Amongst the many things our society and the world lacks, one monumental element is ‘kindness.’ If we are kind enough to ourselves and everyone around us, our life and the lives of those around us would become much better and happier. Whenever I think of kindness, I cannot help but think of the following amazing quote by Lao Tzu.
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Kindness is such a beautiful element which if you use more often can make each and every area of your life beautiful, happier, profound and more peaceful. In this post, I’ll elaborate on the importance of kindness by dissecting the three parts in the quote above to encourage you and even myself to be even kinder to our own selves and all those around us even strangers.
How Kind Words Build and Increase Confidence
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The words you use while talking to yourself and those around you directly affect their self-esteem and self-confidence. For instance, if you make a mistake and say, ‘Shit, what did I do?’ or anything harsh similar to this, you’ll instantly feel that you made a big mistake and made a fool of yourself. You may even start questioning your ability to do something correctly. If you keep using harsh words with yourself, you will keep lowering down your sense of self-worth and will soon have a very low opinion of yourself. Since I personally know people who actually did that, I know the devastating effects of using unkind words with yourself.
I have never been unkind to myself but there was a time when I wasn’t really kind to myself either. I started suffering from small bouts of depression which would have grown bigger had I not started being kind to myself. I began working on my self-talk and made sure to keep saying nice, positive things to myself. ‘You did a good job!’, ‘Well done!’, ‘You did well and can do even better’ were and are a few of the nice things I say to myself every day and honestly, it has helped me become emotionally stronger, happier and more courageous than ever.
As important as it is to be kind to yourself, it is equally important to be kind to those around you. Often we say things before thinking them through but little do we know that those words can stab someone sharply in the heart. for instance, I had a habit of saying ‘You’ll never grow up’ to my younger sister a few months back. Although I didn’t mean any harm to her when I used to say this, these words were really crushing her from within. I came to know about this when one day she couldn’t handle it anymore and vented out her anger on me. My words made her feel that she wasn’t good enough and that she was immature and would always stay that way. It also triggered her anxiety and made her think of unhappy memories. When she opened up to me, I realized how important it was to be kind to those around you and be careful while speaking to anyone.
Since that time, I became more careful with my choice of words with people and especially my sister. I encouraged her more, appreciated on her efforts and made sure to say something nice to her every time we met. In just a few weeks, her confidence levels improved and now she feels much better talking to people and interacting with them. She even has a nice job now and is happy with it.
If you are speak unkindly to yourself or to anyone around you, start working on improving it and if you are consistent with it, you’ll observe an amazing improvement in your emotional well-being and that of your loved ones.
How Kindness in Thinking Creates Profoundness
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Kindness should not be limited to the way you talk to yourself and others but should be applied to the way you think as well. Being kind in thinking refers to adopting a nonjudgmental attitude towards your thoughts and ideas. Instead of judging your thoughts and criticizing a certain idea for not being good enough, you need to be kind enough to dissect it and view it from an unbiased perspective. For when you are kind in thinking, you gain better clarity and perspective of things and you delver deeper into things that helps you understand them better.
Often, many of our problems stem from not being kind enough to our thoughts and for analyzing them judgmentally. We associate too much meaning with everything and end up creating mountains out of mere molehills. This is exactly what makes us take strong reactions instantly and then hold regrets later. If we adopt a kind attitude towards our thoughts and the ideas of everyone around us, we would become more open and accepting towards new things and perspectives and would slowly create profoundness in our thought pattern and life in general.
How Kindness in Giving Helps Manifest Love?
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Kindness in giving is just as important as kindness in words and thinking. Love is a beautiful emotion and one which if you are able to manifest can make your life extremely special. I know of many people who are missing out on this emotion in their lives and while there are many reasons behind this, one big one is that they are unkind when it comes to giving.
Love is not something that is created magically or comes out of nowhere. You can create it too. If you are kind when it comes to giving, you can easily manifest this powerful emotion. How can you be kind in giving? You need to be generous enough to be patient with people; you need to be sweet enough to compliment them; you need to be merciful and big enough to let go of their mistakes; and you need to be courageous enough to accept them. Give kindness to people and I know it is hard but try to expect as less as you can because if you lower down your expectations, you’ll get greater returns.
I know being big enough and extremely kind in giving is not easy but you need not do something big right away. Just start with something small and simple in the start and slowly build your way to being kinder in giving. Begin by complimenting someone or simply not being grumpy with your spouse or making dinner for your wife. Just do anything kind you feel you can do easily and then gradually work at it. If you keep doing that and keep being kind and sweet in giving, love will definitely embrace you and engulf you forever in its beautiful, soft and supportive wings.