Hello, everyone. This post on tips for raising kids, I’ll be discussing gaining trust and developing an open relationship with our kids. Do your kids feel free to talk to you about anything? Or turn to you in times of trouble?
How many television shows have you seen with a character describing their childhood memories in which the father figure was menacing and fear mongering. Or another way of saying it is the character was afraid of any contact with their father figure. Maybe they were overly insulting or even physically responsive..
In today’s entertainment the demoralizing parental figure is as common as it gets. This may be funny on the television screen, maybe it is funny as a comedian talks about mental or physical abuses with the audience laughing out loud, but in reality its no joking matter..
There are more types of abuse or at least parental failures than just mental and physical abuse though. What about the lack of trust in the relationship? What about the lessons unlearned that hinder the child through out the life span?
As a parent raises a child it is the responsibility of the parent to make sure there is a level of trust in the relationship in which the child feels comfortable discussing anything with the parent..
I believe over reaction is a problem we all have in our lives. It is involuntary, compulsive, unwarranted, and unwanted but it happens. And that over reactive tendencies will cause a child not to trust the parent to talk about certain problems in life.
The child may be afraid of being yelled at or overly judged or even worse. That is a lack of trust. As a parent we should always always always be mindful to make sure we are building a relationship in which our children are not afraid to talk to us about anything..
How do we do that? One way that I have been trying is never say the first thing that pops into your mind. It is sometimes counter productive and so it should never be just unleashed. Take a moment and mentally compare several responses in your mind and contemplate the reactions of each one. This takes a level of practice and patience but it works. I know my wife has commented on my progress several times and really likes the difference it has made on every day problems in life..
Another thing to consider is just not making decisions spontaneously. Think about every decision you make and consider the out come or at least the potential outcome of each option. Be rational about every little decision you make and when it influences someone else put your self in their shoes and then consider the outcome..
When you do things like this people wont be afraid to speak to you. Your child wont be afraid to speak to you and problems can be dealt with faster and proactively not reactive.
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Let me ask a serious question. If your child ended up drunk at a party or in some kind of trouble (God forbid) would he or she be afraid of calling you for help? I’m not talking about fear of letting you down, that’s to be expected. I’m talking about fear of how you will react verbally and physically. Would they be afraid you will chastise them by yelling in front of their friends? name calling? or embarrassing them unnecessarily? I heard someone doing a lecture call it emotional maturity..
My child is too young for any such problem to exist but if that day ever comes I would really like to think that I could just pick my son up and go home with out commotion and deal with the problem the next day with a clear head and stable emotions..
How about you? How would you deal with that kind of problem? If you have any stories you would like to share please feel free. I think we all can learn from experiences of others.
http://www.christianfoodforthought.com/tips-for-building-trust-with-your-kids/