chinese astrologists believed that people born in the Year of the Tiger would receive all the characteristics of this creature in varying degrees. (Have not personally met a tiger, so I can't speak on that... was that funny, because I think that was a sample of my humor?)
In a Western Astrology Libra the Tiger’s creative and humorous influence is usually most prominent. A Libra Tiger is thought to acquire much of the Tiger’s creativity and witty repartee. They also often gain a sizable amount of this animals indecisiveness too. The Libran Tiger is forever changing his or her mind about something. (I don't think I change my mind a lot, but I can be swayed with a good argument, that may or may not occur internally).
Libra Tiger Traits
A Libra Tiger is a pleasant, kind and thoughtful person who enjoys mixing with and helping others. They are happy to work in most environments as they are adaptable and quick to learn new skills. Their indecisive nature are best in jobs that are more routine than varied although the Libra Tiger does not enjoy monotony. (I'm a developer, I don't think I am very indecisive at all when it comes to my work, although I do like to read different methods before making a decision.) These personalities are punctual (I try, but that is not promised, I don't drive, and I stay up working very late, I am too early, as much as I am late) and courteous and can be quite sociable but not overly so. They tend to not like to mix business with pleasure and will often have work friends and socializing friends separately. When they have done working for the day these individual’s prefer to head straight home.
Home and family are important to the Libran Tiger and some of them cannot understand why some people are such workaholics (I am what most people would describe as a workaholic, if I am not at work programming, I am at home programming, working on my films/writing, or studying languages). These people tend to think that the balance between work and home life should be more equal (Agreed, SHOULD). Many Libra Tigers will consider working from home as an option for this reason (Yes, this is my life goal). They love spending time with loved ones and although they take their jobs seriously they are not driven or controlled by them (I would describe myself as EXTREMELY career driven). They find that although they are sometimes wavering in their thoughts that on this particular view they are mostly adamant (Uhhh, I do like to turn up, so, maybe I could work harder theoretically). They take pride in their surroundings and are highly protective of family and partners.
If a Libra Tiger has made the big decision to settle down it will be after much self deliberation and time. (I've been married once, we didn’t even date first, but I plan on being highly selective the next time around, hence, this document.) These personalities do not like making decisions due to their hesitant temperament. (I usually dive in and figure things out, I'm decisive when alone, in a group, I do enjoy taking the occasional thought break).
However making a judgment of a personal nature and about someone else too is different. The Libra Tiger adores love and attention and will seek a soul mate that is very affectionate and attentive. (I am affectionate if we are close intellectually, or there is some kind of passion, otherwise, please don't try to touch me. You know how some cats will ignore you when you try to pet them, or run away when you try to put a costume on them... but then after a while they might come and brush against you, or sit in your lap... I'm that cat, don't make me hate you, wait until I come to you.)
They will be likely to favor quiet nights in over partying or dining out (I definitely prefer partying and dining out, at the party I will mostly talk to you before I start Networking, and after I finish, hopefully you are also into networking... I love checking out new restaurants, although I am giving sobriety a try as of the writing of this document as a salute to my failed marriage to someone who had a habit they wouldn't give up for me). These are homely (Umm, nah, I don’t like that word) people who can easily forget about all their worries and distractions and relax once they get home.
Aside from his or her indecision (Uh, all this indecision stuff is kind of redundant) and wavering views the Libran Tiger can be prone to sulk. This is not really a personality weakness as such as many people are susceptible to sulking (If you see me sulking, just take me out for a run, food, party, play some music between 92 – 150 BPM, I try to avoid sulking, but I do have high stress low solution moments). Nevertheless a Libran Tiger has a unique kind of brooding style that will often last until they get their own way or get bored whichever is the quicker (Bored is more likely). This weak spot in their character can make them appear a little immature (Uhh, whatever). So the sulky time periods and durations usually diminish as they grow older and they may find better ways to communicate their wishes or disapproval (Yea, an operation manual, to be edited from henceforth, ain't nobody got time for that).
Libra Tiger Compatibility (Love & Friendship)
Libra Tigers are loyal and diplomatic friends, but they can also rely on their friends too heavily (I typically don't rely on people, or ask for help, I will say what I need, and secretly hope you want to help me, if not, it will end there). Luckily, members of this sign have little trouble attracting new people into their lives, and typically have many acquaintances from several different walks of life. When they are in balance, Libra Tigers can be as fun, charming, and graceful as anyone (I'm not good at graceful, but I'd like to be).
They are romantics and idealists who see life as a grand drama, one they wish was more like the romantic adventures (not in the lovey dovey sense though, more like explorers vs the unknown) that they like to read books and watch movies of (Comic books I love, mostly I am reading documentation, that I don't love). Unfortunately, too much dreaming can lead to unrealistic expectations of life and people in it. At any given time, it is very likely to find a Libra Tiger unhappy with the state of multiple relationships (I don't think I can say this is true, but I do hold pretty high standards for myself, admittedly... meaning I want to improve at all times, and expect others working with me to put in equal effort).
