I have lived in Japan for about 7 years now. There are times that I have to step back and look at my friends when they speak English. Because some of the time, I hear something that they can’t be saying… Or I hope so.
Introduced to a new co-worker. She says to me, “I heard that you were a seedy player.” And here I had to stop and think… CD Player – seedy player
My co-teacher was telling me how to make a local dish. “So, shave carrots, daikon (Japanese radish), and someone’s head.” This being in class, I had to look at her and ask, “Is that where the bad students go?” someone’s head – salmon’s head
Listening to my boss at a meeting with the new co-workers. “Hello, my name is Mr. Saito, but you can call me Mr. Psycho, it means best.” I had to explain to him that Saiko, the Japanese for best sounds like Psycho… a crazy person. Psycho – Saiko
Sometimes it’s me that messes up the Japanese pronunciations. When I first came to Japan, people would ask me a question and when I responded, they heard. “Ai shiteru” which means “I love you” instead of “Yes, I understand” – “Hai, shiteru” who knew.
Teaching kids is always interesting. They let you know when you say something funny and it’s sometimes embarrassing. Family Members “mother, father, aunt, uncle” and the students start to laugh. Turns out that the word “Uncle” sounds like “Unnko” which is the Japanese word for poop.
I could write a book about the mispronunciations of the L and R sounds. Me “What kind of food do you like?” Student “I like lice.” I have to stay silent and not laugh because monkey is a racist term, but monkeys love to pick lice from other monkeys and eat them. Lice - Rice
In almost every city in Japan, there are hotels. Some love hotels with interesting names, but it is a guarantee that you will run across a hotel named “Shitte Hotel” in every town. Shitte - City
If some girl comes up to you and says “Ewe Fuck You” don’t judge her too roughly, she is young and foolish and he isn’t really saying anything back. She is just saying that you have nice clothes. Ewe Fuck You – Ii fuku (ii – nice, fuku – clothes)
I have found out the hard way that some American slang doesn’t mean the same as it does in Japan. Don’t go up to a girl, say a joke and then say “JK.” In Japan, JK doesn’t mean “Just Kidding” it means “Jyoshi Koshi” a Japanese Female High school Student. It somewhat means that you want to have sex with a high school student.
When people talk about something that happened a few years ago, some Japanese students laugh. They think you say A few chins ago. As chin in Japanese is ago, with the stress at the beginning of the a, instead of the beginning of the g.