Alright... I'll break it down for you, child. If I'm not down to teach children about hiphop, who will be?

My history started with a ship that hit the inner lips of a Maryland Eastern Shore

This is what you call a stretched bar. A couple multis in there, but the end rhyme is just left out there alone. Not good.

Shackled by brown skinned labeled black
They carried the weight of our family's humanity on their back

This couplet is cool, and depending on the flow could sound decent... but seriously basic. Black/back end rhymes. Meh

So to make it to better days theyd persist through the night
Keeping their eye on that North Star,

Weird couplet. No rhymes at all in this one.

Until that Sweet Chariot swung low
My family was emancipated....freed...uneducated and no dough

Cool, but the "..."s lead me to believe there was some pausing on both sides of "freed", which means this bar would be stretching it as well.

With no place to go
They had to start from scratch *

RIGHHHTT... This right here is a solid couplet, eh? Yea yea... This is definitely two bars right here. Mmmmmhmmm. Definitely. No question. SMH

Imagine carrying the world with whip marks on your back
But my ancestors did just that

Back/that... Really breaking the mold on this one.

They persisted through the night
They were gonna be free if it took a million nights

Night/nights... DUDE... You killing this bro. How do you even come up with this? DAMN. Fire, just fire.

They persisted for a better life
There was a future to see

Another couplet that makes no sense if each of these are actually bars.

They persisted for me

And the last "bar".

Get the fuck off your high horse bro. This wasn't a 16 bar verse. Lay it down on any instrumental and show me otherwise. 16 Lines does not equal 16 bars.

Can't take constructive criticism, this isn't the place for you.