Similarly, Libra Tigers can be difficult to have a romantic relationships with. With such high expectations of how they want their life to look, they will inevitably end up disappointed with reality. (Did this writer get dumped by a Libra? I want to be successful, and I want us to make about $200,000 a year combined minimum, gym on site, separate bedrooms, an office space, laundry upstairs, dishwasher also required as I like to cook a lot, and love appliances).
They have the charisma and energy to attract the partner of their choosing, but this person is most likely to receive the brunt of their emotional instability (Whoa, whoa, I'm not unstable, but I am likely to hold in something that is pissing me off until I explode, my bad, I am trying to find a way to work on this, I think if you write me a small note or text instead of confronting me face to face I am more likely to resolve things calmly, but hopefully I will be able to avoid these disagreements with the content therein). Again, living a balanced life (including realistic expectations), is key to making these relationships work.
Libra Tiger Business (Career & Goals)
Members of this sign have all of the intelligence and tenacity to be the C.E.O. of a company, but nine times out of ten that company will have to be one they started themselves. Members of this sign don’t necessarily enjoy others having authority over them, except when they feel a personal connection with the person in charge. Likewise, they may feel drawn to a certain field instinctively or emotionally, and should consider any field in which they feel drawn towards.
This is a sign that can accomplish anything. Anything at all. The problem is that they rarely finish anything. (I am OCD about finishing the things I start, I will resume something I have taken a break on for 2 years just because I like to finish what I start, but yea, there might be a 2 year break) Sometimes they don’t even start.(Usually if I have some support I will start) To be more precise, Libra Tigers rarely stick with one interest long enough to see it past the idea stages (This is really untrue, and I will usually prototype things for feedback). They are enamoured by the next great idea and learning the next interesting skill. They know a little about a lot of things and in the end have more stories to tell than anyone else. (Lots of stories, I only acquire programming, film, and language skills... though I do like the occasional day of trying to make music or art).
Libra Tigers have a strong artistic side, which can take on a number of forms. Careers such as Writer, Designer, Graphic Artist, Art Dealer, or owner of an art studio or boutique suit them well. (My creative endeavors don't get much positive feedback, and I have been opting lately to become more intelligent and skilled in less fun things) Libra Tigers are often interested in politics as well, and may consider either a career as a politician or a commentator on political matters. (I've been told I should do political commentating multiple times, but I think my views are too radical. I would instead like to purchase a ridiculously large amount of land, and test people for the chance to live with me... very INTJ right? I would make most decisions via forum discussion and voting though).
Now that that is out of the way. Let's get to the things I deemed important.
Oh No We're in An Argument
There are three types of arguments the way I see it. According to Wikipedia (as of time of writing) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Argument#Standard_types:
There are several kinds of arguments in logic, the best-known of which are "deductive" and "inductive." An argument has one or more premises but only one conclusion. Each premise and the conclusion are truth bearers or "truth-candidates", each capable of being either true or false (but not both). These truth values bear on the terminology used with arguments.
Deductive arguments
A deductive argument asserts that the truth of the conclusion is a logical consequence of the premises. Based on the premises, the conclusion follows necessarily (with certainty). For example, given premises that A=B and B=C, then the conclusion follows necessarily that A=C. Deductive arguments are sometimes referred to as "truth-preserving" arguments.
A deductive argument is said to be valid or invalid. If one assumes the premises to be true (ignoring their actual truth values), would the conclusion follow with certainty? If yes, the argument is valid. Otherwise, it is invalid. In determining validity, the structure of the argument is essential to the determination, not the actual truth values. For example, consider the argument that because bats can fly (premise=true), and all flying creatures are birds (premise=false), therefore bats are birds (conclusion=false). If we assume the premises are true, the conclusion follows necessarily, and thus it is a valid argument.
If a deductive argument is valid and its premises are all true, then it is also referred to as sound. Otherwise, it is unsound, as in the "bats are birds" example.
Inductive arguments
An inductive argument, on the other hand, asserts that the truth of the conclusion is supported to some degree of probability by the premises. For example, given that the U.S. military budget is the largest in the world (premise=true), then it is probable that it will remain so for the next 10 years (conclusion=true). Arguments that involve predictions are inductive, as the future is uncertain.
An inductive argument is said to be strong or weak. If the premises of an inductive argument are assumed true, is it probable the conclusion is also true? If so, the argument is strong. Otherwise, it is weak.
A strong argument is said to be cogent if it has all true premises. Otherwise, the argument is uncogent. The military budget argument example above is a strong, cogent argument.
Connotative Arguments
The third type of argument is what I like to call the Connotative Argument. Meaning that simply discussing something with you will be perceived as a personal attack, and that you have an inability to separate your own emotion/feelings and personal perceptions from intent. This is a huge issue in my relationships. I typically use deductive arguments as they are less likely to be reliant on assumptions, although inductive arguments will be the only options in some cases. What I will not do, is listen to what you tell me your intent was, and argue my personal interpretation.
