Careful out there party people! This reporter just took a trip into the crypto-forest to track down the truth behind the rumors of Sasquatch’s affinity for the altcoin market. While tales concerning the yeti’s mishandling of Ripple (XRP) have yet to be verified, I was able to uncover the scoop of the century concerning another pump-and-dump my hairy friend recently took part in. For Iota (MIOTA), it seems the Internet of Things just got 'tangled' in a love story...
I met up with Bigfoot in the Redwood National and State Parks complex just east of the sleepy town of Orick, Ca. A fog had set in that morning, wetting the needles of the giant trees and dampening the soft bark that lay strewn along the forest floor. As I made my way deep into the woods, I kept a close watch for the telltale signs of Sasquatch activity. When I saw the piles of scat petrified amongst the sword-ferns, I knew I was getting close.
Bigfoot has always been a friend of mine. I met the ape-like forest-predator some years back while vacationing in the area. We immediately developed a natural partnership. Sasquatch taught me how to fish in the tributaries that drained into the Klamath River and I taught him to trade. First with a Coinbase account, and then on Binance, the beast quickly adapted to the technological age setting up a solar powered mining rig in his wooded layer, now only yards away from where I stood.
I called out to let him know I had crossed into his territory. Bigfoot invited me into his layer with a welcoming bellow to conduct the following interview:
MCM: Thank you for having me, Bigfoot. Are you ready to get started?
BF: Yes, I’m ready.
MCM: Great. Let’s get right to it. I wanted to ask how long you’ve been courting Iota (MIOTA) and how you made the decision to hook up in the first place?
BF: Yeah, I traded some of my Ethereum (ETH) for Iota (Miota) in early December. I was excited by the talk of a Microsoft partnership that permeated the chatrooms back then.
MCM: Ha ha, we all got sold a bill of goods with that one.
BF: And to think people call me a myth. Lulz.
MCM: I hear you. So what happened? Did you get out in time or had you bought in at the top?
BF: Oh no, I made some money. I dumped Iota when she broke $US 5.00 for the second time later in the month. The truth had come out about the partnership by then and I knew what was coming.
MCM: Right on. Good for you. We have to take our gains when we hear news like that. No one wants to hold the bag for an overvalued company. But something else happened that kept you tied to Iota (Miota) didn’t it? Can you tell me why you bought back in recently?
BF: After dumping her, Iota (MIOTA) cried for days. She kept promising government contracts and automobile industry use-cases. I wasn’t interested. I tried to let her down easy. But I couldn’t do it. I ended up at her place one night after a few drinks. One thing led to another.
MCM: And?
BF: And she got pregnant.
MCM: So it’s true? The rumors of the pregnancy are true?
BF: Yeah. I didn’t believe it at first either. Everybody was running in and out of Iota (Miota) around that time. How could she know it was mine? But I’ve come to accept it. And I take full responsibility for my actions.
MCM: It could have been anyone! Even I traded in and out of Iota (MIOTA) back then. Are you sure it's yours?
BF: I saw the ultrasound. It’s not human.
MCM: You saw it? Do you have a pic?
BF: Yeah. There’s a copy around here somewhere. You can have it.
MCM: Thanks. So you’re confident it was yours. Are you going to raise it?
BF: We’ll have to work that out. Maybe a part time custody arrangement could work. I’m holding Iota (MIOTA) again. I want to be a part of her life, and the baby’s life.
MCM: Good deal. You’re a better man than I. I hope you waited for a dip to buy back in.
BF: Oh, for sure. I bought back in at $US 2.36. Still too high probably. We’ll see.
Yes we will Bigfoot! I hope this interview shed some light on one of the biggest rumors in the crypto-market. And while the words of the yeti should be convincing enough for even the most skeptical of readers, I’ve included the photo evidence of the ultrasound picture below:
Happy Trading everyone!
Micah C. Miracle