A ray of hope
Whenever Christmas is near I have mixed feelings. I’m happy I’m alive, and I’m scared it’ll happen again. My mom loves to take me with her when she does Christmas shopping ; I have good eyes she says. It was on the 8th of December 2013 as usual I left with mom to Ahia Ohuru (New Market) mom decided our village house had to have a different look than the usual and she plans of achieving this by changing the curtains. We left with the driver and on the way we stopped to pick moms friend Aunt Nancy. I have a love-hate relationship with Aunt Nancy because most times she’s either trying to force her ridiculous ideas on mom or not just minding her business, and other times when I love her is when she offers to buy me food (she knows i love food and i feel no shame in that...yes i love food). Aunt Nancy is very old-fashioned and I’m even more pissed that mom thinks she has better eyes on me on this day, and this has to do with the curtains In my fathers house. Boisterous Aunt Nancy led a very lengthy prayer as she praised God in very weird names I thought though. Honestly I laughed in between prayers. It’s like a tradition for us to say our prayers whenever we’re leaving the house be it in town or out. After prayers, Aunt Nancy started telling Mom about how a lady got caught stealing in a hair salon. One thing I love about Aunt Nancy is that she doesn’t only talk with her mouth, but her bodily language I believe is top notch because it’s as dramatic as she is. I mentioned she never minds her business right? There it is! Always telling people stories. Mom always listens with rapt attention as if she’s in a math class that every detail counts and this made me realize how patient mom is whispers (really patient) cause who gives that amount of attention to a story when there are other things to be done? anyway, We got to the market and the driver parked for us to come down. I came down first and rushed to open the back door for mom; it’s always a pleasure. We all crossed the main road to the other side of the road so we could go into the market to start our purchase. As usual the road is all muddy and flooded, and the devil had asked me to wear sandals instead of shoes. I couldn’t walk well because the mud kept sticking to my sandals and made it heavy as I walked, and this tired me too. The section for curtains is just three blocks away and as I stopped to scrape the mud off my sandals all I remember was flying in the air and waking up in the emergency room. I opened my eyes and could faintly see mom, but I recognized my Twin brother Kelvin’s voice and I knew they were both there. They didn’t know I was awake because I felt numb and even when I tried speaking I couldn’t hear my own voice. I just lay there hoping one of them would look at my direction. My vision became clearer as time went by and luckily for me Kelvin saw me awake and rushed to my side crying and holding my hands. Mom came too and they were talking over each other asking me a million questions. I tried speaking again and I failed. Mom was quick to notice and she asked me are you having difficulty talking and all I could do at this point was to blink twice to tell her yes. I saw tears well up her eyes as she left the room and came back with the doctor and a nurse. She took my vitals and scribbled something down while the doctor massages my body to ask if I was in pain. Again I blinked to answer, but at this juncture everyone was confused. Blink once if no and twice if yes the doctor asked, and I blinked once to tell him no. He shook his head lightly, gave me a fake smile and told mom he would like to see her in his office. I was alone with Kelvin who kept looking at me as if I was an alien, like he saw me for the first time. Mom came back to the room and asked Kelvin to go sleep at home that day. As Kelvin was about to leave I heard mom say “make sure you don’t tell anyone”. I kept thinking what mom is trying to hide and I wanted to ask so bad, but my voice failed me again. This time it got darker and mom asked me to sleep as she was going to do the same. I closed my eyes and pretended to sleep so I wouldn’t keep her worried. After about three hours mom answered a phone call and 10 minutes into the call I hear mom crying my “my baby has stroke o, pastor what should I do”. These words struck me like thunder and I am sure I felt my legs cringe as soon as I heard those words. Hot tears rolled down my eyes and moms tears didn’t make it easier for me. I couldn’t sleep that night as I kept hearing that batch of words repeatedly while I cried profusely. I didn’t know when morning came, but I’m sure I didn’t sleep either. Nne I laalu ofuma? (My baby did you sleep well?) mom asked as she came to my bed side and placed her palm on my forehead in an attempt to check my temperature. I blinked twice indicating yes, and she smiled and just stood there holding my hands. Dad visited with Aunt Nancy today, but Aunt Nancy had a bandage on her left arm. Could she possibly have been in the accident with me I thought. I’ve always known dad to be a man of few words and he’s very good at hiding away his emotions. Dad came closer, bent and kissed my forehead. I don’t know why but that made me cry. I looked up both mom and Aunt Helen was crying as well and dad patted moms back. Days turned to weeks, to months and there was still no progress I felt so pathetic and it burden to my family because all I could do was cry and cry. I couldn’t even thank my mom and Brother for cleaning me up, and being by my side. The doctor said I was going to be discharged on Sunday and I thought he meant I was going to be better on Sunday and I woke up every morning hoping for a miracle. If the doctor said I could be discharged he meant I was better I thought. Sunday finally came and I was still in that helpless state.
That afternoon my brother walked in and carried my things then i was put on a wheelchair pushed down to the car and all i could think of was "This life sucks and is this what's like to be crippled and helpless" the pity charade sunk in and i was depressed already, mom came down and her eyes were swallowed. We got home and i was taken to my room and dad told my brother to come that they needed to discuss man to man (He wanted to tell him of my condition) when my brother got to the sitting room, few minutes and i heard him shout in a breaking voice "Na lie oo, Not my Trouble oo" He calls me "trouble", i'd already started crying again and mom was like "Calm down, is nothing" and she was crying with me. In my head i started murmuring "God i don't deserve this, I've never thought of evil for any man, why me" Like anybody deserved it...I'd already done my new year and Valentine on bed and it was April i wasn't planning on celebrating our (My brothers and i) birthday same place and my brother would come and say "better get ready to be tickled" and he knows i don't like that. On the 22nd April 4 days to our day, we had a visitor and my brother was told to come bring me down so i could be around people, he carried me and fortunately for me he didn't hold his trouser wasn't holding well on his waist and it covered his leg which led to him stepping on it and we fell, my mom screamed "He has finished killing her o, your own twice" (guess Aunt Nancy's Dramatic attitude rubbed off on her) she rushed to carry me up and my Dad came to and i said "Mummy, i'm okay. Leave him for me" She started dancing and they helped me up and i walked JUST LIKE THAT. My brother sees himself as a healer while he's a crazy man.
This is me, all new and butter up.