For example, I have to turn in a project tomorrow, but it is the birthday of my friend Mary. I am going to be late for Mary's party/social gathering, because I am not going to leave until I feel I am at a reasonable stopping point. Did I intend to offend Mary? No, I intended to get my work done. Might Mary FEEL offended that I was late, considering she told me a month ago, yes. Now, when I tell Mary that I didn't intend to be late, but she spends the next 20 minutes talking about me being late when I knew about it in advance and talking to other people about how I was late, we have a problem. My intention was to fulfill both obligations, her feelings about it, or perceptions are subjective. The argument is what I personally see as a connotative argument, because she is not listening to what actually happened, or commenting on what actually happened, but her side. This kind of thing leads to disagreements that are unnecessary, time consuming, and produce no beneficial results. Guilting me for trying to be productive is not going to be welcomed, and may eventually lead to me not wanting to see Mary at all.
Now for more formal debates, one should also considering reading about fallacies, because I will point them out to you when you make them. For the sake of keeping this document short, I will put some of the more common ones. https://blog.hubspot.com/marketing/common-logical-fallacies
15 Common Logical Fallacies and How to Spot Them
Written by Karla Cook | 
Logical fallacies -- those logical gaps that invalidate arguments -- aren't always easy to spot.
While some come in the form of loud, glaring inconsistencies, others can easily fly under the radar, sneaking into everyday meetings and conversations undetected.
Having an understanding of these basic logical fallacies can help you more confidently parse the arguments and claims you participate in and witness on a daily basis -- separating fact from sharply dressed fiction.
Our list is by no means an exhaustive guide to every formal and informal fallacy, but it should help you build better arguments and identify logical missteps.
- The Straw Man Fallacy
This fallacy occurs when your opponent over-simplifies or misrepresents your argument (i.e., setting up a "straw man") to make it easier to attack or refute. Instead of fully addressing your actual argument, speakers relying on this fallacy present a superficially similar -- but ultimately not equal -- version of your real stance, helping them create the illusion of easily defeating you.
Example:
John: I think we should hire someone to redesign our website.
Lola: You're saying we should throw our money away on external resources instead of building up our in-house design team? That's going to hurt our company in the long run.
- The Bandwagon Fallacy
Just because a significant population of people believe a proposition is true, doesn't automatically make it true. Popularity alone is not enough to validate an argument, though it's often used as a standalone justification of validity. Arguments in this style don't take into account whether or not the population validating the argument is actually qualified to do so, or if contrary evidence exists.
While most of us expect to see bandwagon arguments in advertising (e.g., "three out of four people think X brand toothpaste cleans teeth best"), this fallacy can easily sneak it's way into everyday meetings and conversations.
Example:
The majority of people believe advertisers should spend more money on billboards, so billboards are objectively the best form of advertisement.
- The Appeal to Authority Fallacy
While appeals to authority are by no means always fallacious, they can quickly become dangerous when you rely too heavily on the opinion of a single person -- especially if that person is attempting to validate something outside of their expertise.
Getting an authority figure to back your proposition can be a powerful addition to an existing argument, but it can't be the pillar your entire argument rests on. Just because someone in a position of power believes something to be true, doesn't make it true.
Example:
Despite the fact that our Q4 numbers are much lower than usual, we should push forward using the same strategy because our CEO Barbara says this is the best approach.
- The False Dilemma Fallacy
This common fallacy misleads by presenting complex issues in terms of two inherently opposed sides. Instead of acknowledging that most (if not all) issues can be thought of on a spectrum of possibilities and stances, the false dilemma fallacy asserts that there are only two mutually exclusive outcomes.
This fallacy is particularly problematic because it can lend false credence to extreme stances, ignoring opportunities for compromise or chances to re-frame the issue in a new way.
Example:
We can either agree with Barbara's plan, or just let the project fail. There is no other option.
- The Hasty Generalization Fallacy
This fallacy occurs when someone draws expansive conclusions based on inadequate or insufficient evidence. In other words, they jump to conclusions about the validity of a proposition with some -- but not enough -- evidence to back it up, and overlook potential counterarguments.
Example:
Two members of my team have become more engaged employees after taking public speaking classes. That proves we should have mandatory public speaking classes for the whole company to improve employee engagement.
- The Slothful Induction Fallacy
Slothful induction is the exact inverse of the hasty generalization fallacy above. This fallacy occurs when sufficient logical evidence strongly indicates a particular conclusion is true, but someone fails to acknowledge it, instead attributing the outcome to coincidence or something unrelated entirely.
Example:
Even though every project Brad has managed in the last two years has run way behind schedule, I still think we can chalk it up to unfortunate circumstances, not his project management skills.
