INTROVERTI - Do you think you can recognize an introvert in a crowd? Think again. Even if the cliché of the introvert would like him to be the one who, at a party, remains alone near the buffet to strum on his iPhone, a sociable being can just as much have an introverted personality.
"Recognize an introvert can be more difficult than finding Charlie," said Sophia Dembling, author of The Introvert's Way: Living a Quiet Life in a Noisy World ( Understanding the introvert: to live a quiet life in a noisy world ) , adding: "Many introverts may be considered extroverts."
We are often not aware of being introverted - especially when we are not shy - because we do not know that being introverted is not just about being alone. It can be more instructive to ask if the company of others makes you gain or lose energy, even if the presence of friends is a source of pleasure.
"Introversion is a temperament like any other, so that the social aspect - which people are interested in - plays only a tiny role in the definition of the introvert," says Marti Olsen Laney, psychotherapist and author of the introvert advantage ( the advantage of the introvert ), at a conference . He adds, "This can be reflected in every aspect of life."
Despite the frequent debates on the subject of introversion, it remains a relatively poorly understood personality trait. Recently, in 2010, the American Psychiatric Association even studied the idea of classifying cases of "introverted personalities" as disorders by including them in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM-5), used to diagnose diseases. mental.
But more and more introverts are expressing themselves on what it really means to be someone "calm". Not sure if you're introverted or extroverted? Maybe one of these 23 introversion indicators fits you.
1. You find the extremely heavy chattering
Introverts are known to be allergic to chatter. Idle discussions can be a source of anxiety or even nervousness. For many quiet people, gossip may seem insincere.
"Let's clear things up: we introverts do not hate chattering because we do not like people, we hate chatter because of the barrier it creates between people," writes Laurie Helgoe in introvert power: why your inner life is your Hidden strength ( the power of the introverted why your inner life is your secret force ).
2. You go to parties - but not to meet people
As an introvert, you can enjoy going to a party from time to time, but it's a safe bet that it's not to meet new people. At a party, most introverts prefer to spend time with acquaintances and feel confident. You can enjoy meeting new people - but getting to know each other is not your goal.
3. You often feel alone in a crowd
Have you ever felt like a stranger in the middle of a rally or group activity, even with people you know?
"If you tend to be alone in a crowd, you may be introverted," says Sophia Dembling. You can go to an activity or mix with a group if it comes to you, but you rarely have the reflex to be the instigator. "
4. Creating your (professional) network gives you the impression of being fake
Gossiping aimed at advancing a career can seem particularly insincere to introverts, who seek authenticity in their interactions with others.
"The idea of building professional relationships can be stressful if you apply it in a stressful way," says Sophia Dembling, who advises introverts to network within smaller and more intimate groups.
5. You have been told that you were "too intense"
Do you have a penchant for philosophical conversations and adore provocatively provocative books or movies? You are a typical introvert.
"Introverts like to dive into dark areas," says Sophia Dembling.
6. You are easily distracted
While extroverts tend to get bored easily when they do not have much to do, introverts have the opposite problem - they are easily distracted and overwhelmed in an environment with too many distractions.
"Extroverts are generally bored more easily than introverts in monotonous work, probably because what they need to flourish is a high level of stimulation," Clark researchers wrote. University (Massachussets, USA) in an article published in the journal Journal of Personality and Social Psychology "In contrast, introverts are more easily distracted than extroverts and, as a result, prefer relatively less challenging environments."
7. Timeouts do not seem counterproductive
One of the fundamental characteristics of introverts is their need to have time for them to recharge their batteries. While an extrovert may be bored or nervous when he spends a day alone at home, with a tea and a stack of magazines, these downtime is necessary and fulfilling for an introvert.
8. Talking to 500 people is less stressful than having to mix with them after the fact
Introverts can be excellent leaders and speakers - and although they are considered fearful, they are not necessarily afraid to be in the limelight. artists such as Lady Gaga , Christina Aguilera and Emma Watson consider themselves introverted , and about 40% of CEOs have an introverted personality. Introverts have more difficulties when it comes to meeting and greeting a large number of people individually.
9. In the subway, you sit at the end of the bench - not in the middle
As often as possible, introverts try to avoid being surrounded by people on all sides.
