Friend,
Does it ever piss you off to get online and read what people have to say about kratom? It seems there are endless comments on sites like YouTube, where angry kratom defenders almost protest, “kratom is a natural cure for everything!” It’s so obvious to me now…but let’s think about this claim real quick. Could there really be a non-addictive herb that provides feelings of euphoria, relaxation, increased energy, and pain relief? In addition, could this herb also prevent cancer; cure addiction to other harmful substances; and improve overall sexual function? According to the endless comments on YouTube, kratom has all of these benefits, plus more! And guess what? These defenders claim kratom is less addictive than coffee and comes with no side effects! Sounds a little too good to be true, right? That’s because……..it is too good to be true.
While kratom can be used to help people recover from more dangerous substances–and that alone is incredible–I’m guessing you’ve already come to realize, kratom can also be addictive. And when the time comes to quit, the withdrawals (and acute post withdrawal syndrome) are absolutely miserable! If you’re not convinced, read the many discussions at: https://www.reddit.com/r/quittingkratom/
It can feel lonely in your quest to quit using kratom. With so many people out there claiming it has no side effects or addictive qualities, you may start doubting yourself and questioning if you really should quit. I know I went through that phase of questioning.
But let me make this clear; and there is no debate in the scientific community about this:
KRATOM IS AN ADDICTIVE DRUG AND OPIOID ANTAGONIST.
So, go ahead and put your self-doubt to rest and trust your instincts; your rational mind; and some sound advice. Take a deep breath and realize–although it might not feel like it now–you’re going to be okay, and you will get through this. I’m here to help you along the way, and there are many techniques to help you recover. With time, your motivation and willpower will gain strength, and things will get easier. For now, just keep reading and doing what you’re doing; all the answers you’re looking for will be found. I can assure you, the simple act of doing this research is taking a step in a positive direction. Good job!
Undoubtedly, you’ve noticed the more you use kratom on a regular basis, the less effective the herb works. This increased tolerance, means you have developed a dependency on the opioid compounds found in kratom. Essentially, your brain is no longer proficient at independently producing its own “feel good” chemicals, called ‘endorphins.’ At least for now. Currently, your brain is trained to rely on kratom for producing happiness and motivation. But don’t freak out! This condition is completely reversible–your brain simply needs time to heal and regain balance from the drug abuse it has experienced.
As my tolerance built, I began to feel very moody and lost much of my enjoyment in life. Eventually, the only thing giving me a slight feeling of fleeting pleasure, was a hefty dose of kratom. Just to avoid the unpleasant feelings of withdrawals, I was dosing multiple times a day. At which point, I decided a long tapering program should help me control the situation. Surely, I thought, tapering would be the least painful method to quit.
As it turns out, tapering was extremely hard. It was a long drawn-out process. Which–in my current opinion–was completely unnecessary. While tapering, I was moody, grouchy, and glued to my bed for several weeks. I craved my precious green powder all day; only to be disappointed when the small dose did little to satisfy my depression and lethargy. Over and over, day after day, the smaller doses failed to provide me with the warm, opioid happiness I once knew and loved. Tapering only increased my cravings, and the constant temptation frustrated me beyond words.
At the end of two months of tapering, I decided to reward myself. I went to my closet and dug into my gigantic bag of red horned kratom. I mixed up a two tablespoon dose; and said to myself, “Good job, Me! I’m going to get ‘high,’ one last time.” I drank down the nasty sludge–and to my surprise–I didn’t get the strong, long-lasting euphoria I hoped for. But as you might have guessed, I quickly returned to regular kratom use anyway.
Obviously, this was a very discouraging event for me. I had suffered a lot with my taper, and I felt it was all for nothing. Of course it wasn’t for nothing. There is one positive outcome from this failure; I learned a valuable life lesson:
PICKING UP OLD HABITS IS EASY!
Looking back, it was a terrible idea to keep a large supply of kratom sitting around the house. I had been constantly craving a full dose of kratom for two months. The nagging feelings were like an itch that couldn’t be scratched. With all that pent up desire, my habit came rushing back worse than it had ever been. Whats more, the taper failure put my self-doubt at an all-time high as well.
Several months of kratom abuse continued. This ongoing habit lead to my experience with disturbing hallucinations. Yep, this herbal drug–so often thought of as harmless–left me seeing nonexistent spiders on myself; on my bedroom walls; and even crawling on my wife while she slept next to me! At least five times, I had these terrifying hallucinations while taking excessive amounts of kratom. I was feeling absolutely numb, and my sexual life was suffering too.
To make matters worse, this wasn’t my first problem with severe mental issues while taking kratom. Approximately five months before these hallucinations began (and before I realized I was addicted to kratom), I attempted suicide after not taking kratom for several consecutive days. Unbeknownst to me at that time, feelings of extreme depression are common for people when quitting habitual opioid use.
I reflected on all of these experiences. After several days of internal debating had ended, I became very determined to quit. This time would be different. I had to do it cold turkey. And I had to quit, for good!
I went to my wife about the problem. She was actually surprised at how severe the addiction had become. She thought my unstable mood and depression were caused by something other than kratom use. I assured her it was the kratom and she was very understanding. Quickly, she disposed of all my kratom (as a former kratom distributor, I had nearly five kilos on hand).
Fortunately for me, my wife was beyond supportive and happy to help in many ways. I informed her that I would likely be depressed for several months, and I needed her to keep me from purchasing more kratom. I also asked her for additional comfort while I was at my worst. She agreed and promised to keep me from doing anything unsafe. I am forever grateful for her help during that difficult time!
There were many withdrawal symptoms. But mainly, a long-lasting depression and desperate craving to use kratom again. For almost four months I struggled to regain my ability to find happiness without kratom. My brain had been injured from kratom abuse, and it was very apparent. At times, I would sit and remissness on being a kid. I could envision myself outside with friends on a hot sunny day, playing baseball or swimming at the pool. I thought back on laughing, blood circulating through my body, and feeling life’s possibilities were endless. Those days seemed so far away. I missed times like that, and I wanted to know if I would ever get that feeling back? Could I ever feel joy again without using a substance to get me there?
I realized something during those times of meditation: The road back is long and challenging, but it’s available to all of us. If you’re willing to commit to change and reach out for help. You will find your way back. Just remember, once the journey has begun, do not look back. Remain patient during the rocky traverse through recovery. Your mind, body, and soul will thank you in the end. I can assure you of this, because I have found my way back–and its a beautiful thing to enjoy life with complete sobriety!
Written by TewPoint0