- The Correlation/Causation Fallacy
If two things appear to be correlated, this doesn't necessarily indicate that one of those things irrefutably caused the other thing. This might seem like an obvious fallacy to spot, but it can be challenging to catch in practice -- particularly when you really want to find a correlation between two points of data to prove your point.
Example:
Our blog views were down in April. We also changed the color of our blog header in April. This means that changing the color of the blog header led to less views in April.
- The Anecdotal Evidence Fallacy
In place of logical evidence, this fallacy substitutes examples from someone's personal experience. Arguments that rely heavily on anecdotal evidence tend to overlook the fact that one (possibly isolated) example can't stand alone as definitive proof of a greater premise.
Example:
One of our clients doubled their conversions after changing all their landing page text to bright red. Therefore, changing all text to red is a proven way to double conversions.
- The Texas Sharpshooter Fallacy
This fallacy gets its colorful name from an anecdote about a Texan who fires his gun at a barn wall, and then proceeds to paint a target around the closest cluster of bullet holes. He then points at the bullet-riddled target as evidence of his expert marksmanship.
Speakers who rely on the Texas sharpshooter fallacy tend to cherry-pick data clusters based on a predetermined conclusion. Instead of letting a full spectrum of evidence lead them to a logical conclusion, they find patterns and correlations in support of their goals, and ignore evidence that contradicts them or suggests the clusters weren't actually statistically significant.
Example:
Lisa sold her first startup to an influential tech company, so she must be a successful entrepreneur. (She ignores the fact that four of her startups have failed since then.)
- The Middle Ground Fallacy
This fallacy assumes that a compromise between two extreme conflicting points is always true. Arguments of this style ignore the possibility that one or both of the extremes could be completely true or false -- rendering any form of compromise between the two invalid as well.
Example:
Lola thinks the best way to improve conversions is to redesign the entire company website, but John is firmly against making any changes to the website. Therefore, the best approach is to redesign some portions of the website.
- The Burden of Proof Fallacy
If a person claims that X is true, it is their responsibility to provide evidence in support of that assertion. It is invalid to claim that X is true until someone else can prove that X is not true. Similarly, it is also invalid to claim that X is true because it's impossible to prove that X is false.
In other words, just because there is no evidence presented against something, that doesn't automatically make that thing true.
Example:
Barbara believes the marketing agency's office is haunted, since no one has ever proven that it isn't haunted.
- The Personal Incredulity Fallacy
If you have difficulty understanding how or why something is true, that doesn't automatically mean the thing in question is false. A personal or collective lack of understanding isn't enough to render a claim invalid.
Example:
I don't understand how redesigning our website resulted in more conversions, so there must have been another factor at play.
- The "No True Scotsman" Fallacy
Often used to protect assertions that rely on universal generalizations (like "all Marketers love pie") this fallacy inaccurately deflects counterexamples to a claim by changing the positioning or conditions of the original claim to exclude the counterexample.
In other words, instead of acknowledging that a counterexample to their original claim exists, the speaker amends the terms of the claim. In the example below, when Barbara presents a valid counterexample to John's claim, John changes the terms of his claim to exclude Barbara's counterexample.
Example:
John: No marketer would ever put two call-to-actions on a single landing page.
Barbara: Lola, a marketer, actually found great success putting two call-to-actions on a single landing page for our last campaign.
John: Well, no true marketer would put two call-to-actions on a single landing page, so Lola must not be a true marketer.
- The Tu quoque Fallacy
The tu quoque fallacy (Latin for "you also") is an invalid attempt to discredit an opponent by answering criticism with criticism -- but never actually presenting a counterargument to the original disputed claim.
In the example below, Lola makes a claim. Instead of presenting evidence against Lola's claim, John levels a claim against Lola. This attack doesn't actually help John succeed in proving Lola wrong, since he doesn't address her original claim in any capacity.
Example:
Lola: I don't think John would be a good fit to manage this project, because he doesn't have a lot of experience with project management.
John: But you don't have a lot of experience in project management either!
- The Fallacy Fallacy
Here's something vital to keep in mind when sniffing out fallacies: just because someone's argument relies on a fallacy doesn't necessarily mean that their claim is inherently untrue.
Making a fallacy-riddled claim doesn't automatically invalidate the premise of the argument -- it just means the argument doesn't actually validate their premise. In other words, their argument sucks, but they aren't necessarily wrong.
Example:
John's argument in favor of redesigning the company website clearly relied heavily on cherry-picked statistics in support of his claim, so Lola decided that redesigning the website must not be a good decision.
If you feel I am making a weak argument, feel free to point it out, but know that I will do the same. If you are someone who enjoys philosophical/intellectual discussion this can be very alluring. I respect the ability to correctly structure arguments in discourse. In fact, this is the primary thing I find attractive. Yes, arguing with me (knowing when not to, conceding where I am right, or convincing me I am wrong) is the best/most efficient way to get me interested in you as a person and a potential partner).
