Joke 1
God gives every bird a worm
Original post: http://csyd.es/1/201
Joke 2
We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak. – Epictetus
Joke 3
One summer evening a young son came in while his parents were setting the table for supper. Quite surprisingly, he asked if he could help.
His mother said, "No, but I appreciate you asking."
The child responded, "Well, I appreciate you saying no."
Joke 4
Q: What's the difference between sin and shame?
A: It is a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.
Joke 5
Two women were having lunch together, and discussing the merits of cosmetic surgery.
The first woman said, "I need to be honest with you, I'm getting a boob job."
The second woman responded, "Oh, that's nothing. I'm thinking of having my asshole bleached!"
"Whoa," replied the first woman. "I just can't picture your husband as a blonde!"
Joke 6
Tony met a young woman in a bar. She accepted his invitation to go back to his apartment with him. After a few drinks and some soft music, he suggested they retire to the bedroom, and the girl agreed.
Soon they were going at it hot & heavy, when all of a sudden, Tony stopped dead, looked at her and said, "Hey, you don't have herpes, do you?"
"No", she replied. "What would make you ask such a thing?"
"Thats a relief," said Tony. "The last girl didn't tell me till it was too late!"
Joke 7
A medical student just finished her last semester and was heading out to apply to a hospital. The director of the hospital thought the woman was very bright and had a lot of potential. But the doctor wanted to ask her a few questions just to quiz her. "Well." said the doctor, "you seem very qualified. But a few questions before we make anything definite, ok?"
"Of course," said the woman.
"Ok, what do we call the operation of removing your tonsils?" asked the director.
"That's easy," the woman said, "A tonsillectomy."
"Very good. Ok, What is the removal of your appendix called?" the director continued.
"I believe that is an appendectomy," the woman said confidently.
"Good job. One more. What do we call a sex change operation?" the director asked. Now the woman was very intelligent and she learned every medical term known to man, but for some reason she could not remember what a sex change operation was called. She sat staring at the wall for some time before the director began to get anxious. "Do you know?" he asked repeatedly.
Regaining her composure she finally smiled and said, "Of course, that would be addadictomy."
Joke 8
Q: What's the speed limit of sex?
A: 68; at 69 you have to turn around.
Theodore Roosevelt
Original post: http://csyd.es/1/198
Originally post at: https://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2018/01/daily-jokes-from-sydesjokes-for-7-jan.html
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