"We are the kind of people sitting in places that give us the opportunity to go whenever we want - easily," says Sophia Dembling. When I go to the cinema, I prefer the places on the side or the back. "
10. You start turning off after being in activity for too long
Do you feel tired and indifferent after being out for too long? It's probably because you are trying to preserve your energy. "All that introverts do on the outside causes them to expend energy, after which they need to recharge in a quiet environment," explains Sophia Dembling, "for lack of a peaceful place where they can recharge their batteries, many introverts will need to escape. "
11. You are in a relationship with an extrovert
It is true that opposites attract, and that introverts often gravitate around extroverts who encourage them to have fun and not to take themselves too seriously.
"Introverts are sometimes attracted to extroverts because they like to embark on their" entertainment bubble, "says Sophia Dembling.
12. You prefer to be an expert in one area than to try more than one
The cerebral pattern that introverts follow allows them to focus and study a subject over a long period of time, which is why they are more inclined to intensively study and develop expertise, according to Marti Olsen Lanney.
13. You flee like the plague the shows where the public could be solicited
Because, let's be honest, is there something more terrifying?
14. You filter your calls - even from friends
Sometimes you do not answer calls, even those of people you love, but you will remember them as soon as you feel mentally ready and get the energy for the conversation.
"For me, a phone that rings, it's like someone coming up from a closet shouting 'BOUH!'" Says Sophia Dembling. "I enjoy long conversations with friends - as long as it does not happen suddenly, like a hair in the soup."
15. You notice details that others do not pay attention to
The advantage of being overwhelmed by a multitude of stimuli is that introverts often have the eye to notice the small details, which escape the others. One study found that introverts had greater brain activity when processing visual data, compared to introverts.
16. You are constantly monologizing with yourself
"Extroverts do not argue as much with themselves as we do," says Olsen Laney. Most introverts need to think first and then talk. "
17. Your blood pressure is low
The Japanese research from 2006 found that introverts tend to have lower blood pressure than extroverts.
18. You are being called "old wise" - since you were 20 years old
Introverts observe and absorb a lot of information, and they think before speaking, which gives them an apparent wisdom.
"Introverts tend to think a lot and be more in the analysis," says Sophia Dembling. It can make them sound wise. "
19. Your environment does not ecstatic you
Introverts observe and absorb a lot of information, and they think before speaking, which gives them an apparent wisdom.
"Introverts tend to think a lot and be more in the analysis," says Sophia Dembling. It can make them sound wise. "
19. Your environment does not ecstatic you
Neurochemically speaking, giant parties are not your cup of tea. Extroverts and introverts differ significantly in the way their brains process experiences through sources of "pleasure".
Researchers have demonstrated this phenomenon by giving Ritalin - a drug for hyperactivity stimulating the production of dopamine in the brain - to introverted and extroverted students. They concluded that extroverts were more likely to associate the feeling of euphoria due to the rise of dopamine in the environment in which they found themselves. Introverts, on the other hand, did not associate the feeling of pleasure with their environment. The study "suggests that introverts have a difference in how they treat the pleasure of their surroundings, with a brain more easily assimilating internal stimuli than external stimuli, such as motivation or pleasure," explains Tia Ghose, of the journal LiveScience .
20. You consider things as a whole
Describing the thinking of introverts, Jung explained that they were more interested in the ideas and the overview rather than the facts and the details. Of course, many introverts excel in detail-oriented tasks - but often they are also sensitive to more abstract concepts.
"Introverts really appreciate abstract discussions," says Sophia Dembling.
21. You've been told to "get out of your shell"
Many introverted children come to think that something is wrong with them because they are naturally less frank and assertive than their peers. Introverted adults often tell us that, as children, they were told to get out of their shells or to participate more in class.
22. You write
Introverts often communicate better in writing than in speech, and many of them are attracted to the solitary and creative profession of writing. Most introverts - such as the author of "Harry Potter," JK Rowling - report greater creativity when they have time to be alone with their thoughts.
23. You alternate between periods of loneliness and work, and sociable periods
Introverts can circulate around their "checkpoint" which determines how they should balance loneliness and social life. But when they get away from it - for example by overworking themselves with too much sociability and occupation - they become stressed and feel the need to refocus on themselves, according to Marti Olsen Laney. This can be manifested by periods of high sociabilization, counterbalanced by periods of withdrawal and loneliness.
"There is a point of recovery that seems to correlate with the intensity of socialization," says Sophia Dembling, "we all have our own cycles."