What Does She Eat?
I was raised a vegetarian and dabbled in meat in High School. My ex husband ate fish, and I began to eat a bit of fish. One of my best friends is what I would consider primarily carnivorous, and when I am around her and her family I will occasionally eat meat, vis-a-vis "When in Rome." However, I do observe the laws of Kashrut. This most likely won't be a huge issue, as I am the one putting it in my mouth https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kashrut Which means:
Non-kosher animals and birds (based on Leviticus 11:3–8 and Deuteronomy 14:3–21): mammals require certain identifying characteristics (cloven hooves and being ruminants), while birds require a tradition that they can be consumed. Fish require scales and fins (thus excluding catfish, for instance). All invertebrates are non-kosher apart from certain types of locust, on which most communities lack a clear tradition. No reptiles or amphibians are kosher.
Carrion (nevelah): meat from a kosher animal that has not been slaughtered according to the laws of shechita.
Injured (terefah): an animal with a significant defect or injury, such as a fractured bone or particular types of lung adhesions.
Blood (dam): blood of kosher mammals and fowl is removed through salting, with special procedures for the liver, which is very rich in blood.
Particular fats (chelev): particular parts of the abdominal fat of cattle, goats and sheep must be removed by a process called nikkur.
The twisted nerve (gid hanasheh): the sciatic nerve, as according to Genesis 32:32 the patriarch Jacob's was damaged when he fought with an angel, cannot be eaten and is removed by nikkur.
Limb of a living animal (ever min ha-chai): in Genesis 9:4, God forbade Noah and his descendants to consume a limb torn from a live animal. Hence, Jewish law considers this prohibition applicable even to non-Jews,[16] and therefore, a Jew may not give or sell such meat to a non-Jew.
Untithed food (tevel): produce of the Land of Israel requires the removal of certain tithes, which in ancient times were given to the Kohanim (priests), Levites and the poor (terumah, maaser rishon and maaser ani respectively) or taken to the Old City of Jerusalem to be eaten there (maaser sheni).
Fruit during the first three years (orlah): according to Leviticus 19:23, fruit from a tree in the first three years after planting cannot be consumed (both in the Land of Israel and the diaspora). This applies also to the fruit of the vine—grapes, and wine produced from them.[17]
New grain (chadash): in Leviticus 23:14 the Bible prohibits newly grown grain (planted after Passover the previous year) until the second day of Passover; there is debate as to whether this law applies to grain grown outside the Land of Israel.
Wine of libation (yayin nesekh): wine that may have been dedicated to idolatrous practices.
Biblically prohibited mixtures include:[15]
Mixtures of meat and milk[18][19][20](basar be-chalav): this law derives from the broad interpretation of the commandment not to "cook a kid in its mother's milk" (Exodus 23:19, Exodus 34:26, and Deuteronomy 14:21); other non-kosher food may be used for other benefit (e.g. sold to non-Jews), but mixtures of meat and milk are prohibited even with regards to other benefit.[citation needed]
Plants grown together (kilayim): in the Land of Israel plants are to be grown separately and not in close proximity according to Leviticus 19:19 and Deuteronomy 22:9–11. A specific subdivision of this law is kil'ei ha-kerem, the prohibition of planting any grain or vegetable near a grapevine; this law applies to Jews throughout the world, and one may not derive benefit from the produce.
Rabbinically prohibited foods include:[15]
Non-Jewish milk (chalav akum): milk that may have an admixture of milk from non-kosher animals (see below for current views on this prohibition).
Non-Jewish cheese (gevinat akum): cheese that may have been produced with non-kosher rennet.
Non-Jewish wine (stam yeinam): wine that while not produced for idolatrous purposes may otherwise have been poured for such a purpose or alternatively when consumed will lead to intermarriage.
Food cooked by a non-Jew (bishul akum): this law was enacted for concerns of intermarriage.
Non-Jewish bread (pat akum): this law was enacted for concerns of intermarriage.
Health risk (sakanah): certain foods and mixtures are considered a health risk, such as mixtures of fish and meat.
Permitted and forbidden animals[edit]
Examples of cloven hooves in goats(upper left), pigs (lower left) and cattle(lower right). But horses lack cloven hooves (upper right).
