Again and again, I was declared a failure. I began to ask where is God? I started at the lowest point when all private university enrollments began to close. My faith began to falter with God. I used to be diligent to be quiet, join the KKR, and give offerings in the church. But since the incident, I started to leave God.
I began to struggle whether I was studying at any university or taking the test next year so that the gap year (unemployed). Finally I decided to be unemployed in advance to prepare for next year.
Suddenly I was invited by my brother to go to the English village, because he is also unemployed. At first I was not interested at all because I've been there before. But I kept going even though at first I was halfhearted.
There I studied for several months and praised God my English skills improved, visible from every test score that continues to increase. For several months there, I went to church to join the TRC service. There I felt reprimanded by God through the word of God delivered.
I realized that my relationship with God was very far away. Upon returning from the place of worship, I again built a relationship to God. Finally every day I can come back for a quiet time.
Before returning home, I tried to enroll in one of the private colleges using the report card. Praise God, I passed the engineering majors (the majors I most wanted).
I am very grateful to graduate there. At first I was a little hesitant because my value is mediocre. After that, I heard there was an English test before going to college as a benchmark of value, thanks to God I can already speak English.
From my journey with God, I believe that God's plan is always the best. Sometimes God allows us to face a struggle to process our lives. Often we think God is so wicked, but believe that God always designs the best for every one of His children. Jesus bless you.