Although better known for his carpentry, waterproof sandals, and weather forecasting, Jesus did have a bit to say about investing as well. One of his best-known aphorisms on the subject is recorded in Matthew's gospel:
Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal.
Matthew 6:20 (NLT)
As is often the case with Jesus's sayings, this requires some unpacking before the true meaning becomes clear, but I think I've finally figured it out. First of all, the english word "heaven" is not an accurate translation of the original Greek text, which instead used the word οὐρανός, meaning simply sky. Note, dear reader, that "sky" is the place where clouds are, and thus the most accurate translation in contemporary english would be "store up your treasures in the cloud."
Based on this understanding, the meaning of the rest of the passage begins to become clear: the only store of wealth I know of that is truly cloud-based, is immune to moth or rust damage, and is insidiously difficult for thieves to steal, is cryptocurrency, and thus it must be concluded that Jesus was directing his followers to store their wealth in cryptocurrency!
But there's an awful lot of scam coins out there; surely Jesus wouldn't leave his followers such an open-ended dictum without any clear direction on which coin to choose, and indeed he did not.
Some false teachers will surely claim that Jesus intended his followers to store their wealth in Bitcoin, but clearly this is not so:
So the last will be first, and the first will be last.
Matthew 20:16 (NIV)
Bitcoin is the first coin listed on CoinMarketCap, and is, almost without exception, the first one people are introduced to.
Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many.
Matthew 7:13 (ESV)
Bitcoin is the coin that the most people trust to store their wealth, and it is by far the easiest one to buy with fiat currency. Do not be led astray, beloved readers, this is not the path.
No, to understand which coin Jesus intended his disciples to buy, we need look no further than the original advice: "Store up your treasures in the cloud." Clouds are made of water vapor, and there is only one coin whose name means water vapor, and that is Steem.
Who can argue with such a clear directive? It is irrefutable: Jesus advised his followers to store up their treasures in Steem.
Thanks for reading, folks! I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it. :)
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