Further information: Unclean animal
Only meat from particular species is permissible. Mammals that both chew their cud (ruminate) and have cloven hooves can be kosher. Animals with one characteristic but not the other (the camel, the hyrax, and the hare because they have no cloven hooves, and the pig because it does not ruminate) are specifically excluded (Leviticus 11:3–8).[21][22] In 2008, a rabbinical ruling determined that giraffes and their milk are eligible to be considered kosher. The giraffe has both split hooves and chews its cud, characteristics of animals considered kosher. Findings from 2008 show that giraffe milk curdles, meeting kosher standards. Although kosher, the giraffe is not slaughtered today because the process would be very costly. Giraffes are difficult to restrain, and their use for food could cause the species to become endangered.[23][24][25]
Non-kosher birds are listed outright (Deuteronomy 14:12–18) but the exact zoological references are disputed and some references refer to families of birds (24 are mentioned). The Mishnah[26] refers to four signs provided by the sages.[27] First, a dores (predatory bird) is not kosher. Additionally, kosher birds possess three physical characteristics: an extra toe in the back (which does not join the other toes in supporting the leg), a zefek (crop), and a korkoban (gizzard) with a peelable lumen. However, individual Jews are barred from merely applying these regulations alone; an established tradition (masorah) is necessary to allow birds to be consumed, even if it can be substantiated that they meet all four criteria. The only exception to this is turkey. There was a time when certain authorities considered the signs enough, so Jews started eating this bird without a masorah because it possesses all the signs (simanim) in Hebrew.[28]
Fish must have fins and scales to be kosher (Leviticus 11:9–12). Shellfish and other non-fish water animals fauna are not kosher.[29] Here is a list of kosher species of fish. Insects are not kosher, except for certain species of kosher locust.[30] Generally, any animal that eats other animals, whether they kill their food or eat carrion (Leviticus 11:13–31), is not kosher, as well as any animal that has been partially eaten by other animals (Exodus 22:30-31).
That being said, I am typically vegetarian, and if I have money and access to Uber/and or a partner with a car I am vegan. Yes, after all that, I really don’t need much, although, when I eat it, I feel like I get a buzz kind of. I don’t know if it’s because I am Vitamin deficient or if it is something more spiritual, like, feeling like I am consuming the animals’ power with it’s flesh. I had my first hot dog with my grandma last week, and she smiled.
Is She Mad At Me?
Maybe, but you should probably ask, not while I am working though. That will piss me off more, especially if you are passive aggressive about it. In the event that I am actually mad, feed me, or leave me alone until I am over it. Getting in my face and or asking to talk about the same things over and over, will annoy me very quickly. It may help you to feel like you are discussing the issue, but you are getting on my nerves, sorry.
I would recommend sending me a text message, email, or note. I am frequently under stress or pressure at work, and relationship stress can make it even harder to get my work done. I’m very forgiving, it is best to let me forgive you. If I am in love I will be smiling with a broken bone (true story), but if I am cranky, I’m probably pissed at you, are facing some kind of mental strain. My best advice is get to know me, and you will know which it is, I have heard. Lately, I have taken to going for runs after long draining arguments, so don’t be offended if I say I am going for a run, and you feel like you want to talk some more. Emotional disagreements lead to circuitous conversations, and I find it best to give both parties time to process.
Body Maintenance
Ok, as I have stated I like to get things done. Pretty nails get in the way. I am not thinking about shaving if I have a project deadline, I’m barely eating and sleeping. Also, I don’t like to shave, sorry. I bathe probably, 4 or 5 days a week. There are days where I don’t, maybe I got distracted, or I have been heads down for about 72 hours and I am also not eating, or leaving one spot. My bad. I am just really focused. That being said, if there is something you want, feel free to pay for it. I hate shaving, but waxing last much longer anyway.
The cost to have me completely waxed is usually $65-100 and includes https://www.salonpricelady.com/brazilian-wax-prices/: Full Body Special (Full Brazilian, Full Legs, Underarm, and Upper Lip), depending on location. “Depending on how fast your hair grows, a good rule of thumb is to get waxed about every three weeks or when your hair has grown at least a quarter of an inch, says Ettia Tal, owner of Ettia Holistic Day Spa in NYC.” If you would like to get my nails done, remember, no tips and no acrylic ($25-50 depending on location). I prefer to keep my hair natural, but I am open to whatever wigs, or styles you find interesting short of being bald or using a relaxer/color on my natural hair.
Spa days are great and welcomed, and quite frankly after all that plucking and painting, I think a massage is deserved, but I am not going to request a professional be employed for that task. Assuming a committed relationship is desired with me at top visual attraction one could expect to spend about $1800 a year. Or about $100 a month. Getting my hair braided is an additional $25-50 monthly cost, but typically I can assist with this… Help is welcomed and appreciated though, hence my total yearly requirement for “Trophy Status,” comes out to about $3000. I’m not sure if it is obvious or not, but I don’t actually care about these things. If you want it, I will sit patiently through the torture, but I’m not investing my hard earned money into that kind of stuff. Especially when I don’t enjoy it. My makeup is about $600 a year, and my favorite clothing company is J Crew. I will likely be paying for the makeup and clothes because that is part of my career anyway. Sexy clothes etc., I will wear, but I won’t buy, I prefer to wear onesies which I have heard are either cute, or dreadful depending on the partner, unlike waxing and such, I consider paying for my hair, or lingerie a gift.
