Thanks for sharing! I love this part:
"When I get into situations that trigger anxiety, I don't have a panic attack. I get silent, distant. I stop being able to think and don't take in most of what people tell me, and responding is even worse. "

I get like that as well! I describe it as a system overload like on a computer. My brain was trying to focus on everyone talking at once and it freezes up, starts sputtering like a computer basically when you hit refresh impatiently. Kratom does really really help me in that! I also use red strains before bed for my arthritis. I love finding natural ways to ease my bodies quirks if you will. The pharma train nearly killed my husband and severely damaged me. We put waayy to much naive trust in bad doctors of medicine, but were lucky enough to get out alive and walking! I'll be following you!