My ugliness. See him in a poto display. Marvel and sigh. Trying down a slit in his face that can make me hate. But no. Near perfect flawless. The guy I craved from the first. Right there in my house. Sleep and eat at my house. But he is not my husband.
I woke myself out of a daydream with him. I got up and hurried to prepare food for breakfast. The man came out the door of his room. Look at me and smile.
"Good morning, Nining." Said her.
"Morning." I replied briefly.
At the same time my brother came out of the same room. He stared at the fried rice and balado of anchovy. Instantly he pulled the man to the table and poured fried rice onto a plate. I watched my spoiled younger brother act with the white-skinned man.
"Do not you eat?" He asked.
I was surprised because it was looking at the man next to him.
"Later." I replied.
Before my heart was hot on that cloudy morning, I hurried from there and went outside. Go somewhere. To the place where my sister, Sheila and the man beside her were not there.
This has been going on for two years. First time he came to our house. I cried on the wedding night where I decorate their room. At times they wrestle with the romance in the long nights. I just wrestle with my own painful heart. The man who was with my brother was the man who became my playmate since childhood.
The man who picked me up from the mud of buffalo mud when I fell into it. The man who gave me a cheat sheet in the class and gave me a loan of money when I accidentally broke the meatball bowl and had to replace it.
To him, I'm just his friend. Playmate. And the friend he helped in trouble. There is no feeling in his heart for me. And it grows in my sister's heart. Sheila.
"Please give this chocolate to Sheila yes." He said after we went home to apply for work.
"Why not love yourself," I asked.
"I'm ashamed," she replied. Immediately I noticed her cheeks flushed.
"Here. I'll give it to myself. "In my heart I intend to eat it myself and I say I brown it accidentally. But at home I did not even bear to see the face of my sister sumringah constantly asking the man. Finally the chocolate did not eat.
Two years ago I was still not convinced that he would be my brother-in-law. I still believe that a strong heart to love him will take him to my arms. But I was wrong. He's getting closer. More and more to my house. They both often chuckle on a Saturday night. And I changed from a friend to a day care greeting.
I keep walking. To a place I do not know. This is Sunday. Sheila and he must have planned to watch television at home. I can not stand the chuckling sound of their lips. I'm not unhappy. Just can not bear it. That I alone suffered. That I just love the wrong.
In a lonely place where only the grasses that wobble back and forth are played by the morning breeze. In the sky clouds get closer and gather. I'm not afraid the rain will fall. I want to drop my heart here and do not want to take her home.
I wish I could tear my chest and pull out the man's name in my heart. I dumped that feeling here. In this quiet place. And I will not come here to pick it up. I'm tired and bored, God please leave my races here. I begged.
While the black clouds above are getting thicker. The grass grew harder in the wind. I sat on a fallen tree trunk. There was no one. I need not fear to get wet. And no one will say anything to me here.
Then my face began to get wet. A drop fell from my eyes, but there was another drip that did not come from my face. But from above. Rain is falling. The sky cried with me. Donate more water that wet my face.
God, help me to eliminate this feeling. At the same time I see from a distance there is a figure of a statue. Vaguely from the rhinoceros I tried to trace the face. The body I know. But from a different appearance. The man standing was like my sister's husband.
Never again God, please.
He walked over. On his back was a big bag and he tried to cover his head with the palm of his hand. It was useless because the rain had wet her body. When it is close. I found myself in front of a man soaking wet. We were both wet by the rain. But soon I realized who the man in front of me. "Gilang" softly in the rain that makes my voice half-lost.
"Incidentally, Wahyuningsih. We meet under the rain. The same as when we split up first. "Why are you coming back?" I still do not believe it. That face is the face that was in my house all this time. But the heart in it is a heart that has wandered away. And now he's back.
"I've had success. And want to hang out with the Eagles again. "He mentioned the man's name.
"Then?"
She was surprised.
"Then why are we just here? Has your house just been washed away by the rain? "
Immediately I realized. I got up and took her home. We walked under the rays of light that slowly began to take over the earth from the rain that had fallen. Together with that. I forgot something. The Eagle's name is not in my heart. He lived there, in the weeds. And now Gilang is paddling me with his hand. We were both wet.