In the Bedroom
Did you skip to this chapter? Lol. Ok, I’m a lil on the PG side typically, and I don’t know who all will be reading this, so I am going to be as discreet as possible. I don’t want to have sex if we aren’t married, if you make a move, I will likely try to push you a way or I will act weird, you should interpret this as “No,” and not me being playfully coquettish, feel free to consider me a prude, I am not Baskin-Robbins, you can not get a sample while you figure out what you want. Still reading? Great! First off, I don’t do latex. I don’t like being oily, wet, or restrained in clothing. I don’t like gas masks. I like touching human skin. I’m ok with a little gray, but only like 30 shades.
I don’t want an open relationship, or for you to have other partners/slaves/masters. That being said I am always looking for ways to stay in shape, and I think intimate cardio is a beautiful thing. I run a mile everyday. Sometimes, I run two miles in a day. Kegels are just another form of exercise, although I lost my Kegel Balls, not inside of my body though :) I’m not really into the thought of consuming someone else’s spit or bodily fluids. Yoga is a great form of exercise, and I am pretty flexible. Usually I do some weights after I run, some core exercises, some yoga, and finish with a bit of meditation. I have a Sutra app, and if desired can supply you with an exact list of moves I enjoy and don’t. I’m not going to tell you while we are in the moment. I’m not going to talk at all, I don’t know… I am trying to enjoy the moment, not come up with things to say. I enjoy a bit of roughhousing though, and a great way to instigate is with a bit of light wrestling, or sparring. Not when I am working though, because you will piss me off, even if I do need a break.
Totally open to RPG, I love cute outfits and costumes, but I might need a script, and or time to prepare. Don’t just expect me to dress like Tomb Raider, with 1 hour of notice, and know that I am not trying to be talking all the dang on time. If there is consent and interest, I will not lie there like a dead fish.
Religion
I wouldn’t say I believe in a God. I would say I have faith that one may exist, or some kind of force, that is kicking my @$$ 70% of my life. We can discuss this. If you make side comments about how I should join the Amish, dress like a pilgrim, or other passive aggressive comments about religious people being unintelligent etc, things between us are going to start to go awry quickly. I will not try to convert you, if you don’t try to convert me. For the most part, my beliefs will not affect yours, it is however a topic I am open discussing, and I enjoy reading about different religions, and their beliefs. I understand for many people this is an easy low form of humor like sarcasm, but I need someone a bit more clever. If Sarcasm, insults, and racist, and or religious jokes are your primary form of humor, you will probably bore me pretty fast. I don’t look forward to awkward moments, or awkward laughter.
Dealing with Other People
Don’t get jealous if I am nice to someone other than you, even if you think they have ill intentions. A great way to mitigate this is to go with me when I hang out with that person, instead of getting pissed off at me. I understand that one day, I might be getting on your nerves and you want council from a peer, but please choose someone that can hold water. I have included a form in the Appendix for “Emergency Emotional Contacts,” this is where you can let me know beforehand all the people you will be telling my business to potentially. I will supply you the same, and encourage you to introduce me to your contacts, and I will introduce you to mine for things to be in context when possible.
I am very open to mediation, and in the event there is a big issue, would think it very pro-active if you suggested that we talk with a therapist, or bring in mutual friends for a debate (assuming they are aware they are about to enter a potential war zone). I do however, think we should consider discussing who the contacts are before blabbing each other’s business. I’m typically pretty quiet around strangers when sober, so don’t be alarmed if all of a sudden we are out and I am not talking. Please don’t initiate the searing around people I introduce you too, as many of my friendships are slightly professional. Use your business voice when calling my place of work and leaving messages. If we have a disagreement, let’s table it until we are home. Call me out if I am going into something personal in public. I will do the same.
Children & Adoption
I’m not sure if I can have kids. If you have kids from past relationships, I have no issues treating them as my own. I’m not really that into the idea of adoption though. I would rather go to some foreign country and meet a nice family we can work with to help them support their kids, or even do that in an impoverished neighborhood in our own city. I don’t like interacting with other people’s kids, because I don’t want to be accused of anything like, oh you hurt my kid. Don’t be alarmed if I get bored and walk away from the kid related conversation, don’t say the baby is cute, don’t want to hold it, etc. I’m just not that kind of girl. If it is my kid cool, if not, I just really don’t want to be around it.
Past Relationships
I’ve had a nice amount. Don’t ask, don’t tell. Or tell, and tell. I’m ok with either, just let me know upfront. I’m ok with you being friends with your exes, if we have mutual respect and confidence in each other, and I expect the same freedom, although, I am not really in touch with mine that much anymore. I’ve learned a lot from my past, but I won’t make assumption in regards to your character because of it, and again, expect the same. I may tell you, if you opt in, things that have upset me about others in the past. I don’t have STDs, and you will see a clean bill of health in the appendix, I expect to see yours as well.
Post Relationship
I won’t be dissin you. I will not date your close friends, but I might date an acquaintance… Small world, and Tinder/Social media has made it smaller. Feel free to say, “I would be pissed if you ever dated X, while we are together”, otherwise I may already view that person as a mutual friend, and not your friend, especially if we were introduced around the same time. I’m not interested in any “Crew Love,” either. If I refer to you, after we break up, I will not use your name in discussion. I will simply say one of my exes, and expect the same.
Goals
You need to have goals. I have goals. I will ask you about your goals. Having a successful relationship is not a goal. Think SMART https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/smart-goals.htm
To make sure your goals are clear and reachable, each one should be:
Specific (simple, sensible, significant).
Measurable (meaningful, motivating).
Achievable (agreed, attainable).
Relevant (reasonable, realistic and resourced, results-based).
Time bound (time-based, time limited, time/cost limited, timely, time-sensitive).
If you need help with goal setting, again, great way to engage me, and get me interested in you and your dreams. Ultimately I want to feel like I am helping my partner in their vision, and that we are growing together.
Triggers, Pet Peeves and Criticism
Accusations based on feelings and not evidence piss me off. I love criticism, but only when it is supported. If you think I always leave the cap off the toothpaste, feel free to write it down in a spreadsheets I have access to, and say on X day and X day you forgot to put the cap on the toothpaste. I will check said spreadsheet and correct myself, and we don’t even have to argue. I will also supply a possible solution, such as, I was in a rush, but I will start waking up 15 minutes earlier on interview days for example. I am not going to wash the dishes and clean up everyday. I am likely to do that during the weekend or at a designated time. I am more likely to clean if we are doing it together, or it is on a schedule. If it’s been a few days and I am leaving plates and glasses by my laptop, a simple let’s cleanup Sunday at 2pm is great. If you send a calendar invite, oh boy, you really understand me.
Don’t be passive aggressive. Just put it in text. It will go over much smoother, and the next time you have to tell me, you can say, I told you the same thing last month, and show it to me. Isn’t that better than me saying, oh yeah when, and you not having support for your statement, and us getting heated? Other than religion, too much baby talk can wear on me. I’m drug free. I just need you to be drug responsible. If you smoke a lil weed, or even puff clouds all day I am ok. Just don’t have my work clothes getting hot boxed, and don’t come to the office party coked out. Keep complaints to a minimum. Also, if my occasional slang usage for flare upsets you, let me know, yes, I know that isn’t a word, it’s funny to me because it should be. I think AIN’T, is more expressive than isn’t and shows an evolution of language for expression, not that I am “ghetto,” considering it a warning you might be invoking something you ain’t ready for.
Music
I love love love music. When driving in the car, I like to turn up and dance. I love Rap/Hip Hop, Punk music, Blues, you name it. I’m probably not going to enjoy if you are playing hits from the 90’s and early 2000’s though to be honest. I kind of prefer to listen to modern music, or music older than the 70’s that I haven’t discovered yet. Otherwise, I don’t know, I will just start to feel like you are old, unoriginal, or your selection is dated. I can hear in the music how old it is, I don’t want to feel like that is the pinnacle of my youth. The pinnacle of my youth is now.
Date & Gift Ideas
Getting me waxed and my nails done is for you. Things you can do for me, are even simpler! In fact, if we have been together for a while you will undoubtedly have access to my amazon prime account. You can see everything I use there. That includes fancy soaps, perfumes, etc. I also have a pinterest full of great gift ideas for me. I’m not a hard to buy for girl. I usually keep a spreadsheet of places I want to go in the area I live. I am also very spontaneous and I can usually find something I will enjoy in the moment. If we go somewhere you want to be, and I don’t want to be there, you most likely will not know. I will suck it up, and have a fabulous time, as best I can. I expect you to show me the same courtesy. Don’t sit in the corner pouting and insulting people dancing if you are a wallflower. It is ok if you are a wallflower, just talk about something else. That being said, let’s have some fun! I look forward to getting to know you better, feel free to use the topics discussed therein as a way to start a conversation with me.
I, ____________________________________________________________, have read and understand the points contained in this document.
Appendix
Emergency Emotional Contacts
I, __________________________________________________________, will only discuss the relationship issues we face with my partner, and the people listed below. I agree to introduce my partner to at least 2 of the maximum 4 people I am allowed to tell our mutual business to.
Mutual Friend Selection
Long Term Friend Selection
Friend of Opposite Sex
Relative or Parent
Signature & Date
Printed Name
Past Relationships Policy
I, ______________________________________________________________, would prefer to (Hear or Know/ Not Hear or Know) what has gone wrong in your past relationships, and would prefer to (Hear or Know/ Not Hear or Know) what went well. If there is a story that involves you attending an event with an old partner I would prefer (Omitting them/Omitting the Story). I am (Interested/Not Interested) in knowing about your previous relationships in general.
Signature & Date
Printed Name
Copy of Most Recent STD Tests
Revision #1 - 07/12/2017